In Another Life
by weddingonapostit
Summary: AU. Derek Shepherd has it all: a beautiful wife and his perfect job. But his life is about to be turned upside down and inside out when he meets his latest patient: Meredith Grey. He has a choice to make but will he risk it all?
1. Chapter 1

_This story idea has been going around in my head for a while. I'm a huge fan of MerDer and wanted to try their relationship from a different angle. Please note: Meredith is not an intern at the hospital, nor has she ever been – no-one knows her or has met her before. So, here we go:_

The room was peaceful. Outside, the sun was just starting to rise, sneaking into the room through a crack in the curtain. The light fell onto a bed in which two people lay intertwined – unaware that their peacefulness was about to be shattered. As the clock beside the bed changed to read 6.00am, the room was filled with the sound of an urgent buzzing and a flashing light. From the bed an arm appeared from under the duvet and the hand fumbled around blindly, touching everything but what it was looking for. It eventually found the alarm clock and hammered the top of it, but nothing happened. There was a sigh, and a head appeared from under the duvet. He located the alarm clock, pressed the off button and threw himself back onto his pillow. He looked over at his wife who was still asleep and poked her.

"Derek, what is it?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"As much as I hate to acknowledge the fact, our vacation is over. It's time to get up," he replied standing up. He ran a hand through his hair which was sticking up at all angles and stumbled across the bedroom. "Addison?" When there was no reply he turned round back to the bed and noticed she was still asleep. Quietly he picked up a cushion off the chair and threw it at her. She sat up.

"I'm up, I'm up!" she said, rolling out of bed and pulling on her dressing gown. "6am, oh how I hate you. Can't we just escape again Derek? Go back to the beach, back to the time when 6am didn't matter, when I could just lie around all day and do nothing, and spend time with you?"

"As great as it sounds – we have jobs, duties to take care of people. Bills don't pay themselves you know," Derek replied. "I'm going for a shower – you better be ready in half an hour because I'm not waiting for you. You can make your own way to work; you're not making me late!"

Addison raised a hand to her head and saluted Derek. "Alright, sir."

At 6.45am they were pulling up outside Seattle Grace Hospital. Derek drove the car into a space, jumped out and pulled his briefcase from the back of the car. Addison took her time. They walked into the hospital together and into one of the lifts. Derek turned to his wife.

"Have a good first day back, meet you back at the car after our shifts?" he asked, planting a kiss on her cheek.

Addison nodded, and made her way out of the lift as it stopped on her floor. She gave a little wave as she headed off and the doors closed again. Derek smiled to himself, and when the lift had gone up two more floors he stepped off. Despite having had a break, he was happy to be back. He was happiest when he was saving lives and performing risky surgeries. He hoped he'd have plenty of interesting patients for the day. He whistled to himself as he made his way to the Chief's office and gently knocked on the door. He heard two voices inside the room, and one of them told him it was alright to enter.

"Dr Webber, Dr Bailey, great to see you!" he exclaimed as he stepped through the door.

"Ah Dr Shepherd, we were just talking about you. It's great to see you back. How was the vacation, how is Addison?" the Chief asked, swinging round in his chair and standing up. He reached across to shake Derek's hand. Bailey pointed towards the door. "I'll leave you two to it. Dr Shepherd, when you're finished I've got a new patient for you and a bunch of very willing interns." She said.

Derek nodded in response and she swiftly left the room, then he turned back to face the Chief. "Vacation was wonderful – the time off was well needed. Addison is excellent; she was a bit more reluctant to return this morning however." Both men laughed."I, on the other hand can't wait to get stuck in again," he said rubbing his hands together. "Bring it on!"

The Chief smiled. "That's what I like to see in my staff, enthusiasm. Now I should let you get back to work," he said, indicating towards his office door. "Have a good day."

Derek went and collected his white jacket, and he sighed as he slipped it on feeling complete again. He looked at his watch and decided he had time for a coffee before he went to see his first patient of the day. After he had finished he went to look for Bailey. He didn't have to look hard as he heard her voice waft around the corner "...Karev, keep up. Stevens, don't look so bored." She soon appeared with four interns practically running to keep up with her.

Derek took in the sight approaching him. By Bailey's side Cristina Yang was studying a patient's notes, her forehead crinkled in concentration as she tried to make sense of them. Walking beside Cristina was George O'Malley desperately trying to read over Cristina's shoulder. A little behind the group were Alex Karev, and Izzie Stevens who was rolling her eyes at every given opportunity.

"Ah, Dr Shepherd, good you've found me. Follow us." Bailey said, indicating he should join her group. Derek tagged along and they reached a patient's room. Bailey opened the door and allowed her interns in. Derek took the patient notes from Cristina and looked at them, while Bailey asked one of the group to present the patient. In her eagerness to be the one to do so, Cristina elbowed George in the face as she waved her hand frantically in the air. George let out a small "watch it" and glared at her. "Stevens, present."

Izzie smiled and stepped forward, happy to take the spotlight. "This is Meredith Grey, 31 year old female. She's been suffering migraines for a couple of months now, but now they've got a lot worse and more frequent. She also has blackouts and seizures"

Derek took his eyes off the notes and looked properly at the patient for the first time. He noticed how striking she was – despite something being wrong she was smiling warmly at him. He noticed her dimples when she smiled, making her seem somewhat vulnerable yet her soft blue/green eyes twinkled and he sensed that she was strong-willed and not at all vulnerable. "Miss Grey, I'm Dr Shepherd. I'd like to send you for a scan so we can get to the bottom of these blackouts and seizures."

Meredith smiled up directly at him. "Please Dr Shepherd, call me Meredith."

"One of our interns will prep you and take you up for the scan, and then we can take it from there...Meredith," Derek replied, turning to Dr Bailey. "Dr Bailey, I'd like to assign Izzie Stevens to this case."

"You heard the man, Stevens – you're with Miss Grey. O'Malley, you're with me; Karev – Mark Sloane requested you in plastics; and Yang, you're in the pit today. Now go." Bailey barked her orders in her usual fashion. The three interns not needed left, Cristina grumbling under her breath about being confined to the pit.

"Dr Stevens, could you please prep Miss Grey... Meredith and take her up for the scan. I will meet you up there in an hour" Derek said. Izzie nodded and set about getting Meredith ready. As Derek left the room he turned and smiled at Meredith. She smiled back, and then he left.

"He's cute, right?" Izzie said as soon as he had left. She was testing Meredith's blood pressure at the time.

"Who, Dr Shepherd?" Meredith asked, a slight blush rising in her cheeks.

"We call him McDreamy, but shh." Izzie said, smiling. Meredith laughed. "Then there's also McSteamy up in plastics."

The two women chatted as Izzie prepared Meredith for her scan. Meanwhile as Derek was doing his rounds, he kept checking his watch. Time seemed to be moving slowly – the hour couldn't come soon enough.


	2. Chapter 2

Derek paced up and down outside the closed door, every so often stopping to look at his watch. He sighed and continued to pace until finally the door opened and a couple of doctors came out. He smiled at them in greeting and dived inside the room. He looked at the clock again, the second hand seeming to take an age to get round. Finally it struck the hour and Derek looked expectantly out of the open door. He smiled as he saw what he was waiting for approach. Dr Stevens was pushing Meredith Grey in a wheelchair towards the room. He stood up and spoke to both women and then went back to the small room, taking a seat in front of the computer screen. Izzie explained the procedure to Meredith and then joined Derek behind the glass in the other room. Derek pushed a couple of buttons and Meredith entered the scanner. An image of her brain flashed up on screen. Izzie leaned over Derek's shoulder, peering to look at it.

"She has a small tumour on the front left of the her brain," Derek said, pointing at the screen with his pen. "You see?"

Izzie squinted her eyes and tilted her head. "It's so…small" she commented.

"Small, but if left untreated, deadly." Derek said solemnly. He then pushed another button which brought Meredith back out of the macine. "Dr Stevens, I can take it from here. You can go and attend to some other patients until I page you."

Izzie started to protest but after seeing the look in Derek's eyes, she retreated from the room. Derek opened the door between the adjoining rooms and helped Meredith back into her chair.

"So, what's wrong with me doctor?" Meredith asked, flashing Derek a smile that gave him a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Let's get you back to your room first and then we'll talk," he replied, smiling back. He wheeled Meredith out of the room and towards the lift. He waited, tapping his fingers on the handles of the wheelchair. Finally the lift opened and Derek wheeled Meredith in. The doors were about to close, when a hand appeared around the corner and stopped the doors from closing. Derek sighed as Addison ran in.

"How's your day going?" Addison asked, removing her glasses and tucking them into the pocket on her coat.

"Good." Derek replied, nodding. "Yours?"

"Oh you know, the usual." Addison said, looking up at Derek. "Are you alright?"

Derek nodded again. The lift came to a halt and Derek started moving Meredith's wheelchair towards the doors.

"Coffee later?" Addison called as he left the lift.

Derek raised his hand in response and continued wheeling Meredith back to her room.

"She was pretty, friend of yours?" Meredith asked, turning her head to smile up at Derek. He again felt a strange pang at the bottom of his stomach. He nodded and returned her smile. "Well, she's my wife actually."

"You're a very attractive couple." Meredith replied.

Derek laughed. "Thank you. So, what about you?"

At that point they arrived back at Meredith's room. She climbed from her wheelchair back into her bed. "That's a personal question, Dr Shepherd." She smiled at him, but lifted her left hand to show him the ring on her finger. "Engaged. His name's Finn, he's a vet."

Derek lifted Meredith's notes and smiled. "A vet, impressive."

"Are you mocking me, Dr Shepherd?" Meredith asked. Before Derek had a chance to respond, Meredith's smile dropped from her face and she raised a hand to her head. The blood rushed from her face and she suddenly became incredibly pale. "Meredith? What's wrong?" Derek asked, rushing to her side. Meredith's eyes suddenly rolled back in her head, and her body started convulsing uncontrollably. Derek rushed to the door and called for help, as nurses came hurrying in with bits of equipment. Derek hooked up a drip to Meredith's arm and injected her. He then fitted an oxygen mask over her face and waited until the fitting stopped and she was calm again. Izzie appeared at the door.

"Dr Shepherd? Meredith's fiancé is here, can he come through?" she asked. Derek nodded and turned back to look at Meredith. He jumped when his pager broke his thoughts and he looked at it. He'd been called away to another patient. He took one last look at Meredith and left the room.

-

Addison twisted her wedding ring round and round her finger. She looked at her watch again. It was 11pm and she'd just finished her first 42 hour shift since returning to the hospital. She was waiting in the hospital foyer for Derek to meet her before they could travel home together. Feeling increasingly tired she sat down on one of the chairs and closed her eyes. She soon woke with a start when a hand was placed on her shoulder and someone softly spoke her name. "Addison?"

She opened her eyes and saw Derek peering at her. "Ready to go?" he asked, fastening his coat and sticking his hands in his pockets. Addison looked at her watch again. It was 11.30pm - she'd slept for half an hour. "Difficult case?" she asked Derek, standing up and gathering her belongings.

"No, just had a patient I wanted to check on before I left," Derek said absentmindedly, heading towards the exit. Addison jogged to keep up with him. They walked towards their car in silence. When they'd both got in and fastened their seatbelts Addison turned to Derek.

"Are you alright? You were quiet in the lift earlier, and now, well you're not very talkative .You were excited this morning to get back to work…" she trailed off, not wanting to push him too much. Derek reversed out of the space and headed away from the hospital. As he was waiting to exit he turned and smiled at her. "I'm fine, just been very busy that's all."

Addison nodded in understanding and laid her head back against the seat. As they drove along, neither one spoke. Instead Addison looked out of the window, while Derek focused on the road ahead. They soon arrived home and made their way straight upstairs to bed. Addison was soon fast asleep but something was bothering Derek. He couldn't work out what, but whatever it was it was preventing him sleeping. When he finally closed his eyes he was disconcerted to find himself thinking about Meredith Grey.


	3. Chapter 3

"Yang! Stevens! Karev! O'Malley! Where the hell are my interns?" the firm voice of Bailey interrupted the chat in the intern's locker room. Cristina slammed her locker shut and moved quickly towards her resident. George soon joined her, closely followed by Alex. "Where's Stevens?" Bailey barked. "I'm here!" Izzie replied.

"You're late…" Bailey said, not looking at Izzie, but instead leading her interns into the busy hospital corridor.

"Only a minute late…" Izzie replied in protest. She did not fancy getting on the wrong side of Dr Bailey.

"A minute can be the difference between a patient living or dying. Stevens, you're on suturing duty today; Karev in plastics, O'Malley - Dr Burke wants you; Yang - with me." Bailey replied. The other interns went their separate ways to do their duties for the day while Cristina went into the first patient's room.

"Meredith, I'm Dr Yang - I'll be looking after you today," Cristina said, picking up Meredith's charts.

Meredith smiled her usual smile and gestured to the man sitting beside her. "This is my fiancé Finn," she said. "He's a vet!"

Cristina nodded. "That's very… interesting." she replied, filling in the chart in her hands. She closed the charts and walked to the side of Meredith's bed. "If I could just check your blood pressure." she said, while fitting the strap around Meredith's arm. She then went back to the chart and filled it in. "Any pain? Any discomfort, headaches, dizziness?" she asked.

"I had a bit of a headache when I woke up this morning, it's better now though - ever since Finn arrived," Meredith said, reaching out to hold Finn's hand. "He helps me through this."

"How…lovely." Cristina said with no emotion. "Well, I think that's you all set. Dr Shepherd will be around to see you at some stage, to talk to you." Just at that moment there was a knock at the door and Derek walked in. "Here he is." Cristina said, putting down the chart again and exiting the room.

"Good morning Meredith," Dr Shepherd said smiling at his patient. "And this must be Finn, the vet!" he held his hand out to shake Finn's.

Meredith laughed. "You remembered!"

Derek picked up her chart and studied it. "How could I not remember? Anyway, we didn't really get a chance to talk yesterday after your scan - you had a seizure. But I'd like to talk to you both now. You have a tumour on the left hand side of your brain - it's tiny, but left untreated it'll kill you. Now, I can perform surgery and remove the tumour or you can undergo radiation therapy which won't get rid of it but will get rid of the symptoms."

"What are the.. I mean, will she… what do each of those mean?" Finn asked, concern filling his eyes.

"Well, if the surgery is successful and we can remove all of the tumour then you will live a long, normal life. Of course, there are risks involved - memory loss the main one, as we're working with a sensitive part of your brain. There is also a chance all of the tumour will not be removed. If you leave the tumour untreated, you have about 6 months to a year left. With the radiation therapy, you're looking at about 5-6 years." Derek spoke softly. Finn was holding Meredith's hand tightly, and his face had paled considerably. He then looked at Meredith. He was surprised to find her still smiling, a determined look in her eye. "Obviously, this is a huge decision, so I don't want you to rush anything. I'll leave you two alone to discuss the options, and when you decide, please don't hesitate to get a member of staff to contact me - if you opt to have treatment, we want to get the ball rolling as soon as possible."  
"Thank you, Dr Shepherd." Meredith said, nodding at him. Derek left the room and Finn turned to Meredith, sadness in his eyes.

"I want the surgery," Meredith stated simply as soon as he had left the room. "I'm going to fight this."

"But Meredith, the risks… you could lose your memory." Finn said.

"So, you want me to have the radiation treatment, and have 5 or 6 good years with me?" Meredith asked. "What if I have no complications in the surgery? What if Dr Shepherd can remove all of the tumour? What if I can live a long life - we can travel, we can have kids, a family. We can have what we always wanted…"

"But what if you don't? What if it goes wrong, Meredith? Then what? Then you're still here, but you're not you…" Finn asked, standing up. "I need some air, I'm going outside and to get a coffee. I'll be back soon." He leaned down and kissed her cheek and quickly left the room. There was another knock at the door. This time Cristina appeared again.

"Is it time for more tests already?" Meredith asked, an exasperated sigh leaving her lips. Cristina shook her head. "May I?" she asked, gesturing to the empty seat Finn had left. Meredith nodded.

"Look, I don't normally do this, it's really not me, but … I heard some raised voices in here and I was wondering, well, are you alright?" Cristina asked, peering at Meredith for a reaction. "Because, if you're not.. I could.. maybe, talk to him or something for you? Like, give him a medical point of view?"

"Dr Yang, I appreciate your concern, but I can manage him." Meredith said, and then she smiled. "Plus, I always get my way with him."

Cristina smiled a genuine smile at her. There was something about Meredith that people found compelling: despite the fact she was sick, there was something positive about her which gave people hope. She was a determined character, but also warm and caring. And that smile…

-  
Meredith turned over in her bed - it was 10pm and Finn had gone home to get a good night's sleep. He had cover in his vet's surgery so working wasn't an issue, but he'd been by Meredith's side all day and the night before and it was starting to take it's toll. A nurse came in to fill her water jug and rearrange her pillows.

"Excuse me, is Dr Shepherd still on duty?" Meredith asked, sitting up. The nurse nodded. "Could you possibly page him? I've made a decision about my treatment." The nurse nodded again and left the room. Meredith picked up a magazine she'd been brought and flicked through it until Dr Shepherd appeared at the door.

"Meredith?" he asked, entering her room and picking up her charts. She laughed. "What's so funny?"

"The amount of times you people look at those charts, constantly filling things in. It's amazing there's so much to know…" Meredith trailed off. "I'm sorry, I'm babbling. I've made a decision."

Derek sat down on the empty chair beside her bed. "And that is?"

"I want the surgery. I'm going to fight this, I want more than 5-6 years Dr Shepherd." Meredith said, looking him straight in the eye.

"You understand all the risks involved with this particular surgery?" he asked. Meredith nodded and reached for his hand. As she squeezed it, Derek felt a rush of something shooting through his body and his stomach jumped again. "I trust you, Dr Shepherd."

Derek couldn't speak, he had to get out of the room. He pulled his hand away and stood up. "It's late, you should get some sleep. I'll be back tomorrow to discuss surgery further." He left the room and leaned against the wall, his heart pounding. At that moment the Chief walked past and stopped and looked at Derek. "Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Derek shook his head and stood up straight. "I'm fine Richard, just fine."

"Well your wife was looking for you about 5 minutes ago." Richard replied.

"My wife." Derek repeated, nodding. He headed off down the corridor and repeated, "my wife" softly to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

"Derek!" a female voice wafted through the door. Derek smiled - he liked that voice. It called again, this time more urgently. "Derek!" Derek sighed and rolled out of bed, his feet touching the cold floor making him grimace. He left the room and headed downstairs and through to the kitchen. The female turned to look at him as he entered and smiled. She nodded towards the steaming cup of coffee, which was resting beside a bowl of muesli and a newspaper. Derek walked around the counter and slipped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. "You," he mumbled softly. "You, are the perfect wife." She turned round to face him and wound her arms around his neck. "I know." she replied, smiling at him. Derek's stomach flipped as it always did when she smiled at him like that. "And you," she continued. "You are the perfect vet."

-  
Derek opened his eyes with a start. He looked at the clock beside his bed - it was only 3am. He looked to the woman beside him - she was still fast asleep. Derek sat up and quietly slipped out of bed and out of the room. He padded along the corridor to the bathroom, where he went straight to the sink and filled it with cold water. He splashed his face several times and then studied his face in the mirror - he had been dreaming about Meredith. And not only about Meredith, Meredith being his wife. He didn't know what was going on - he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Meredith since she had arrived in the hospital. "It's just the surgery," he told himself. "You're thinking about the surgery, and she's getting the surgery." He splashed his face one more time and then dried it. He headed back towards the bedroom and climbed back into bed, putting his arms around his wife.

-  
Finn paced up and down, every so often stopping to ask at the desk if Dr Shepherd had arrived yet. Every time he was told the same answer, that no he hadn't, but he should be arriving shortly. Finn continued to pace and then tried to sit down but found he couldn't sit still. Finally, he saw Dr Shepherd approaching and ran over to him.

"Dr Shepherd, do you have a minute?" he asked.

"Sure, shall we go to Meredith's room or…?" Derek responded. Finn shook his head so Derek led him to an empty room and closed the door. "Is everything alright?"

Finn was again pacing up and down the floor, his hand to his mouth. He looked deep in thought. "You can't perform the surgery on her!" he suddenly said. "I've seen the way you look at her."

Derek was taken aback. "You have?"

"Yeah, like she's…like …like she's going to die." Finn said, finally stopping his pacing and turning to face Derek. "You can't let her die. I love her and I don't want you to take this, this risk!"

Derek shook his head. "She's made her decision she wants this surgery, and I have to go with what the patient wants."

"I'm her fiancé! Does that mean nothing?! Don't I get a say in this?" Finn asked, getting angry.

Derek took a deep breath and stepped back. "It's Meredith's choice." he said simply.

"What if she dies? What then, eh? I'm left alone, and I've lost her forever." Finn replied.

Derek clenched his fist. His voice was slightly shaky when he spoke. "If she doesn't have this surgery you'll lose her in about 5 or 6 years. Is that what you want? You can't be selfish and want her not to have the surgery just so you might get an extra few years. If this surgery is successful, you can have forever. Don't you get that? Stop being so bloody selfish, and be grateful you even have her at all!"

Finn stopped pacing and looked in shock at Derek. Derek rubbed his face and then turned and left the room. He headed straight to the on-call room, closed the door, and kicked the bed in frustration. He winced at the pain and collapsed down onto the bed, banging his head against the wall. "Get a grip, Shepherd," he said to himself. "She's a patient. She's a bloody patient." The door opened and Dr Sloane walked in.

"Were you talking to yourself?" he asked. "Derek, you're a neurosurgeon, it's not a good sign if you're talking to yourself…" he laughed.

Derek stopped hitting his head on the wall. "Can I trust you?" he asked, turning to his friend.

Mark laughed again and went and sat down beside Derek. "Of course you can Derek, what's going on?".

"Have you…have you ever had, have you ever had feelings for someone you shouldn't have them for?" Derek asked.

Mark nodded. "Plenty of times. It's got me in a lot of trouble in fact. So, who's the mystery person?"

"No-body," Derek said, standing up. "And don't tell Addison about this. It'll pass."

Mark shrugged and also stood up. "My lips are sealed. So, is it a nurse?"

Derek shook his head and left the room.

-  
Derek entered Meredith's room. She was asleep so he sat in the chair beside her, waiting for her to wake up. A strand of her hair and fallen across her face, so he gently brushed it away. As he did she started to stir and opened her eyes. "Hey," she said, her familiar smile firmly on her face. "Where's Finn?"

Derek stood up and picked up her charts. "I think he went home to get freshened up. I'm sure he'll be back soon. Anyway, I have some good news. We can get you into surgery tomorrow."

Meredith took a minute to take in this information. "That soon?"

Derek nodded. "The sooner we get in there the better."

Meredith nodded and lay back in her bed. "Dr Shepherd?"

Derek put down the chart and went to Meredith's side again. "Yes?"

"Dr Shepherd, I'm scared. I try to pretend I'm not, because Finn - I don't want him to be scared. If I die, or if there are complications and I lose my memory, I don't want him to be angry. He'll get angry, but he shouldn't. These things can happen. But I don't know how to tell him, because then he'll know I'm scared and he'll try and talk me out of it.. and…" Meredith broke off and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

Derek took her hand and squeezed it. "It's ok, it's understandable. But you need to tell Finn exactly how you feel. I promise you Meredith, I will do everything in that operating theatre that I can to get you back out here, like your old self."

Meredith nodded again. "I know you will - I trust you." She looked up at Derek and he looked straight into her eyes. He instantly regretted it - he was stuck. He couldn't pull away from her gaze and he still had her soft hand in his. The moment was broken when the door opened and Finn came in. "Dr Shepherd, could Meredith and I have a moment alone please?"

Derek composed himself and turned. "Of course, yes - of course." He hurried from the room and as he did he glanced back at Meredith. She was hugging Finn, but looking at Derek with a strange look on her face. But then she smiled at him and Derek smiled back before turning and continuing on his rounds.


	5. Chapter 5

Addison noticed Mark Sloane heading into a lift and hurried to catch up with him. She managed to get to the lift before the doors closed and stepped on. She was glad to see that she and Mark were alone.

"I'm glad I caught you." she said.

Mark raised his eyebrow and smiled at her. "Oh really?"

"Yeah, it's about Derek," she replied. "Has he been acting… odd recently?"

"Nope" was Mark's one word reply.

"Are you sure?" Addison asked, squinting at him.

"You're a beautiful woman Addison, would I lie to you?" Mark asked.

"I hope not. Hmm, well Derek's been acting so oddly recently - I've caught him talking to himself." Addison continued, biting her lip.

"That's quite hot when you bite your lip like that," Mark replied, tilting his head. "Are you sure you wanted me alone to talk about Derek?" he winked.

"Oh shut up, Sloane. Should've known you'd be no help." she said, as the lift came to a halt.

"You know, they call me McSteamy in this hospital." Mark said, winking again as he got off the lift. Addison shook her head laughing as the doors closed and she continued on her way.

* * *

"Ready?" Cristina asked as she lowered Meredith's bed in preparation to take her to surgery.

"As I'll ever be," Meredith replied. "Will you be in there too?"

"Oh I don't know, that's up to Dr Shepherd." Cristina replied. At that moment the door opened and Derek walked in. "Speak of the devil…"

"Were my ears burning?" Derek asked, laughing.

"I was just asking Cristina here if she'd be in the OR with me. I'd like it if she was." Meredith replied.

Derek nodded at Cristina. "Yang, looks like you're scrubbing in."

"Yes!" Cristina said, punching the air. "I mean, thank you sir, Dr Shepherd."

"Ok, are we all ready?" Derek asked, looking at his watch. "Cristina get Meredith to the OR, I'll meet you there." He left the room.

"Finn, we're going to be taking Meredith to the OR shortly, I'll give you two a minute." Cristina said, gathering up her notes and leaving the room.

Meredith put a reassuring hand on Finn's face. "Dr Shepherd is the best surgeon I could have, I'm going to be fine. I promise." Tears glistened in Finn's eyes as he leaned in to kiss her. Meredith pulled her engagement ring off her finger. "I can't wear it during surgery, you look after it."

Finn nodded and enclosed the ring in his hand. "Don't worry, I'll be back and I'll still be me, but…" Meredith trailed off.

Finn shook his head. "No, no buts…"

"Finn, if something does happen, I want you to be happy. Move on with your life, please. Make another woman as happy as you've made me." Meredith said, kissing him again.

Finn shook his head. "You're not going to die. And you're going to become my wife."

At that moment Cristina returned to take Meredith to the OR. As she was wheeled through the hospital corridors everything seemed to move in slow motion. Finn stood and watched her go, clutching the ring in his hand, tears running down his face. He remembered when he had first met her - she'd brought her dog in for treatment at his surgery, and they had hit it off. He had pursued her for a date and finally she had agreed. After 2 years of dating he finally worked up the nerve to propose and had been incredibly happy when she'd said yes. And then the headaches started. He hated seeing her in pain, he'd been so helpless when she was seizing. And now, she might never come back. He looked at the ring in his hand and smiled. She'd be fine, she'd promised.

As Meredith and Cristina reached the OR, the anaesthetist spoke to Meredith and explained what was going to happen. Cristina joined Derek in the scrub in room and prepared for the surgery. Meredith looked around her and she caught sight of Derek. He was wearing a scrub cap with ferry boats on it - she smiled. She knew she was in safe hands. Derek looked through the window and saw her and smiled back. Meredith felt a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Nerves, she told herself… Then the anaesthetist told her it was time and asked her to count backwards as she was injected.

"10, 9, 8, 7.…6.….5..." she trailed off as her eyes closed and she became oblivious to what was happening.

Everyone took their positions around her body and Derek and Cristina entered the room. Derek lifted the razor that had been placed near her head and started to shave off her blonde hair. He gently worked around her head until she was ready and then he took a deep breath, standing still looking at her peaceful face. Cristina looked at him expectantly and then looked at the scrub nurses.

"Dr Shepherd?" she prompted.

Derek jumped out of his trance. "Ok everyone, it's a beautiful day to save lives".

* * *

Twelve hours later Meredith was wheeled back to her room. Finn was sleeping awkwardly in the chair beside where her bed was, and he woke with a jump when he heard people coming in. "Is she…?" he asked.

"Dr Shepherd will be along in a moment to explain everything." Cristina smiled reassuringly at him. Derek soon arrived in the room and he shook Finn's hand.

"I managed to get rid of all the tumour," Derek started off. Finn grabbed him and hugged him. "But, until she wakes up we won't know if there are any negative effects such as memory loss or any damage. It's impossible to tell at this stage. I should also tell you that she crashed in theatre, but we managed to get her back very quickly."

Cristina looked up from the notes she had been making, remembering the moment vividly. She had noticed the fear in Derek's eyes as Meredith's SATs had dropped and her pulse had slowed. They had called a code blue with Derek cursing under his breath. He had been shouting at the nurses to hurry up and when they had got her back she had noticed colour flood his mostly obscured cheeks. He had taken a minute and stepped back from the table, rotating his shoulders and stretching the muscles in his neck. Then she had heard him muttering "pull yourself together" before stepping back up to the table and resuming his surgery. Cristina had never seen him get so worked up over a patient before.

Finn nodded. "When will she wake up?"

"It's impossible to know, but we'll keep her monitored overnight. She's heavily sedated at the minute, it was a big surgery so we want to give her body time to recover. If you have any questions, please ask. But she won't be waking overnight so if you want to go home and change and come back in the morning, you won't miss anything." Derek said.

Finn nodded again and shook Derek's hand. "Thank you again, Dr Shepherd."

Derek smiled and he and Cristina left the room. He saw Addison walking towards him so he told Cristina to go and check on other patients.

"Hey," he said, smiling at her. "Looking for me?"

"Full of yourself?" Addison replied laughing. "Time for coffee?"

Derek nodded and the pair of them headed off to get coffee. They found a table to sit down at and Addison reached across the table and took hold of Derek's hands.

"Are you alright? You've seemed quite distanced or distracted recently." Addison said.

Derek squeezed her hands reassuringly. "I'm fine. Why do people keep asking?"

"We're just worried, that's all. Well as long as you're happy." Addison said, removing her hands to take a sip of her coffee. She then proceeded to tell Derek about a difficult case she had. Derek was listening, but then he noticed Finn leaving the hospital. He watched him leave, get into a car and drive off. Derek's thoughts then shifted to Meredith - he didn't want her to be alone.

"Derek?" Addison asked.

"What, yes, sorry?" Derek looked apologetically at her.

"You've not been listening to a word I've been saying have you?" Addison asked, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry - I have a patient I need to go check on. See you later." he kissed her roughly on the cheek as he rushed off. Addison sighed, stood up and went back to work.


	6. Chapter 6

It was the next morning and Finn had returned to the hospital bright and early, repositioning himself beside Meredith as she slept. When he had arrived Cristina had been in the room, even before her shift had started. Meredith had still not woken up after being sedated so he had taken her hand gently in his, and was stroking it absentmindedly when he realised that he still had her engagement ring. Putting a hand into his pocket he drew it out and slipped it carefully back onto her ring finger, smiling as it returned to where it should be. He hoped that if she woke up it would help her remember if she was having problems. Not knowing how long it would be until she woke up, he lifted a magazine out of his bag and started reading it, tapping his fingers on the chair. Finn lifted his eyes from his magazine and looked at Meredith again - she looked so peaceful. This time though her eyes flickered as if she was about to wake up. Finn dropped her hand and stood up, watching as Meredith opened her eyes fully and looked around her. "Derek?" she said, her voice croaky.

Disconcerted, Finn squeezed her hand. "It's me, Finn. I'm here."

"Finn," she said smiling. "I'm alive."

Finn smiled back at her. "Yes you are. Let me go get a doctor."

Finn rushed out of the room and ran straight into Derek. Concern filled the neurosurgeon's eyes as he sensed the urgency the other man had. "Finn, what is it? Is something wrong?"

Finn shook his head. "No, no Meredith's woken up!" he replied, grinning and beckoning the doctor into the room.

Derek followed Finn, and Meredith smiled at them both. "Good morning. Can you tell me your name?" Derek asked, approaching the bed.

"Meredith Grey. You're Dr Derek Shepherd, this is my fiancé Finn, he's a vet." Meredith smiled knowingly at Derek.

Derek turned to Finn. "You didn't tell her any of this?"

Finn shook his head, a huge grin planted firmly on his face. Derek picked up Meredith's chart and filled in something. "Well, this is great news. What was the first thing she said when she woke up?"

Finn turned away from Derek to look at Meredith, then he looked back again. "She said Finn."

Derek nodded and wrote it down. He then went over to the other side of Meredith's bed, and put a hand on her forehead and shone a torch into her eyes. Her skin tingled beneath his touch.

"Well, everything looks great here. But you have just had major surgery so will need to rest. We will keep you in for observation for a few days, ok?" Derek asked, signing the charts.

Both Meredith and Finn nodded and Derek left the room. Finn told Meredith he would be back in a minute and followed Derek.

"Dr Shepherd, the first thing a patient says when they wake up - is it important?" Finn asked, playing with his hands and trying to avoid looking straight at Derek.

"Well, when there is a risk of brain damage, the first thing a person says when waking up is obviously very important as it indicates the problem, if there is one. But, if there is no damage, as is the case with Meredith, then the first thing they say is normally something they were thinking about subconsciously. So, she said your name, so you're obviously most important in her subconscious," Derek replied. "I have other patients to see, I'll be back later" he said, patting Finn's arm before he set off down the corridor.

Finn nodded and watched as Derek walked away. He looked back into Meredith's room - Cristina had entered without him realising and was sitting on the edge of the bed chatting to Meredith. They were laughing. Finn walked away, needing some space and time to think - she had said Derek.

* * *

Finn finally reappeared a few hours later. He entered Meredith's room and sat down beside her bed.

"Hey," she said softly as he kissed her cheek. "Where have you been?"

"I just went home for a bit, brought you some bits and pieces." he held up a bag. "It's been a big day, just needed some time away from this hospital."

Meredith nodded in understanding. "I can't wait to get out of here myself."

"Really?" Finn asked.

Meredith turned to look at him. "Yes - it's a hospital. I hardly enjoy being here…"

"Won't you miss Dr Shepherd?" Finn asked, a slight bitterness to his voice. "Or Cristina?"

"I'll be back for check-ups. Plus, me and Cristina have really hit it off, I think we're going to stay friendly after this." Meredith said, resting her head back and staring at the ceiling.

"And what about Dr Shepherd?" Finn pressed.

"What about him?" Meredith asked in reply, sighing and looking straight at Finn.

"Won't you miss him?" Finn asked. "I'm sure he'll miss you…"

"For god's sake Finn," Meredith's voice rose. "He's my doctor, he saved my life. I'm eternally grateful, but am I supposed to become so attached to him that I can't leave the hospital because I might miss him?! He's a doctor, Finn, I'm his patient. I've seen plenty of doctors, he has plenty of patients, I'm not going to miss him and he's not going to miss me. Ok?"

At that minute Derek walked through the door. "Is there shouting going on in here? Meredith's supposed to be resting, she's just had major surgery…"

Finn stood up. "Oh good, _Dr McDreamy_ is here to tell me off. It is ok that I call you that, doctor? Everyone else seems to. Well here you go, I have a present for you. You can look after my fiancé, because you're obviously much more capable than I am. After all, I am just a vet." Finn lifted his coat and headed towards the door of the room. "Oh, and by the way she didn't say Finn when she woke up, she said Derek."

And with that final statement Finn turned and left the room. Meredith had a look of shock on her face and her cheeks had flushed pink, while Derek's was filled with shock and concern, with a small smile playing on his lips. _Had she really said his name?_

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. I don't know what has got into him - it must be the pressure of everything" Meredith said, covering her face with her hands.

"Hey, hey it's alright." he said putting a hand on her shoulder and rubbing it gently. "I get plenty of abuse from patient's families. I'm sure he'll come round once he's had time to cool down a bit." Derek said, smiling reassuringly at her. She smiled back and he turned to leave the room.

"Dr Shepherd," she called after him. "I did say Derek when I woke up, but it was only because you were operating on me. You were the last person I saw before I went under. Obviously that's the reason, isn't it?"

Derek smiled. "Obviously." he said as he left the room, his heart beating faster than usual.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: Thank you for all of your comments! This chapter was not in the original write up but after reading some of your comments I was inspired to write this. Hope you continue to enjoy the story - it has a long way to go :)_

* * *

Meredith was sitting up in bed reading a book when she noticed Derek walk past the door of her room. "Dr Shepherd!" she called, hoping he would hear her. He did as he soon appeared peering around her door expectantly. Meredith noticed that he was no longer in his scrubs and instead was wearing a dark jumper over a shirt and jeans. He had a coat tucked under his arm and was carrying a briefcase. "Oh, I'm sorry, have I caught you at a bad time?" she asked, setting her book down.

He shook his head. "My shift is over, but if you need to talk to me, I am happy to stay. May I?" he asked, pointing at the empty chair. She nodded in response and he sat down, draping his coat over the arm and setting his briefcase down beside it. "I know this is none of my business, but I can't help but notice that Finn is still not here…"

"No," Meredith replied, shaking her head. "He hasn't come back yet. I am so sorry, once again, for his outburst. He's not normally like that!"

Derek smiled reassuringly at her. "Honestly, I'm used to it. Emotions run high, doctors become the target," he said, laughing. "I hope you're ok though?"

"I'm just mortified," Meredith replied, blushing slightly. "And because I said your name when I woke up, I can't imagine what that must have looked like".

Derek smiled at this. He had been surprised at Finn's outburst but that particular part had stuck with him. Maybe he wasn't the only one with the weird feeling…

"Anyway, I called you in here because I just wanted to apologise again, I felt so awful," Meredith continued. "I hope you'll forgive Finn and not let it reflect badly on him…on me."

"Why would it reflect badly on you?" Derek asked.

Meredith shrugged and smiled at him. "You can leave now if you want, I've said all I wanted to say."

"Well, if you would like the company, I don't mind staying…" Derek replied, reluctant to get up and leave. Meredith bit her lip.

"If you wouldn't mind," she said, readjusting herself in the bed so she turned to face him more. He smiled at her and she smiled back. "So, life as a neurosurgeon, what is that like?"

Meredith listened intently as he explained some of the more complicated procedures he had performed, the risks involved, and how he had successfully come out the other side. He then took a scrunched piece of paper out of his pocket and smoothed it out before reaching for a pen. He drew something on it.

"This is your brain," he said, smiling and pointing at the drawing with his pen. Meredith grinned back and nodded. Derek put the point of his pen down on the page so it left just a little dot. "This was your tumour."

"It was that small?" Meredith asked, looking between the dot and Derek's face. He nodded.

"That small," he replied. "So, as you can imagine, quite tricky to reach. But when we opened you up, we went this way…"

Meredith listened, her mouth open in amazement as Derek described the way he had removed her tumour. When he had finished she let out a sigh.

"That is amazing," she said, looking up at him and shaking her head in bemusement. "You are amazing!"

"Thank you," Derek replied. "All in a day's work".

Meredith laughed at the lack of modesty. But then, why should he be modest? He had performed a difficult surgery and saved her life.

"What does your wife do?" Meredith asked. "If that's not too personal, I'm sorry."

Derek felt disappointed that Addison had been brought into the conversation, but he tried not to let it show. "She's a neonatal surgeon - the best in the country, in fact probably one of the best in the world"

"Wow," Meredith replied. "A world class brain surgeon and a world class neonatal surgeon - that is some couple!"

"Hey," Derek replied laughing. "Not as good as a vet and a… I'm sorry, I don't know what you do"

"I flit," Meredith replied, looking sheepish. "I guess you could say, I haven't quite found the career for me yet."

"No point doing something you're not happy doing," Derek replied. "Nothing wrong with flitting"

"Maybe I'll start making hats," Meredith replied, waving her hand near her head. "Need something to keep my head warm until my hair grows back".

"I'm sorry about that," Derek said. "I'm afraid when it comes to working with the brain, the hair has to go. You had very nice hair."

"Not as nice as yours," Meredith replied, indicating Derek's perfect hair, when he was often complimented about. He looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"No, you're alright," he said, shaking his head. "It gets talked about a lot, I get called McDreamy, as you know, it's a bit embarrassing in general really. I'm not that special"

"Well, I can see why you're called McDreamy… the hair, the eyes, the…" Meredith broke off as she realised what she was saying and she flushed a deep shade of pink.  
"Seems I do nothing but embarrass myself in front of you."

"Don't worry about it," he said, although inside his heart was pounding. Surely it wasn't just him who felt this way. They were definitely flirting, there was a tension in the room, he felt it. Why was he doing this? He looked at his watch and his eyes widened. They had been talking for two hours, yet it had felt like only five minutes.  
Meredith had also noticed this.  
"I'm so sorry if I ruined any plans you may have had," Meredith said. "I didn't realise the time passing so quickly."

"I had no plans, you ruined nothing," he replied, smiling. "So, with Finn being a vet and all, what's your favourite animal?"

* * *

An hour later, Derek looked at his watch again. It was 9pm.

"I'm sorry, but it's probably time I left. Plus, you need your sleep," he said, starting to gather up his things.

"Thank you for staying to chat," Meredith replied, laying her head back on her pillow. "I really appreciated the company, and learning all about my surgery was pretty cool. Do you do this for all your patients?"

Derek shook his head as he put on his coat. "Just the ones who say my name when they wake up… so just you" he said, laughing. Meredith blushed again.

"It's not my fault," she exclaimed. "You were there when I was being put under, and I was disorientated when I woke up…" she smiled up at him. At that moment there was a tap in the door and Finn appeared.

"I'm not disturbing anything am I?" he asked, hovering around the entrance to the room.

"I was just leaving," Derek replied, heading towards the door before there was another outburst.

"I wanted to apologise for earlier," Finn said, holding out a hand to Derek. "I was an ass, there was no need for what I did, and no excuse. I hope you can forgive me."

Derek nodded and shook the outstretched hand. "Goodnight," he said, nodding at the pair of them, and smiling at Meredith as he left the room. Meredith watched him go and then turned her attention to Finn.

* * *

Derek looked at his phone as he walked out to his car and noticed he had several missed calls from Addison. This was understandable, of course, as it was three and a half hours after his shift had ended and he had effectively disappeared. He also had a text from her saying that Mark had given her a lift home. He got to his car and put his briefcase on the passenger chair before getting into the driver's side. He rested his head back against the headrest, and put his hands on the steering wheel, letting out a long sigh. Talking to Meredith had been so easy and he hadn't wanted the time he had spent with her to end. But unfortunately it had, and she was due to be discharged soon meaning that she would be leaving the hospital, a thought Derek did not like at all.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I couldn't wait to share this chapter with you all! Thank you once again for the continued support :)_

* * *

When Derek had arrived home he had found Mark's car still in the driveway. Inside Addison was curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine in her hand, her legs draped over Mark who was sitting at the end of the sofa with a beer in his hand.

"Ah, he's alive!" Addison exclaimed as Derek entered the room, lifting her wine glass up above her head as a salute.

"This is very cosy," Derek replied, gesturing at the pair of them. "Hope I'm not disturbing anything."

"Mark was just keeping me company until you arrived back," Addison replied, sitting up and stretching. "It's four hours after your shift!"

"Yeah, well I had things to do," Derek replied, going through to the kitchen and lifting himself a beer out of the fridge. "Sorry."

"Well now that he has returned, I'll be off," Mark said, standing up and putting his coat on.

"How much have you had to drink?" Derek asked, returning from the kitchen. "Should you be driving?"

"I just had a few sips," Mark replied, shaking his half full bottle of beer in Derek's face. "I'll be fine."

Derek nodded and Mark took this as his signal to leave. He waved at the pair of them and left the house.

"So what things did you have to do?" Addison asked.

"I was behind with some paperwork," Derek replied. "I'm sorry, I should have told you."

"It's alright, it happens," Addison replied, smiling and standing up. She kissed Derek on the cheek. "I'm going to bed, see you up there"

Derek said goodnight and continued to sip on his beer. He couldn't help but wish he was still at the hospital.

* * *

It was a week after Meredith Grey had been discharged from the hospital. Derek arrived in the hospital early for his shift, because today was the day Meredith was due back for a check-up. Addison had been amused as Derek had got up early, and had heard him singing in the shower. He had hummed all the way to work in the car, and had a slight spring in his step.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Addison asked, as Derek locked the car and they walked into the hospital.

"Can't a man just be in a good mood without a reason? It's a beautiful day," he concluded. "I'm just happy."

Addison smiled at him. This happy Derek made a change from the Derek she had been living with for the past two weeks - he had been moody, and acting strangely: talking to himself and being snappy when she asked what was wrong. They kissed as they did every morning and went their separate ways to work. Derek got himself his usual cup of coffee and sauntered to the board to check how his surgeries looked for the day.

"Morning Derek," the Chief called as he walked past him. "How are you today?"

"I am very well thank you Chief," Derek replied. "Very well indeed."

Derek spotted Cristina at the other side of the corridor, deep in conversation with her boyfriend Preston Burke. He walked towards her. "Dr Yang!" he called. Burke said goodbye and headed off. Cristina turned to face Derek. "Dr Shepherd?"

"Meredith Grey is due for a check up today, is that correct?" Derek asked, trying to sound casual.

Cristina nodded slowly. "That is correct, Dr Shepherd."

"When she arrives, page me. I'd like to do the consult myself if that's alright." Derek said.

"You're the boss," Cristina replied. "I'll page you when she arrives."

"Thank you, Dr Yang. Would you like to scrub in in another surgery with me today?" he asked.

Cristina's face lit up. "I'm already doing one with Burke, but if it's at a different time then yes please! Oh, two surgeries in one day - the others are going to be SO jealous…" she laughed to herself as she headed off.

* * *

"Everything is looking good here," Derek said to his patient, nodding his head as he finished reading the notes. He set them down as he felt his pager vibrate "Dr Stevens will be around shortly to discharge you".

As he left the room he looked at his pager and noticed it was Cristina. He slowed as he approached the intern as he saw her talking to Meredith. Cristina was telling Meredith something and she was listening intently, smiling and nodding. As he got closer to the two women Meredith noticed him first, and her smile widened as she looked up at him. The pang in his stomach returned as he remembered what her smile could do to him. As he reached them he held out his hand to Meredith.

"Hello, Meredith." he said, shaking it. She smiled directly at him.

"Good morning, Dr Shepherd. Where do you want me?" she asked.

Derek pointed towards an empty consult room and he followed her there, picking up her chart on the way. He closed the door and indicated to Meredith that she should sit on the bed. He studied the chart and as he did he said, "so no Finn today?"

Meredith shook her head. "He had vet stuff to do. Did I mention, he runs his own vet surgery?"

Derek laughed. "No, you didn't. That's very impressive. So, any headaches, black-outs, seizures the past week?"

"Nope, nothing at all. I've been feeling fine." Meredith replied. "Thanks to you!"

"I like your hair by the way." Derek added.

She had picked out a wig that was almost exactly like her old style.

Meredith flicked it mockingly and laughed. "Thank you. I meant to say, I liked your cap when you were performing my surgery."

"I have a thing for ferry boats," Derek said, almost proudly, his eyes twinkling. "One of the reasons I moved here."

Meredith laughed again. "You didn't mention that the other night…" she said.

"Didn't I?" Derek asked, remembering the night. They had discussed so much it all blurred into one. He removed a torch from his pocket. "Ok, can you close your right eye please, and I'm just going to rest my hand on your forehead, is that alright?"

"Yup," Meredith replied, nodding. Derek placed his hand carefully on her forehead, his skin tingling as it touched hers. He shone the light into her left eye and then repeated it for the right. His face was so close to hers, if he just leaned in slightly he could kiss her. At that thought he pulled away. She was a patient, he couldn't think these thoughts about her. He then took her temperature and checked her blood pressure.

"Well, I'm pleased to say everything looks great." Derek said, standing up. Meredith also stood up.

"Well, I'm very pleased to hear that!" Meredith replied. "So, will I need to come back for any more check ups?"

Derek shook his head. "We'll need you back at 6 months post surgery, but until then - unless you suffer any symptoms in the meantime, we'll not see you."

Derek noticed that Meredith looked slightly disappointed by this. A strand of her hair fell in front of her face again and he felt compelled to brush it away, as she didn't touch it. He reached out and gently brushed it away. She looked up at him expectantly. Derek felt like there were voices in his head chanting "kiss her, kiss her, kiss her". They were so close, he just had to lean down and their lips would be touching. She put a hand on his face. "Thank you for everything, Dr Shepherd. You saved my life." She leaned up to kiss his cheek, but at the last minute he turned his face so she caught his lips. She pulled away embarrassed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry…" she mumbled.

"Are you?" he asked, looking intently at her.

She paused for a minute before shaking her head, and they both slowly leaned in. This time their lips met intentionally and something shot through Derek's body. He felt alive, like kissing her was the most important thing in the world. Her body sank into his and his hands moved from her face, down her back, pulling her closer to him. When they finally pulled apart neither spoke.

"That was wrong, on so many levels," Derek said breaking the silence. He noticed Meredith's face drop. "But so right in every way."

"I'm sorry, you're married, I'm engaged, you're my doctor… oh my god, I kissed my doctor. Oh, you could get in a lot of trouble, I'm so sorry." Meredith started pulling on her coat and picking up her belongings, obviously flustered. She headed towards the door.

"Meredith…" Derek called after her. She stopped and turned round and both looked at each other for a split second, before Derek was pulling her towards him again, kissing her softly. He stopped when she pushed him away.

"We can't do this," she said, putting a hand on his chest to ensure he stayed away. "I love Finn, I barely know you. You're my doctor."

Derek sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but…"

Before he could finish his sentence Meredith had opened the door and she was looking at him, her eyes full of regret and confusion. She then turned and started to walk down the corridor. "Meredith, wait…"

She stopped in her tracks, sighing heavily and putting her hands in her pocket. She turned round to face him once again. Derek pulled a card from his pocket and extended his arm to give her it. "If you ever need me," he said, holding a hand up as she shook her head. "If you ever need me medically." She took the card, her fingers brushing with his as she did. She tucked it inside her bag and walked off as Derek stood watching her go. What had just happened?


	9. Chapter 9

(Two weeks later)

Meredith pushed the door of Joe's Bar open. She had arranged to meet Cristina for a drink after Cristina had finished her shift. The room was crowded so she pushed her way through to the bar and ordered herself an orange juice. As she sipped it she looked around, hoping that her friend would turn up soon. She then heard her name being called and she eventually spotted Cristina sitting at a small table in the corner of the room. Meredith waved and lifted her drink, navigating her way through the crowds of people.

"I couldn't see you," Meredith said taking a seat at the table. "Have you been here long?"

Cristina shook her head. "So, how are you feeling? That's non-alcoholic I hope!"

"I'm feeling good, and of course it is. If I'd known you were here to doctor me, I wouldn't have come.." Meredith laughed.

Cristina smiled apologetically. "So no headaches or anything?"

"Nothing at all," Meredith replied, sipping her drink. "It's so good to feel…normal again"

"Well that's Dr Shepherd's magic for you," Cristina said, drinking her own drink. As she said it she didn't notice that Meredith had blushed slightly.

_That wasn't his only magic_, Meredith thought to herself. After the kiss Meredith had felt confused. Yeah, she had found Derek attractive but hadn't realised she felt something for him, but the kiss had confirmed she did feel something. She had not been able to get him out of her head since that day, and felt guilty every time Finn kissed or touched her. The card that Derek had given her still lay somewhere at the bottom of her bag, but she hadn't looked at it. It was just a stupid crush, she had decided, heightened by the fact he had saved her life. It was nothing more than that.

* * *

At the hospital Derek had just finished his shift and stepped into the lift. As the lift reached the next floor he was joined by his wife, who was quickly followed by Mark Sloane.

"Derek, Addison and I were thinking of heading to Joe's for a drink, you fancy coming?" Mark asked.

"Oh I don't know, I would quite like to get home." Derek replied, running a hand through his hair.

"Please Derek - it's been a long week, it would be nice to relax." Addison responded.

"We can relax at home…" Derek said.

Addison turned to face Derek and kissed him and then proceeded to give him her 'sad eyes'.

"Oh please…" Mark rolled his eyes. "If you're going to do that, I don't want to come."

"Fine, ok. One drink" Derek said, sighing in exasperation. Addison clapped her hands in delight and Mark gave a sarcastic "woo". The three of them headed across the road to Joe's and pushed the door open. It was crowded and Derek groaned. They pushed their way through to the bar and found Preston Burke sitting alone.

"Burke, didn't know you were coming," Derek commented. "Where's Cristina?"

Burke turned and pointed vaguely into the crowd. Derek glanced around but couldn't see her or any of the other interns. Mark handed him a drink which he then took a sip of.

"She's over there with a friend, I think she was a patient of yours Derek - Meredith something" Burke said.

Derek choked on his drink. "Sorry," he turned apologetically to Addison who he'd managed to spill some of it onto. "Meredith's here?" Burke nodded and Derek set his drink down, trying to get a view through the crowds of people. Mark pointed over to an empty table and the four of them headed over to it. As they chatted Derek couldn't stop thinking about Meredith, not when she was so close. He stood up making his excuses and made his way through the crowd, looking for her or Cristina. He soon spotted them in the corner.

"Cristina, Meredith - hi," he said as he approached the table. "Burke mentioned you were here."

Meredith looked up shyly at him and smiled. "Dr Shepherd." she said, simply.

"Please, call me Derek. I'm not on duty at the minute." Derek said.

"Thank god you're here, I really need to pee but didn't want to leave Meredith alone. Could you…?" Cristina asked, waving at the empty chair and dashing off into the crowd.

"I'll come…" Meredith started but it was too late as Cristina was too far away to hear. Derek sat down in the vacant seat and started playing with a coaster sitting on the table.

"So, you haven't called me," Derek said, looking up to Meredith, his eyes sparkling.

"You said I was to call you if I needed you," Meredith replied, shrugging. "I didn't need you."

Derek sighed and leaned in slightly. "Meredith, from the morning I walked into your hospital room, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I have a wife, who I love, but it's different. She doesn't make me feel the way you do."

"You barely know me," Meredith replied, looking at Derek for the first time since he'd sat down. "You meet me, you save my life, and then you think…what? That I'll just fall for your good looks and perfect hair? You're a married man, I don't want to be your dirty mistress"

"Ouch," Derek replied. "That hurt, Miss Grey. Who says I want a dirty mistress? But you are right, I did expect to win you over with my perfect hair…"

Meredith couldn't help but smile as she shrugged, tucking her own hair behind her ears. "I have Finn. I have been with Finn for two years, I love Finn, I'm going to marry Finn."

"That's a lot of Finn," Derek replied, letting out a whistle. "Look, I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone - I hope you and Finn are very happy together. But tell me this... it is not just me feeling like this?"

Meredith looked up at him, straight into his eyes and put her hand over his. "I..." she started but then spotted Cristina coming back through the crowd. She quickly removed her hand, looking at him in a strange way - like she had just noticed him properly for the first time. As Cristina reached the table he stood up. "I'll see you around Meredith, Dr Yang."

"I hope so." she replied.

Cristina nodded then turned her attention to Meredith. "I hate peeing in public places. They're so dirty and eugh. Anyway, what were you and Dr Shepherd talking about?".

* * *

Meredith put her key in the lock and let herself into her house. "Finn?" she called. She heard him upstairs so she headed on up. He was lying curled up on their bed reading, so she went and lifted his arm and cuddled up under it.

"Good time?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.

Meredith nodded. "How was work?"

"Busy, the usual. Listen, a couple of the guys were talking about going on a fishing trip this weekend and they've invited me along. I won't go if you want me to stay here, I don't want to leave you if you don't feel comfortable." Finn said, stroking hair away from her neck.

Meredith fidgeted so she could turn round to face him. "I'll be fine, you can go. It's only for a couple of days right? And if I need anyone, I'm sure there will be someone around." She leaned in to kiss him. He smiled at her and kissed her again, then he got up and went through to the bathroom. Meredith got up off the bed and went to find her handbag. She rustled around in the bottom of it before her fingers found the crinkled discarded card. She played with it for a bit before picking up her phone and quickly typing a message. When she had done so, she hovered between sending it or deleting it. She finally pressed a button as Finn came back into the room, put her phone away and climbed into bed. "I'll be just fine." she told him before settling herself for the night.

* * *

Derek was just about to get into bed when he heard his phone go off. Thinking it might be something from work, he went to get it and discovered he had a message from an unknown number. Confused, he opened it:

_Maybe I do need you_

It wasn't signed but he knew who it was from. He read the message a few more times before turning off his phone and tucking it away. He then went and got into bed, waiting for Addison to join him. She finally returned to the bedroom and turned off the light. As she stumbled to bed in the dark she walked into the bedside table.

"Son of a…" she yelled in pain, as Derek was jolted from his thoughts. He felt Addison slip into bed beside him and she cuddled up to him, as she did every night, and he absent-mindedly put an arm around her. "Goodnight". He kissed the top of her head and then rolled over. The image of Meredith and the smile she had given him in Joe's filled his head. He needed to try and forget her - his job, his marriage and his reputation could be ruined if anything was ever found out. But he had pursued her. He had gone to find her in the bar, he had professed his feelings._ Idiot_, he thought to himself. He had no need to contact or see her - maybe that way he could get rid of the feelings. He sighed and tried to get to sleep, and slipped into an uneasy sleep where he could think about one person, and one person only.


	10. Chapter 10

(Song lyrics in italics are Ain't No Sense in Love by Take That)

* * *

"And you are sure you're going to be alright? It's not too late to change your mind.." Finn said. He had loaded up his car and was ready to head off on his fishing trip, but was starting to have last minute doubts about leaving Meredith alone.

She smiled reassuringly at him. "I'll be fine - plus I have all the emergency numbers you left me on the fridge. Me, the house and Doc will still be here in one piece when you get back - I promise".

"Ok, ok. I love you." he said, kissing her before going to get in his car. As he drove off Meredith waved and then went back inside the house. She went upstairs and flopped herself down onto her bed. Derek hadn't replied and it had been two days. She didn't know why she was disappointed, she had Finn. She didn't really want to have an affair - she wasn't that person. Doc came into the room and lay down on the bed beside her.

"It's just because he was my doctor, he saved my life." Meredith said, stroking Doc's ears. "Don't look at me like that, it's the truth."

She continued to stroke him subconsciously, while staring up at the ceiling. That was the reason, wasn't it?

* * *

Derek spotted Addison walking down the corridor. He started to chase after her and eventually caught up.

"Derek, what are you doing?" Addison asked, as Derek grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the on-call room. When they were in there, Derek pulled her towards him and kissed her. After several minutes they pulled apart.

"What was that for?" Addison asked, looking shocked, but smiling.

"Is it a crime to kiss my wife?" Derek asked, leaning back against the bed. Addison smiled, and shook her head.

"It was just unexpected," she replied. "And I was on my way to see a patient!" she kissed him once more and left the room.

"Damnit!" Derek shouted once she'd gone, kicking the bed. Kissing Addison had not been like kissing Meredith. It was nice, but it didn't give him the same rush, he didn't feel like it was the most important thing ever with Addison. He had tried numerous times since his kiss with Meredith, even adding an element of spontaneity to see if it changed things. "Derek, you are an idiot."

"Talking to yourself again, Dr Shepherd?" Mark asked as he entered the room.

Derek glared at him and left the on-call room. He went to reception and asked for a patient's file. When he got it he flicked through it quickly, found what he was looking for and handed it back. He had finished his shift and was just about to leave when he saw Mark again.

"Mark, tell Addison I had to go do something. I'll be home later." Derek called as he left the hospital. He jumped into his car and sped off.

_I'm afraid of the morning, I'm afraid of the light_  
_You should come with a warning, you should be wearing a sign._  
_Oh, this is your beautiful trouble, so you better beware_  
_One look and I was in right over my head._

He finally reached his destination. He got out of his car, slammed the door and walked up to the front door. He hesitated slightly before knocking, he knew he shouldn't be doing this. He knocked but there was no answer. So he knocked again. Then he heard someone come down the stairs and he saw Meredith approach the door. She noticed it was him, and stopped before reaching the door and unlocking it.

"I don't want a dirty mistress, I don't want to cheat on Addison, I don't want to get in trouble for kissing a patient, I don't want to get beaten up by the vet, but damnit Meredith Grey, I want you."

He put two hands on her face, looked into her eyes and then he kissed her.

_Oh this misery, there's no place on earth I'd rather be._  
_'Cause you're not the one I need, you're just the one that I want_  
_Makes perfect sense to me._  
_'Cause you're not the one I need, but you're the one that I want_  
_There ain't no sense in love._

He felt the same rush he'd felt before - he felt like Meredith completed him. He didn't want this to end. Meredith was pulling him inside the house and closing the door.

_I tried to stop myself, so many times_  
_But I keep falling over, I keep on crossing the line._  
_Oh, the heart of a gypsy, and the soul of a stone_  
_It's just a matter of time before you leave me alone._  
_Sweet misery, fill my heart up and pour it all over me._

Clothes were being discarded as they made their way up the stairs.

_'Cause you're not the one I need, you're just the one that I want_  
_Makes perfect sense to me._  
_'Cause you're not the one I need, but you're the one that I want_  
_There ain't no sense in love._

Meredith stopped at the top of the stairs. "Are you sure you want this?"

_It's not logical, that's the way I feel._  
_You travel underneath my skin, but it's hell out here._  
_There's no sense in love._

Derek brushed Meredith's hair back and held her face with both hands. He looked straight into her eyes. "I want nothing more." he said, before leaning in and kissing her again.

_'Cause you're not the one I need, you're just the one that I want_  
_Makes perfect sense to me._  
_'Cause you're not the one I need, but you're the one that I want_  
_There ain't no sense in love._

They finally reached the bedroom, and Meredith closed the door as they went inside.

* * *

Derek wandered down the stairs and into the living room where Meredith had directed him to go, buttoning his shirt up as he did. She had made him leave the room as she got changed, suddenly shy around him. He looked around and noticed some pictures on the mantelpiece. There was a picture of Meredith and a girl he didn't recognise. They looked similar so he assumed they were related, maybe her sister. Meredith was smiling - the smile that made him feel funny inside. He smiled as he looked at it. Beside it there was a picture of Meredith and Finn at a party. Derek picked it up. They were looking into each other's eyes grinning, seemingly oblivious to the camera.

"That was our engagement party," a voice behind him said, making him jump. He guiltily put the picture back on the mantelpiece and turned around. "It was a surprise"

"Who is this?" Derek asked, pointing at the picture of Meredith with the girl.

"That's Lexie," Meredith replied. "My sister."

Derek nodded and then moved to sit down.

"And this," Meredith said, picking up another picture of her and Finn. "This is the night he proposed. When he first asked me out, I said no," Meredith continued, smiling at the picture in her hand. "But he was persistent. So, I eventually relented, and turned out it was the best decision I ever made," she sighed, running her hand over Finn's face. "And then I go and do this."

At that she set the picture back down and went and sat opposite where Derek was sitting. Neither spoke for a while, but instead just looked at each other.

"I have been married for eleven years. I have never cheated on my wife, not even come close," Derek said, breaking the silence. "And then you came along."

"I'm sorry," Meredith replied. "I'm not the type of girl who cheats on her boyfriend - I may have been with a lot of guys, but I don't cheat. What are we going to do?"

Derek contemplated this for a minute. "We are two people in two happy relationships. We had a lapse of judgement, we made a mistake, but we shouldn't ruin those relationships. You are a very special woman, Meredith Grey, you're just not my special woman. I love my wife and you love Finn. We don't cheat."

"But we did just cheat," Meredith replied, tears stinging her eyes. "You came to my house…"

"I shouldn't have done that," Derek replied, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry, I truly am - it was a mistake"

Meredith shook her head in disbelief and stood up. "Get out," she said softly, roughly rubbing her eyes and trying to prevent herself from crying. "You perform life saving surgery on me, you flirt with me, you KISS me, and then you come to my house and we… and then all I…" she pointed towards the door. "Just get out."

"Meredith, I…" he said, standing up and moving towards her. She took a step back.

"You can't just USE people," Meredith retorted. "Now get out of my house."

"I didn't mean…" Derek replied but was cut off by Meredith stepping towards him, pushing him towards the door. "I'm sorry."

He stepped out onto the doorstep and turned to face Meredith again, but it was too late as she closed the front door. He heard it locking and he sighed walking back to his car. Inside Meredith had returned to the living room and curled up on the sofa, hugging a pillow close to her and finally letting the tears she had been fighting fall. She was beginning to think he had done something to her brain when he had operated, making her do stupid things like fall for his charms. Ever since the night they had talked in the hospital, she had felt a weird feeling inside her. Something she didn't even get talking to Finn. And then at her check up she had inadvertently kissed him which had turned into a real kiss. And tonight he had turned up on her doorstep and they had committed the ultimate betrayal. To top it all off, he had instantly called it a mistake. She jumped as the phone rang in the hall, interrupting her thoughts but she didn't have the heart to go and answer it. She heard the answering machine message and then a beep.

"Meredith, it's me. I just wanted to check you were OK. I'm sure you probably are and hate me for checking up on you. Just wanted you to know I love you. See you soon"

Good, sweet, Finn. He didn't deserve all this.

* * *

Outside Derek pulled over at the side of the road in his car. He had just cheated on his wife with a woman he barely knew, and then had told her it was a mistake. He hadn't meant to say it was a mistake, even though it was. He and Addison had been married for eleven years and he was risking throwing it all away for a woman he had known for just over a month. But he couldn't help but feel that maybe it had been worth it.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Sorry this chapter ended up so long and bitty - I just wanted to convey how Meredith and Derek are trying to get their lives back to normal after their encounter. _

* * *

Meredith was woken up by the sun streaming through a crack in the curtains onto her face. She rolled over expecting Finn to be there, but then remembered he was away for the weekend. She was struck by the smell on the pillow, it wasn't Finn. All the memories of the night before came flooding back and she groaned. She got out of bed and started to strip the bedding, taking it downstairs and putting it into the washing machine. While it whirled away, she went and showered and got dressed, before remaking the bed with fresh sheets. Back downstairs she picked up the dog's lead and called for Doc. He came bounding towards her and she fastened the lead to his collar, stroking his ears as she did.

"Come on Doc, let's go for a walk. I think we need to clear our heads, "Meredith said, opening the front door and heading out into the beautiful day. "It has been a crazy couple of days."

* * *

Addison marched purposefully through the halls of Seattle Grace Hospital. She reached the lifts and pressed impatiently on the button, waiting for one to appear.

"You know, that won't make it arrive any faster," a voice behind her caused her to jump. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Mark, do you stalk me around the hospital? Everywhere I go, there you are, just waiting to pounce." Addison replied, not turning around.

"I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I have better things to do than stalk you," Mark responded, laughing. "And you haven't answered my question."

"If you must know, I'm looking for Derek," Addison replied, stepping onto the lift that had now appeared. "You haven't seen him have you?"

Mark followed her onto the lift. "Nope. Funnily enough, I don't stalk him either."

Addison shook her head, trying not to smile. "He's been so preoccupied recently," Addison said. "And when he got back from wherever he was last night, he was angry. I haven't seen him so angry in a long time. Do you know what's going on?"

"Can't say," Mark replied, tapping his nose. "And in what way angry?"

"He just looked…angry. He hardly spoke and was banging things around a lot…" Addison replied. "So there's something going on?"

"I didn't say there was," Mark said, as the lift doors opened and he stepped off. "And if there was, I wouldn't tell you." he said, smirking at her and walking off.

* * *

Meredith was on her way home when she heard her phone ring. Putting Doc's lead and the bag she had into one hand, she eased her phone out of her pocket and put it to her ear without looking who was calling.

"Hey Mer, are you busy?" the voice at the other end asked. It was Cristina.

"No," Meredith replied. "I'm just on my way home after walking Doc and going to the shop."

"Well I have the afternoon off, I wondered if you wanted to meet up…?" Cristina asked.

"Sure, want to come over?" Meredith said. Cristina agreed so Meredith told her the address. When she got home, she let Doc off the lead and went inside to freshen up. She was just making herself some coffee when she heard the doorbell ring, so she went to answer it. She let Cristina in, got her a cup of coffee and they made their way to the living room.

"Bridal magazines?" Cristina asked, raising her eyebrow, looking at the table where Meredith had laid them all out. "I know we've only known each other a short while, but I was pretty sure you weren't the type. I guess I was wrong.."

Meredith laughed. "You're the second person to say that today," she replied. The shop-owner had said the exact same thing when she had purchased them, but she had known him a lot longer than she had known Cristina. "And you're right, I'm not the type, but Finn wants a traditional wedding, and well I only plan on doing it once…"

"Rather you than me. I swear, if me and Burke ever get married - I'm putting my foot down - no frills, no ruffles, no church, no huge gathering of people…" Cristina replied, shuddering at the thought.

"It won't be that bad…will it?" Meredith asked. "Please reassure me, it'll all be fine."

"It will be fine," Cristina replied, not looking her straight in the eye.

"Let's talk about something else," Meredith replied taking a sip of her coffee. "How is work?"

"Oh you know, the usual. I'm getting grief from the other interns because they think Burke is favouring me," Cristina said, rolling her eyes. "Clearly because I am the best intern for the job, but they can't see that."

Meredith laughed but she couldn't work out if Cristina was being serious or not. The look she received for laughing told her that it had not been meant in a jokey manner. "I'm sure you are…"

"No, seriously." Cristina replied. "I am. Anyway, then the McDreamys are having some sort of domestic, and because Izzie and Alex have been on their service they keep getting caught in the middle."

Meredith's heart panged at the mention of his name, or at least his nickname. She took a sip of her coffee to hide her face, lest it be giving anything away. "A domestic?"

"I don't know," Cristina replied shrugging. "I don't have time for gossiping. Just apparently he has been really moody recently. That's what I've heard.."

* * *

"There you are, I've been looking for you all day." Addison said, as she approached Derek who was studying a patient's notes. He looked up as he heard her voice.

"Sorry, I've been really busy. Was there any particular reason?" he asked, going back to his notes.

"I just think we need to talk.." Addison said.

"We do?" Derek asked, setting the notes on the desk and studying Addison's face. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know," Addison replied. She nodded in the direction of the on-call room and entered it and leant against a bed, while Derek sat down

"Have you gone off me Derek?" Addison asked, avoiding eye contact. "Has something happened?"

Derek shook his head. "No. Why would you think that?"

"Well you were so moody for a while, and then you really brightened up and seemed really happy, and then you got all moody and quiet again, especially today. And you've barely kissed me, or talked to me. Well you have kissed me occasionally, but it's sporadically and never lasts very long. Ever since we came back to work, things have been different…" Addison trailed off.

Derek stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. "Addison, you are my wife and have been for 11 years, I love you. And I'm sorry that things have been different - just having time off, then coming back to work - of course things will change. But now I know how you feel, I'll try to get things back to how they were." he finished off, and kissed her.

Addison smiled at him. "You're right, I'm sorry. Things will be fine." she said, hugging him.

He kissed the top of her head and held her close to him. This was where he belonged.

* * *

Finn put his key in the lock and entered the house. "Meredith?" he called as he took off his coat and hung it up. He walked through the downstairs rooms but she wasn't there. Taking off his shoes he headed upstairs and looked around but she was no-where to be found. He went into the bathroom and put the shower on, and stepped into it, enjoying its warmth and the feeling of cleanliness. When he got out and was drying himself he heard the downstairs door open and heard Meredith call "Finn?" up the stairs. He pulled on some clean clothes and went downstairs, drying his hair with a towel.

"Miss me?" he asked when he reached Meredith, dropping the towel and putting his arms around her.

Meredith smiled. "Maybe," she replied, leaning up to kiss him. "I have something to tell you."

"Oh?" Finn replied as Meredith led him into the living room. She sat down on the sofa and patted the spot beside her for him to sit down. She turned round and took hold of his hands.

"You know the way I said I didn't want a big fuss for our wedding…?" Meredith started. Finn nodded slowly, still looking confused. "Well, I've changed my mind." she said proudly.

"Are you sure?" Finn asked, raising his eyebrow suspiciously.

"Absolutely. I even bought some wedding magazines yesterday, and Cristina came over and we were talking about it. I only intend on doing this once." she concluded.

"Really? I intended this to be my first of many," Finn replied laughing. Meredith hit him on the arm. "Oi! I was kidding…"

Meredith leaned in and kissed him. "Bedtime?" she asked, winking at him.

"Meredith Grey, did you just _wink_ at me?" Finn laughed. "I was only away for 3 days wasn't I…?"

Meredith stood up. "Well are you coming or not?"

Finn stood up immediately. "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

Meredith laughed again and headed upstairs.

* * *

"Derek, where are we going?" Addison asked. Derek had told her to bring a change of clothes to work, and he'd put her in the car mysteriously after work and had not told her where they were going.

"It's a surprise," Derek said for what he felt was like the hundredth time that day. "Just wait and see."

Addison sighed and looked out the window. "I don't like surprises, where are we going?"

"Tough - I'm not telling you, so stop asking." Derek said, turning on the radio.

"Are we nearly there?" Addison asked.

Derek just turned to look at her, shaking his head. Finally, about ten minutes later Derek pulled in to a parking lot. "We're here." he said, turning to her grinning.

Addison looked out of the window and saw a restaurant. She'd never been to it before but she knew from what she'd heard that it was incredibly expensive and posh.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, as she unfastened her seatbelt.

"Question, question, question." Derek replied, getting out of the car. "Can't I treat my wife every so often?"

Addison smiled. "Yes, you most certainly may treat your wife." She walked round to the other side of the car and kissed him.

* * *

Meredith rolled over in bed - Finn was fast asleep. She smiled at him and then quietly slipped out of bed and padded out of the room. She went downstairs and went into the kitchen to make herself a hot chocolate. Sitting at the counter, she pulled out one of her wedding magazines and started flicking through it. She admired the dresses, running her hands over the pages. When she finished her drink she went back upstairs to bed and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

She was in a church, surrounded by people. Cristina was standing beside her in her scrubs. "Cristina! You didn't get changed," Meredith moaned at her. "You can't wear scrubs to a wedding."

"I don't do dresses," Cristina replied. "You know I don't."

Meredith nodded at her and looked down at what she was wearing. It was the frilliest, puffiest, biggest dress she had ever seen in her life. Suddenly, Lexie was beside her, pushing her towards the aisle. She saw Finn smiling down at her and she grinned back at him waving. She walked up the aisle, her father suddenly appearing beside her. "Dad?" she asked. "Where did you appear from?"

"You think I'd pass up the chance to give my only daughter away?" Thatcher asked laughing.

"Only daughter? What about Lexie?" Meredith asked.

Thatcher didn't respond so Meredith continued up the aisle, Finn was still smiling at her. She reached the top and the minister turned to face her. "Addison?" Meredith asked shocked.

"That's right Meredith," Addison replied. "Now shall we begin?"

Meredith felt Finn slip his hand into hers and she squeezed it.

"Repeat after me - I, Meredith Grey." Addison started.

"I, Meredith Grey…" Meredith repeated.

"Do take you, Derek Shepherd…" Addison continued.

"Derek?" Meredith repeated shocked. "No, it's Finn. See, it's Finn!" she said turning to face her fiancé. He turned to face her, but it wasn't Finn. "Derek?!" Meredith repeated again. She looked around her shocked. "No, I'm marrying Finn. Where's Finn?" Meredith turned around bewildered. "Finn!" she called. "Finn!"

* * *

Meredith opened her eyes with a start. Finn was hovering over her, a look of concern on his face.

"I'm here Meredith," he said. "Are you alright? You were dreaming, you were mumbling something and then started shouting my name."

Meredith closed her eyes then opened them again. "I was dreaming… about our wedding. You weren't there…"

Finn ran a reassuring hand over Meredith's face. "Of course I'll be there silly. It was just a bad dream. You ok?"

Meredith nodded. "I'll be fine."

Finn climbed back into bed and pulled Meredith close to him. Meredith looked straight ahead, not able to get Derek's face off her mind. She loved Finn and couldn't wait to be his wife, they were meant to be. People kept telling them that. Whatever had happened she was determined to make the wedding a success and make Finn happy.

* * *

Derek and Addison arrived home. "Thank you for a wonderful evening," Addison said as she threw her shoes off. "You really are a fantastic husband." she said, wrapping her arms around him and kissed him.

"I'm not that fantastic." Derek replied.

"You are," Addison replied. "And I won't let you disagree."

Addison headed upstairs to bed, but Derek went into the living room and sat down on the sofa, putting his feet up on the coffee table, which Addison hated him doing. "Not such a great husband," Derek repeated to himself. "Slept with another woman, put my feet on the coffee table, didn't even take my shoes off."

His thoughts wandered to Meredith. That smile, the way she kissed him. He shook his head trying to get rid of the thoughts. She had a fiancé, he had a wife - they were both happy. Weren't they?


	12. Chapter 12

It had been a month since Meredith and Derek had been unfaithful and they had not been in contact since. She had thrown herself into wedding preparations while we had put all of his efforts into putting the spark back into his marriage. Meredith put her trainers on and headed towards the front door. She'd decided to take up jogging to attempt to get in shape for her wedding. The sun was shining, making the day hot and muggy. She was just about to leave when she heard Finn calling her name.

"Meredith!" he came into the hall from the kitchen. "Are you sure you should be jogging in this heat?"

Meredith waved her bottle of water at him and nodded. "I'll be fine - I won't go too far. Now, go to work," she walked towards him and kissed him. "I love you".

"I love you too," he replied and then she headed out of the door and onto her usual jogging track. Maybe Finn was right, she thought to herself - it was quite hot. But she continued on. She stopped after she'd jogged quite a long way and took a swig of her water. Leaning against a tree she waited a minute before continuing on her way, jogging through a cramp she'd developed in her leg.

* * *

"Meredith Grey, 31 years old. Suspected dehydration and heat exhaustion, found passed out by a passer by, looks like she'd been jogging, " the paramedic recited as he wheeled Meredith into the Emergency Department of Seattle Grace Hospital.

"She was in here a couple of months ago to have a brain tumour removed," Bailey said, taking a look at Meredith. "Dr O'Malley, go and find her chart."

George nodded and headed off. Cristina was doing rounds when George bumped into her. Cristina watched as he looked through the charts.

"Why do you need Meredith's notes?" Cristina asked as she saw him lift it out of the drawer.

"She's eh just been admitted to the ED - some man found her passed out on a jogging trail. We think it's dehydration and heat exhaustion, she should be fine," George told Cristina, edging away. Cristina followed George until he reached Meredith's room.

"Yang, what are you doing here?" Bailey asked.

"I'm sorry Dr Bailey, Meredith is a friend.. I just wanted to check she was ok.." Cristina trailed off, trying to look into the room.

"Your friend will be fine, but just as a precaution could you page Dr Shepherd?" Bailey replied going into the room. She attached a drip to Meredith's arm to get fluids back into her. As she was doing that, Meredith's eyes flickered open.

"What…what's going on?" she asked, looking around confused.

"You collapsed while out jogging," Bailey told her. "We're attaching the drip because you're dehydrated and we suspect heat exhaustion. We've paged Dr Shepherd as a precaution though, due to your past surgery."

"Oh, there's no need to bother Dr Shepherd," Meredith said trying to sit up. "I'm sure it's nothing - I just got too hot and fainted."

"I'm afraid that won't stand up well in front of the board if something were to happen to you and I told them I hadn't taken precautionary steps because you'd probably just got "too hot and fainted", Bailey replied as she finished attaching the drip. "So, Dr Shepherd will be here to check you over."

Meredith nodded and looked up at the ceiling. "Great," she muttered.

Meanwhile Derek was in the middle of a surgery when his pager went off. One of the scrub nurses read it and informed him that Dr Bailey wanted a consult.

"It can wait," he replied continuing with his operation. "I'll be done here in a couple of hours".

When he had finished he went to find Dr Bailey and the patient he had been paged to see. He heard her voice coming from one of the rooms so went into it. "Dr Bailey you…" he trailed off as he saw the patient in the bed. "You paged me?"

"Yes, Meredith here collapsed while jogging - we think it's dehydration and heat exhaustion. We've run some tests, but we'd like you just to check it's nothing to do with the surgery she had a couple of months ago," Bailey said as she left the room. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have interns to chase."

Derek nodded and picked up Meredith's chart. He walked over to her bed as he read it. "So, how have you been?" he asked as he took her blood pressure and shone his torch into her eyes.

"Apart from this, good. Really getting into the wedding preparations - the wedding is in a month, so it'd be good if this was nothing serious." Meredith said, laughing to ease the tension.

"So soon?" Derek asked, stopping in his tracks and looking up from what he had been writing.

"Well why wait? We've been engaged for a while, we love each other and the place we wanted happened to be available so we booked it." Meredith said, avoiding Derek's gaze.

"Well, I'm happy for you." he replied, snapping her chart shut. At that moment George arrived at the door.

"Excuse me Dr Shepherd," he said, hovering around the doorway. "Meredith's test results are back but Dr Bailey is busy… she uh asked me to give them to you."

George handed over a sheet to Dr Shepherd, who nodded at him in dismissal and looked at the sheet. Meredith watched as Derek's face turned to one of shock and confusion.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked.

"Will you excuse me? I'll be right back!" Derek said rushing from the room. Minutes after he left, there was a knock at the door and Finn entered.

"Finn, what are you doing here?" Meredith asked, sitting up.

"They called me at work." he said, rushing to Meredith's side. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine - dehydration and heat exhaustion or something," Meredith said. "I think you might have been right about the jogging," she looked at him sheepishly. "Dr Shepherd checked, it's nothing to do with my head. He's just gone to check something."

Finn kissed Meredith and then sat down on the chair beside her to wait. Derek soon returned with Addison in tow. Meredith sat up, looking confused.

"Hello Meredith, I'm Dr Montgomery-Shepherd," Addison said holding out her hand. "Dr Shepherd has asked me down here because your test results suggest another reason for your collapse. Meredith, is there a chance you could be pregnant?"

"Pregnant?" Meredith repeated slowly. She looked at Finn, and then at Derek and finally at Addison. "I guess so… can't you do a test?"

"Well that's the next step. I'll be able to run those tests for you and have the results straight back." Addison said.

* * *

A couple of hours passed and Addison returned to Meredith's room. Derek, seeing her approach the door, hurried to join her.

"Derek, you don't need to be here…" Addison started.

"I want to be, I'd like to know what's going on with my patient." Derek said, opening the door. As they went in, Meredith and Finn stopped talking and turned to face Addison.

"Well?" Finn asked, squeezing Meredith's hand tightly.

"Meredith, you're pregnant," Addison said, smiling at the couple. "About a month I'd say. Congratulations."

Meredith smiled back at Addison and then at Finn who then enveloped her in a hug.

"I'll give you two a minute," Addison said, heading towards the door.

Derek went to follow her, but stopped at the door. Meredith was looking at him, a look of concern on her face. He smiled reassuringly at her and left the room.

* * *

Later that evening, Cristina finished her shift and was preparing to leave but before she left she wanted to check on Meredith, so she went to her room and softly knocked the door.

"Come in," a voice called.

Cristina opened the door. "It's only me. Hey, have you been crying?" she asked, as she noticed Meredith wipe her eyes as she entered the room.

"No. I'm happy, why would I be crying?" Meredith replied, forcing a smile. "I'm getting married in a month, I'm going to have a baby in eight months…" Meredith trailed off and burst into tears again.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" Cristina asked, taking a seat beside the bed. "Sensitive issues aren't really my forte, but you never know, maybe I could help?"

Meredith wiped her eyes. "It's nothing."

Cristina raised her eyebrows at her.

"Ok, it's not nothing. If I tell you something, you have to SWEAR not to tell anyone else…" Meredith replied.

"I swear," Cristina replied. "Honestly, you can trust me. I know we haven't known each other that long, but … well you're probably my best friend."

Meredith couldn't help but smile - she knew that Cristina didn't say these types of things lightly. But then she remembered what she was about to say and her smile dropped again. "About a month ago, I had sex with another man, a married man, a man I shouldn't be having sex with. It only happened once, but it wasn't just a one night stand. It was more than that, we have, well we had this amazing connection, and it was going to happen for a long time and then it happened, and it was incredible, but then we agreed not to see each other anymore, because we were both attached, and I love Finn and I know he loves his wife. And well, this happened a month ago, and now I'm pregnant…"

"Wow," Cristina let out a whistle. "That was a lot of information, but what you're saying is the baby may not be Finn's?"

Meredith nodded. "Oh Cristina, what am I going to do?"


	13. Chapter 13

"You are SO beautiful," Lexie sniffed, brushing a tear away from her cheek. "So beautiful."

Meredith looked at herself in the mirror. She was wedding dress shopping with Lexie, Cristina and her friends Carrie and Eve. Lexie, Carrie and Eve were all dabbing their eyes with tissues, while Cristina looked ever so slightly disgusted, but Meredith could tell she was trying to hide it. Her wedding was just under a month away. They were right, she did look pretty good. She had chosen a simple design, she still didn't want anything extravagant, but it emphasised her natural beauty. They had talked about it and decided the wedding was going to be a simple affair with just their close friends and family in attendance.

"I can't believe my big sister is getting married," Lexie continued sniffling. "And I'm going to be an aunt."

At the mention of her baby Meredith's thoughts shifted to Derek. She looked at her stomach. In eight months she would become a mother for the first time, and she didn't know who the father was. At this thought tears pricked her eyes.

"I can't do this," she said, rushing back to the changing room, pulling at the ties on the back of the dress. The shop assistant hurried after her and helped her out of the dress. When she was changed she went back to her concerned friends.

"Are you alright, Mer?" Carrie asked, putting her arm reassuringly around Meredith's shoulders. "I know this is all very overwhelming…"

At this Meredith burst into tears. The other three women looked between themselves not knowing what to do. Being the only one who knew what Meredith was upset about, Cristina stepped in.

"Maybe we should call it a day," she said, taking Meredith by the arm and leading her out of the shop. Outside, she put her hands on Meredith's shoulders. "Pull yourself together," she said simply. "I think you should tell Lexie what is going on."

"What? No…" Meredith protested, tears continuing to fall down her cheeks.

"Meredith, I am out of my depth here," Cristina replied. "I want to help you, but I don't know what to do. Maybe Lexie can help… just tell her."

Meredith nodded and wiped her eyes with her sleeves. At that moment Lexie, Carrie and Eve exited the shop, bringing Meredith's bag that she had left behind.

"I'm not really feeling well," Meredith said, looking sheepishly at her two friends. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise," Eve replied, giving Meredith a hug. "Just you give us a call when you're ready to go again."

They waved goodbye and left, leaving Meredith, Cristina and Lexie standing outside the shop.

"I have things to do Mer," Cristina said, giving Meredith a look. "Call me later."

Meredith nodded. "Can we go to yours?" she turned to ask her sister. Lexie nodded and they headed to her car. When they got back to her flat, Lexie made them both a drink and they sat on the sofa.

"Are you going to tell me what this is about?" Lexie said softly.

Meredith set her drink on the table. "I am a horrible person," she said, letting out a bitter laugh, as she felt the tears starting to build again. "I cheated on Finn." she said, before she could back out of saying it.

"Oh," was all Lexie could respond with. A brief silence followed. "With who?"

"Derek Shepherd," Meredith replied, her heart skipping a beat when she mentioned his name.

"As in the doctor who saved your life?" Lexie asked.

Meredith nodded, avoiding her sister's eyes.

"Was this a one time thing or…?" Lexie asked.

Meredith looked up at this minute. "I don't know," she replied, her eyes filling with tears again. "It was just a bit of harmless flirting in the hospital, or so I thought, and then it built up to this amazing, spine tingling, earth shattering, kiss," Meredith bit her lip. "And then, I tried to forget him, but he came round and we…slept together. And then he said it was a mistake." Meredith finished, tears streaming down her face, as she tried to wipe them away. "And now I'm pregnant."

"With his baby?" Lexie asked softly.

Meredith shrugged. "I don't know. It could be his, it might be Finn's… how can I marry Finn after I have done all this and the baby might not even be his?"

Lexie leant forward to hug her sister. "May I say something?" she asked gently.

Meredith nodded.

"You and Finn have been together for a couple of years now," she started. "And I know how much you love him. I have seen you together, I have seen how happy you make each other. But Mer," she said, grabbing her sister's hand. "I have never ever seen you talk about him the way I just saw you talk about Derek."

Meredith looked confused and Lexie smiled at her.

"Meredith, you can't marry Finn," she continued. "For a start, this isn't fair on him, he doesn't deserve this. You can't keep lying to him when you are so obviously in love with someone else."

"I'm not in love…" Meredith responded defensively. "I love Finn."

"I know you love Finn," Lexie replied. "But you are so in love with Derek. When you talk about him your eyes shine, and not just because you have been crying, and you smile. You're practically glowing."

"He has a wife, he could lose his job," Meredith replied, not denying her feelings any longer.

"You can't stay with Finn just to make yourself feel better," Lexie said, rubbing Meredith's arm. "You have to tell him how you feel."

Meredith nodded. She knew that Lexie was right.

* * *

"Dr O'Malley, do you know where Meredith Grey's chart is?" Derek asked.

"Dr Montgomery-Shepherd has it," George replied as he came perilously close to dropping the pile of charts he had in his arms. He had somehow drawn the short straw and had been confined to updating them for most of the day.

"Why?" Derek asked, confused.

"Oh, she wanted to monitor her pregnancy, because she is pregnant so soon after major surgery," George replied, setting the charts down. "She's transferred Meredith's care from her regular OBGYN to herself."

"Oh," Derek replied and headed off in search of Addison. He found her in the Resident's Lounge in conversation with Dr Bailey. "Bailey, could I borrow my wife a minute please?"

Bailey nodded and vacated her seat, allowing Derek to sit down.

"I hear you have taken on Meredith Grey as a patient," he said, playing with a piece of paper that was sitting on the table.

Addison took a sip of the coffee she was drinking and nodded. "She had brain surgery recently, and then this collapse, I don't want anything to happen to her," she replied. "Not after you so skilfully saved her life. Plus she's getting married in under a month, I want to make sure she doesn't get too stressed."  
Derek hit the table in frustration with his fist which made Addison jump.

"I'm sorry," he said looking at her apologetically. "I've just remembered something I have to do."

He got up, leaving Addison bemused at his sudden violent movement, and went to an on-call room, leaning his hands against a bed and resting his head on the cool metal. As if sleeping with a patient hadn't been bad enough, his wife was now looking after the woman who could be carrying his child. He really had got himself in quite a mess. And just when he had thought he was getting over Meredith she had come crashing back into his life.

* * *

Meredith left Lexie's and got into her car, and as she drove home she went over in her head what she was going to say. Now Lexie knew about Derek, and Cristina knew she had cheated, she knew that Lexie was right - she couldn't keep lying to Finn, he didn't deserve it. She finally reached home and found it in darkness.

"Finn?" she called as she opened the front door. "Hello?"

She wandered into the kitchen and found a note stuck on the front of the fridge.

_Gone out for a few beers with the guys, hope you don't mind. Be back soon. Love you._

Meredith sighed and then headed upstairs.


	14. Chapter 14

_Dear Finn,_

_You are probably wondering where I am, and why you are now holding my engagement ring in your hand. I don't know how to say this, and I know a letter is taking the coward's way out, but I couldn't hang around any longer. A few months ago I met someone - I didn't go out looking for an affair, I was happy with you, he just fell into my life. About a month ago we slept together, which means there is a chance that this baby isn't yours. This wasn't just a one night stand Finn, I have intense feelings for this man, he's confused me. I think I'm in love with him. I couldn't go on living the lie that everything was fine with you. I love you Finn, I really do, but I don't know if I'm in love with you anymore. That's why I've left, to give us both some time and space. You'll probably be angry, upset, confused - after we've had some time to clear our heads we can talk about this together. In the meantime know I'm safe. I've gone to stay with Lexie for a while._

_Of course there is every chance this baby might be yours but I couldn't go on pretending that it was in case it wasn't. Oh Finn, I'm so sorry._

_Meredith_

* * *

Meredith turned the radio on in her car to try and break the silence that was enclosing her. It was starting to get dark and it was raining. She wondered if Finn had arrived home to find her letter yet. She knew it was the wrong way to go about things but she hadn't been able to sit around waiting for him to return, possibly drunk, meaning she would have to wait even longer, and she might have chickened out. She felt strange. She thought that when she had told Finn she would feel freer, relief, but the suspense of waiting was making her feel worse. And she couldn't imagine how Finn would feel, arriving home to find her gone and in her place just a letter. Meredith instantly felt guilty when she thought about the letter - she should have waited to talk to him in person, but it was too late to turn back now. Finally, she reached her destination so she wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Taking her bag out of the car she went to press the buzzer. At first there was no reply but then she was buzzed in. She entered the building and climbed the stairs to the second floor and knocked the door. It opened and Meredith stepped forward to give her a sister a hug.

"I left him," she mumbled into Lexie's shoulder. "I actually did it."

Lexie hugged her older sister back and then led her inside. They went to the sofa and both sat down, neither saying anything.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lexie asked.

Meredith shook her head and lay down on the sofa, staring straight ahead. Lexie got up and fetched a blanket, draping it over her sister and then left the room to give her some peace.

* * *

At the hospital Derek had just finished his shift and was running through the rain towards his car. As he got in, he shook his hair to get rid of some of the water and then turned the key in the ignition. He turned the radio on to try and disrupt his troubled thoughts of Meredith, the baby, and Addison. When he reached the driveway he was confused as he noticed the car behind him, which had followed him all the way from the hospital, follow him in. Derek brought his car to a halt and got out, walking towards the other car. As he got closer a man got out and Derek stopped in his tracks.

"Finn? What are you doing here?" Derek asked. "Did you follow me?"

"It's you isn't it?" Finn said quietly, staring at Derek.

Derek looked back at him, still confused, the rain continuing to fall on the pair. "It's me what?"

"You're the man who my fiancé fell for, you're the man who probably got her pregnant," Finn said, getting louder. "You're the man my fiancé is in love with. It's you!" Finn laughed bitterly, taking a step towards Derek. "It's you."

"Finn I…" Derek started, reeling from what Finn had just said. "Did Meredith tell you this?"

"She didn't have to," Finn replied. "It was obvious, the way you two looked at each other. I knew it all along."

"So Meredith didn't tell you any of this?" Derek asked slowly.

Finn laughed again. "No, she didn't tell me. She wrote me a letter." he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and waved it at Derek to reiterate the point.

"A letter," Derek repeated. "Finn, I don't know what she's said, but OK, I'll admit it, we did sleep together once, but it didn't mean anything. I have a wife, I could lose my job if this got out."

Finn stepped forward so he and Derek were practically touching. He jabbed his finger in Derek's chest. "So you used her?"

"I didn't say that," Derek replied, backing away as Finn took a swing for him. Derek grabbed his wrist and held it so he couldn't try again. "Look, go home to Meredith, talk it through with her."

"I can't," Finn replied through gritted teeth. "She's left me."

"Oh." was all Derek could reply with.

"Yeah, oh. So it obviously meant more to her than it did to you. I hope you're happy with yourself for screwing our lives up." Finn shouted going back to his car, slamming the door and speeding off. Derek was left alone standing in the driveway. He heard movement behind him and Addison and Mark came out of the house.

"Who was that?" Addison asked.

"Someone got lost, needed directions," Derek replied absentmindedly. "Mark, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," Mark replied. "To talk to you."

"What about?" Derek asked, approaching the house.

"To see if you're alright…" Mark said, glancing at Addison.

"Oh not this again," Derek replied, pushing his way past Mark and Addison and going into the house. "I am fine."

* * *

Meredith woke up, taking in her strange surroundings. At first she couldn't remember where she was, but then memories from the night before came flooding back. She sat up, pushing her hair away from her face. She tiptoed through to Lexie's bathroom and turned the shower on. The hot water felt good against her skin. When she'd finished, she dried off and got dressed. Lexie had gone out so Meredith scribbled her a quick note and headed out the door and got into her car again. She soon arrived home. She walked into the living room and found Finn asleep on the sofa. She walked over to him and shook him gently. He was still in clothes from the night before which were slightly damp.

"Finn?" she said.

His eyes flickered open. "Meredith.." he sat up. "I didn't think you'd be coming back."

"We need to talk, I had a chance to sleep on it and realised that a letter wasn't the nicest way of me telling you…" Meredith replied, sitting opposite Finn. "You should get changed, you'll catch a chill."

"You care about me now do you?" Finn sat up rubbing his eyes.

Meredith let the words wash over her and chose not to reply, she didn't want to get into a fight.

Finn looked like he was apologetic as soon as the words left his mouth. "I'm sorry, I don't want to fight with you… I did something stupid last night…"

"What did you do Finn?" Meredith asked, concern filling her eyes.

"I confronted Derek Shepherd." Finn replied. "I'm not proud of it, but I was angry."

"You confronted Derek," Meredith repeated putting her head in her hands. "You _confronted_ Derek. You didn't even know it was Derek, but you CONFRONTED him?"

"As I said, it was stupid. But I was right…" Finn replied. "When did it happen?"

Meredith kept looking down, studying her hands. "The weekend you were away fishing. I didn't plan it Finn, he came over and started going on about how he didn't want this, but he wanted me, and it happened and I'm sorry…"

"It happened. Is that all you can say? Do you know how it feels? To one day have something, no, to have everything, and the next day, it's taken away from you," Finn said, looking straight at Meredith. She looked back at him opening and closing her mouth, unsure of what to say. "Derek told me that what happened didn't mean anything." Finn continued. "So, you cheated on me, but it meant nothing. It might have been a little easier to take if it'd been something that really mattered, but you risked our relationship for what? Nothing. You should go." he said, standing up and shaking his head.

"But Finn, I want to talk about this…" Meredith protested. Finn continued to shake his head.

"Not now, I need time. Go back to Lexie's," he said as he left the room. "Hey, at least we didn't get married - it's a lot easier this way."

The words stung Meredith, but instead of staying to fight, she left quietly.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Two things. Firstly, thank you so much for all the comments :) I am glad you are enjoying the story. Secondly, I'm going to be busy for the next week or so, so might not be able to update as regularly as I have been so I thought I would leave you with this quick chapter and a slight cliffhanger ;) Enjoy!_

* * *

Addison was working a shift at the hospital and Derek was sitting alone at home. Deciding he couldn't stand it any more he got up and picked up his car keys. Darkness was beginning to descend over Seattle and he knew where he wanted to go. He drove to the ferry port and walked to the railings, where he leaned to watch the ferry boats arrive and leave, their lights twinkling in the darkness. There was a gentle breeze but it was a warm the night, and the rain from the past couple of days had eventually eased. The ferry port was one of his favourite places to be, especially when he was stressed, which he certainly was now. It was quiet at this time of night as well which gave him time and space to think. He heard footsteps behind him and he turned to see who it was. He said nothing as he realised it was Meredith and turned back to look at the boats, as she approached the railing and stood beside him. Neither of them spoke until Meredith broke the silence after five minutes.

"Finn told me," she said, keeping her eyes straight ahead. "What you said. How what happened between us meant nothing."

Derek didn't reply, instead just looking down at his feet before looking out to the water again. Meredith continued to speak.

"You should know how_ incredibly_ stupid I feel," she continued, letting out a slight laugh. "I thought it did mean something. I mean, I felt something and I thought you did too. I guess I was wrong…" she turned to look at him, but he was still looking determinedly ahead. "You pursued ME! You came to MY house. For what? But hey, it doesn't work out too badly for you, does it? You still have your wife, your relationship, your life. You got to have sex with another woman and not have to deal with any of the consequences. You're not sleeping on your sister's sofa… you're not pregnant with a baby which might be your partner's, well ex-partner, or someone you slept with once, which was 'meaningless', so you're facing life as a single mother. Well, it would be odd if you were pregnant because you're a man, but -" she was cut off by Derek pulling her towards him and kissing her. She pulled away. "What are you doing?!"

"Shutting you up," Derek replied simply, looking back out to the water. "You were starting to talk rubbish."

"See, there you go again! Kissing me as a means of shutting me up - you can't just go around kissing people, especially not me!" Meredith said in exasperation. She grabbed Derek's arm and made him face her. "You can't kiss me! You can't because I want it to mean something, I don't want it just to be a way of -" she was stopped again by Derek kissing her, this time more deeply. "…shutting me up." she finished her sentence quietly when Derek had let her go.

Meredith put a hand to her mouth and gave Derek a steely look. "Unbelievable," she said through gritted teeth. "Is this some sort of _game_ for you? Do you enjoy making people miserable? Playing with their feelings? Well Derek," she said, her cheeks turning pink and her voice rising. "This is IT. Do you understand? I have had enough," she said, her voice trembling slightly so she bit her lip, trying to prevent the tears forming in her eyes from falling. "I have had_ enough_" she repeated quietly, her voice falling to whisper. She turned to walk away but was stopped when Derek caught hold of her hand. "I lied," he said.

Meredith stopped and moved back towards the railing. "Lied about what?"

Derek turned to face her properly, his eyes searching hers.

"When I told Finn it meant nothing, I lied," he said. "It did mean something. So did those kisses I just gave you. So has every look I've ever given you, every time I've touched you - it has all meant something, Meredith, I'm absolutely crazy about you. I've never felt this way about anyone, not even Addison!" he said running his hand through his hair. "But don't you see, me and you - it would never work. You were, well technically still are my patient. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, it's all so messed -" this time Derek was broken off by Meredith kissing him. She kissed him like it would be the last time she would ever get to kiss him. Electricity shot through them both and they were lost in the moment until Meredith finally took a step back.

"I'm sorry, you were rambling," Meredith said, smiling slightly at him. "I had to shut you up somehow. Look, Derek, I'm not going to force you into anything. I've left Finn, I don't expect you to leave Addison - you have been married for a long time, you can't just give that up for some woman you barely know. But, I love you and can't just give up without a fight. Also, this.." she said, pointing at her stomach. "This could be part of you - part of us. So, I'm giving you a choice. I'll be right here at this time on Friday night - if you want me, if you want to be with me you'll come, but if you're going to stay with Addison you won't. If you don't come, that's fine - I'll understand your decision and that'll be it. Derek, it's up to you." she smiled once more at him, leaning up to kiss his cheek, and then turned and walked away, while Derek watched her go. He turned to look back at the boats coming and going, the breeze picking up slightly. Wrapping his coat around him he walked back to his car and drove home. When there he went into the living room and took a photo album from the bookcase. There were photos of his and Addison's holiday when they had taken time off work, the holiday they had returned from when he first met Meredith. They were happy and smiling. As he was flicking through the pictures a piece of paper on the floor caught his eye. He bent down to pick it up and straightened it out. He smiled when he saw what was on it. It was the page he had drawn on the night he and Meredith had talked for hours. He folded it and put it in his pocket and slipped the photo album away.

* * *

Meredith arrived back at Lexie's flat and let herself in. Her sister was watching TV but turned it off when she heard Meredith arrive.

"Hey, where have you been?" Lexie asked.

"I went to talk to Finn this morning, well tried to. He needs more time," Meredith said, sitting down. "I just saw Derek - I told him how I felt, I gave him a choice."

"And what did he decide?" Lexie asked.

"I don't know yet, I gave him until Friday to decide." Meredith replied going to the kitchen. "But whatever he decides, it's his choice and I'll have to live with it. At least then, even if he doesn't choose me, I can have closure."

"What about the baby?" Lexie asked, as Meredith came back into the room.

"If it is his baby, he can play a part in his or her life, if he wants," she replied, sitting on the edge of the sofa and taking a bite of a biscuit. "And I suppose Addison will be part of it too."

"Won't that be...?" Lexie replied, searching her head for the right word.

"Awkward? The worst thing ever? Horrible? Heartbreaking?" Meredith finished for her. "I'll just have to deal with it. It's my own fault for falling for a married man. He knows his choice, and now it is in his hands."

"You're brave Mer," Lexie said laughing and shaking her head. "Stupid, but incredibly brave."

Meredith smiled at her sister, but inside she was hurting: what was Derek going to do?


	16. Chapter 16

It was Thursday afternoon and Meredith was alone at Lexie's. She was flicking through a magazine when she looked at her watch. It was 2pm and Finn would be at work, meaning she could go and collect some more of her things without crowding him when he didn't want to see her. She picked up her car keys and drove the familiar route home… well what had used to be her home. She was surprised when she arrived to find Finn's car in the driveway, but deciding it was too late to turn away as he might have seen her, she parked behind him and got out of the car. She walked up to the front door and, despite having a key, knocked. He had said he wanted space and she intended to give him it, but needed to pick up some of her things. There was no answer, and after knocking again but still getting no response, she let herself in. When she opened the door she heard loud music coming from the living room so followed it. Finn was in there putting up a shelf in the corner and hammering nails into the wall.

"Finn?" she said, standing in the entrance to the living room. There was no answer so she repeated his name, only louder, but he still did not turn round. "FINN!" she shouted, just as the song came to an end. She watched in horror as Finn jumped at the sound of his name and the hammer he had been holding clattered to the floor, landing on his foot. She saw Finn's shoulders tense and he cursed. Turning round slowly, she noticed he had tears in his eyes.

"Meredith…" he said, his voice shaky. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Oh Finn.. I am so sorry!" Meredith rushed towards him, looking at his foot. He was not wearing shoes and she could see his toes veering at funny angles in his socks. "I am so so sorry. I did knock but you obviously didn't hear me. Come on," she continued. "We need to get you to the ER"

Finn bit his lip and shook his head. "I'll be fine."

"Finn, I think your toes are broken - you need to have them looked at," Meredith replied, putting a reassuring hand on Finn's arm. He brushed it away and tried to take a step forward, but let out a yelp of pain and sat down on the sofa.

"We are not going to the ER," he repeated, grimacing. "HE might be there…"

Meredith realised he was worried about encountering Derek again. She instantly felt guilty - first she had broken his heart, then she had broken his foot, and now she was probably breaking his pride.

"Finn, you will probably be seen by an intern, you have no head injuries," Meredith replied. "It will be fine."

Finn tried to stand up and let out another groan of pain as he put weight on his foot. He conceded that he had no choice and would have to go with Meredith to the ER. She put an arm around his waist to help him to the car and then drove to Seattle Grace Hospital. When they arrived she helped him into the ER. A bored looking doctor approached them.

"I'm Dr Karev," he said, looking at Finn's foot. "What happened?"

"I caused him to drop a hammer on his foot," Meredith replied, looking around her. "I think it's broken."

"Broken foot," Alex replied. He walked off and soon returned with a wheelchair and took Finn to a free cubicle and helped him onto the bed. "We'll need to send you for an X-Ray."

He beckoned at nurses who were standing by the desk and prepared the bed for transportation. They wheeled him off and Alex turned to Meredith.

"What is your relationship to him? Can you fill out these forms?" he asked, holding out a clipboard to Meredith. Meredith nodded them and started filling them out. When she was done she handed them back to Alex.

"Is there a bathroom anywhere?" she asked. He nodded and pointed her in the direction, so she hurried down the corridor, continuing to look around her. She noticed Addison at the other end of the corridor and darted behind a wall, pressing herself against it.

"Meredith?" she heard a voice saying her name. "What are you doing?"

She turned to face Cristina who had approached her. "I erm got lost." she replied.

Cristina raised her eyebrows. "Why were you against the wall? You looked like you were hiding from someone"

Meredith laughed. "Hiding? I wasn't hiding…"

"Anyway, are you alright?" Cristina asked, confused by what Meredith was doing but deciding not to push it further.

"Yeah, I am fine," Meredith replied. "I accidentally caused Finn to drop a hammer on his foot."

Cristina winced. "Ouch." she replied.

"Yeah," Meredith said. "Hey Cristina… could you tell me… are there any Shepherds on that corridor?"

"What?" Cristina asked, putting her hand on Meredith's forehead. "Are you sure you're OK?"

"Can you just check?" Meredith asked. "Please…"

Cristina reluctantly stuck her head around the corner and looked both ways.  
"Well?" Meredith asked.

"I will tell you if you tell me what's going on," Cristina replied, folding her arms.

Meredith looked to the ceiling and sighed. "Remember how I told you my baby might not be Finn's?" she asked, looking pointedly at Cristina, who nodded and then realisation dawned on her face.

"Oh my god… McDreamy?!" she asked. Meredith bit her lip and nodded. "When? How?"

"Can we not talk about this right now, please?" Meredith asked.

"Ok, ok, but you owe me a story," Cristina said. "And it's a Shepherd free zone out there."

"Thank you," Meredith replied and headed quickly to the toilets.

* * *

A few hours later Finn was wheeled back from his X-Ray.

"Six broken bones," he said to Meredith. "Won't be able to walk for a while, going to be on crutches once they plaster my foot up."

"Finn, I am so so sorry. I know I'm not your favourite person at the minute, and now I've caused this…" Meredith said, squeezing his hand.

"This wasn't on purpose," he replied, squeezing her hand back. "Don't worry about it."

He started to smile at her but they both froze as they heard someone in the cubicle next to them say "Can someone page Dr Derek Shepherd for a consult?"

Finn removed his hand from Meredith's. Panicking, she stood up and started closing the curtains around their cubicle.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked as he approached the bed. "I need to plaster his foot up, can we keep this open?"

Meredith nodded reluctantly and moved her chair as far into the corner as she could. Alex set about plastering Finn's foot and leg.

"Who paged me?" Derek's voice wafted through from the adjacent cubicle. Meredith and Finn exchanged a glance. "Have you done a CT scan?" he asked. Someone replied with 'no'.

"Don't waste my time asking for consults if you haven't even sent them for a scan yet," Derek snapped and Meredith heard the curtain being pushed back as he left. She then looked at Alex who appeared to be rolling his eyes. He stood up and pushed the dividing curtain back.

"Do you have a death wish?" he asked Izzie. "Why would you do something to annoy Shepherd? He's been grumpy as hell for the past few days. He actually made some other intern cry the other day."

"I was in that surgery," Izzie replied. "It was not a pretty sight. I wonder what's wrong with him? I mean, he has it all. The hot wife, the hot shot job."

Meredith stood up. "I'm going to get some fresh air," she said to Finn. "Text me when you're ready and I'll take you home."

Meredith walked out of the ER and took a deep breath. She walked around the corner until she found a secluded spot and she leaned against the wall, a few tears running down her face. She was an idiot, expecting that Derek might give up what he had for her. And Finn probably hated her more than ever now. Inside the hospital Derek was sitting in an on call room with his head in his hands. He had just 24 hours left to make the biggest decision of his life and he still had no idea what he was going to do.


	17. Chapter 17

_Here it is... the moment of truth - who will Derek choose? _

_This chapter jumps between scenes a lot as part of the build up. _

* * *

"Dr Shepherd?" Bailey said, approaching Derek cautiously. He had been snapping at people a lot recently, making people wary of him. And now he was just standing staring at the board. "Derek…" she said as she got closer. "Are you aright?"

Derek jumped as he heard her approach. "What? Yes, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Bailey asked, looking at him with concern. He had dark circles under his eyes and his usually perfect hair was not so perfect. "You've been standing there for nearly 20 minutes."

Derek nodded and looked at his watch - it was only 12 noon. He had last looked at his watch just ten minutes ago but to him it felt like hours. Bailey shrugged and walked off, and when Derek looked up he noticed Mark watching him.

"Did you know that is the tenth time you've looked at your watch in an hour," Mark commented as he sauntered over. "What are you waiting for?"

"Nothing, it's just a slow day." Derek replied, walking off in the other direction. He walked into one of his patient's rooms. It was a young woman who'd had a blood clot on her brain.

"Hello Nancy," Derek said as he entered the room. "How are you feeling?"

The woman looked up at him. "Alright, thank you Doctor."

"Good," Derek replied, looking at her charts. "Well, things are looking good here, I think we can discharge you in a few days."

Nancy smiled at him and then turned to the doorway as she noticed people arriving to visit her. Derek watched as a man walked over to her side and kissed her. He whispered something in her ear, to which she responded with a broad smile, her eyes shining. They obviously loved each other, Derek smiled at them. Nancy's parents also entered the room.

"Mr and Mrs Gold," Derek said. "We feel we will be able to discharge your daughter in a few days. Her recovery is very positive and she's responding well to the antibiotics we are currently giving her."

The couple smiled at each other. "Oh, thank you Dr Shepherd." Derek nodded his head and left the family alone, heading off to see other patients. As he left the room, Mark suddenly appeared beside him.

"You're up to something," he said as he walked with Derek. "Is it something to do with that mystery woman?"

"'I'm not up to anything," Derek said sighing. "Nothing at all."

Mark looked at him, squinting his eyes.

"You are, and I'm going to find out what," Mark replied walking off.

Derek sighed and continued doing his rounds.

* * *

Derek looked at his watch again. 3pm. Time was dragging on, he felt like he'd been on the go forever.

"I saw you," Mark said, appearing behind Derek. "Looking at your watch again."

Derek jumped. "Are you stalking me? And are you ever going to leave me alone?"

"Not until you tell me what's going on," Mark replied. "I am your best friend after all."

"We're not teenage girls Mark," Derek said. "We don't have to tell each other everything."

"I'm worried about you," Mark said, lacking any sincerity. "You look awful, it'd do you good to get whatever it is off your chest."

"I don't need to get anything off my chest!" Derek sighed, exasperated and marched off.

* * *

"What's wrong with Derek?" Mark asked, as he approached Addison.

"You…again," Addison replied, rolling her eyes skyward. "I swear you never leave me alone in this hospital. I don't know, why?"

"Well what are you doing tonight?" Mark asked, leaning against the desk.

"Nothing, why?" Addison asked, tapping her foot impatiently on the ground.

"Oh, no reason." Mark replied walking off leaving Addison standing, feeling a little put out.

He went to the Chief's office and knocked the door. A gruff voice called "come in" from inside.

"Excuse me Chief, I was just wondering if I could have a minute…" Mark said entering the room.

* * *

"Derek!" Mark called as he chased after his friend. Derek sighed rolling his eyes.

"Do I not get any peace around here?" he asked, frustration evident in his voice.

Mark gestured towards the on-call room and they both went inside. Derek took a seat, while Mark leaned casually against a bed.

"You don't have plans with Addison, the Chief, Dr Bailey, any of the interns or the Chief's assistant tonight," Mark said. "So, what exactly is going on?"

Derek shook his head in disbelief. "Have you been checking up on me?" he asked, laughing. "Maybe I have a life outside this hospital?"

"Then why are you being so secretive about it?" Mark asked, seriously.

"It's nothing," Derek commented. "Now, will you just let me get on with my job, please!"

Derek left the room looking at his watch - 5pm. He had three hours.

* * *

"He's going to show," Eve remarked, placing a reassuring hand over Meredith's. "I've never met the guy, but from what you've said, I'd be very surprised if he didn't show."

"You're not just saying that?" Meredith asked, smiling at her best friend. "He has been with his wife for a very long time… he's not going to give that up for me…"

Eve took a sip of her drink and shook her head. "You don't know that. And if he doesn't, IF, you'll still have us."

Meredith nodded, looking around the café. She spotted the clock on the wall, 6pm. Two hours.

"You guys are still coming, right?" Meredith asked, returning her attention to her friends.

"We'll stay out of the way, and if he shows we're out of there. If he doesn't turn up, we'll be right there for you," Carrie replied. "It'll be fine Mer."

* * *

At 7.45pm Meredith pulled into the parking lot opposite the ferry port.

"Well, this is it…" she said. "You'll be right here?"

Carrie and Eve nodded. "Right here."

Meredith took a deep breath and got out of the car, crossing the road to go and stand by the railings where she'd met Derek a few nights ago. She put her foot onto the first rung, and pulled herself up, so she could lean over the edge and see properly. The sea was calm and it was a nice mild night.

* * *

Addison headed out of the hospital to the parking lot and found Derek standing beside their car.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

He nodded at her and climbed into the driver's side of the car. Addison opened the back door seat and deposited her belongings before climbing into the passenger's seat beside Derek.

* * *

Meredith looked at her watch: 8.15pm. There was still time, he may still show, she told herself. She heard footsteps behind her and looked back expectantly, but it was just a woman walking her dog. Meredith smiled at her and then turned back to face the harbour.

* * *

Derek turned the key in the ignition and carefully reversed the car out of the space. The time on the dashboard read 8.15pm. He was about to pull away when he came to a halt and unfastened his seatbelt.

"Sorry, I've forgotten something," he said, as he jumped out of the car and ran back towards the hospital.

"But…" Addison called back, but Derek was gone. "Ok then," she said to herself.

Five minutes later he reappeared, out of breath and not carrying anything.

"I thought you forgot something.." Addison said, as Derek fastened his seatbelt and started driving off.

"I realised I didn't," he replied. "I have everything I need."

* * *

Meredith looked at her watch again, 8.45pm. She'd been here an hour and he hadn't appeared. He'd made his choice: he was staying with Addison. Meredith picked up a stone and chucked it into the still water, and watched the ripples grow. She heard footsteps approaching her, but this time didn't bother to turn round.

"Meredith?" a man's voice asked.

She turned round. "Yes…" she replied cautiously.

The man held out his hand. "Mark Sloane, Doctor Mark Sloane. I believe you're waiting for a friend of mine?"

Meredith shook his hand. "I was, but I'm not anymore."

"Oh? Why's that?" Mark asked, walking to stand beside Meredith and lean on the railings.

"He picked Addison," Meredith replied, turning back to look at the sea. "Not that I can blame him, she is his wife after all, and an incredibly attractive woman."

Mark laughed gently. "That she is, that she is."

"Dr Sloane, Mark… if you don't mind me asking, why are you here?" Meredith asked. "Did he send you?"

"Meredith, Derek is a very old and good friend of mine. He confided in me when he first thought he had feelings for you - I've seen him when he's talking about you, he's crazy about you. He's been looking at his watch all day today, obviously counting down to this moment." Mark replied.

"Then why isn't he here? I gave him the conditions, he knew the score - he's not here so he chose Addison," Meredith said, turning to walk away. "My friends are waiting for me, I have to go."

"No, don't…" Mark called. "Please, stay."

"Why?" Meredith asked, turning back to face him. "He's not coming, and I don't want your sympathy or whatever you're here to give me."

Mark looked over Meredith's shoulder and then looked back at her. "No, you're right. I'm sorry. If your friends are waiting you should go," and he walked off.

Confused, Meredith turned to walk back to the car, and did so slowly. And then she stopped as she noticed someone standing watching her. She watched him. The world around her seemed to stop and it seemed like the most important thing in the world for her just to look at him. She then walked slowly towards him and reached out a hand to gently touch his cheek, checking he was really there. Then his strong arms were pulling her towards him in a hug. "I'm sorry I'm late." he whispered.


	18. Chapter 18

Meredith and Derek stood wrapped in each other's arms, neither wanting to be the one to pull away or end the embrace.

"I thought you weren't coming," Meredith said into his chest, listening to his heart beat and enjoying his warmth. "I thought…"

"Let's go somewhere better to talk," Derek replied, finally pulling away and looking into Meredith's eyes. "Come on."

He took her hand and lead her to his car, opening the passenger door for her. Before she got in she looked over to where her friends had been parked and noticed they were now gone. She got into the car and put her seatbelt on, adjusting the position the seat was in. She felt her foot brush against something and looked down and saw a lipstick - Addison's. Meredith suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"Where are we going?" she asked, turning to look at Derek who was focused on the road ahead.

"You'll see," he replied.

Meredith was worried that he was going to take her to his house where she would have to have an awkward confrontation with his wife. She shuddered at the thought.

"Are you alright?" he asked, noticing the movement.

Meredith bit her lip. "We're not going to your house, are we? Or to see Addison…?" she asked, noticing Derek's jaw clench at the mention of her name. "Sorry."

He didn't say anything but instead kept his eyes on the road, until they eventually pulled off into a lane surrounded by trees. They soon emerged in a clearing and Meredith noticed a grey trailer pitched up ahead. Without saying a word Derek got out of the car, got something from the boot of the car and walked up to the door on the trailer. He opened it and went inside. Deciding she couldn't sit in the car forever, Meredith unfastened her seatbelt and followed him in. She found him sitting on a bed with his head in his hands.

"You didn't choose me," Meredith said, hovering near the door. "You just couldn't not turn up. You came because you wanted to tell me in person."

Derek looked up at her and stood up. He approached her slowly and when he reached her he gently brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I still remember the first day I met you, the first time I saw you, what it felt like the first time I touched you, when I kissed you," he said, softly. "I can remember your smell, and the way you drove me crazy with every smile. Do you believe in soul mates?" he asked, tilting his head.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Do you? Do you believe in fate? That people are made for each other?"

"I believe that there is a person out there for everyone. I found my person in Addison," he replied, and Meredith dropped her eyes to the floor. She couldn't bare to look at him, not when he was about to deal her a crushing blow. "Well, I thought I had, until that day when I walked through the door and found you." Derek tilted Meredith's head up to look at him. "You turned what I thought was a perfect world, upside down and inside out. Addison's not my person, you are. I know we haven't known each other long, but that doesn't matter. I knew, Meredith, from the very first moment I met you, I knew. And now," he took her hands in his. "Now, I want us to be together. I choose you."

He leaned down and kissed Meredith gently.

"You really choose me?" Meredith asked, not daring to believe it.

Derek led her over to the bed and they sat down. He smiled at her.

"I choose you," he repeated, looking straight into her eyes. "And now, I hope you don't hate me, but I have to go.."

"What?" Meredith looked up, confused.

"I haven't told Addison yet…" Derek replied. "But here," he said, handing her a bag. "Your friends gave me this for you. Get yourself settled, in what is going to be your new home, and I will go and talk to her - I have to do it now, it's not fair to drag it out. I'll be back soon."

Meredith took the bag. "We're going to live here?"

She hadn't thought about the practicalities of leaving Finn, and where they would live. Finn owned the house they had shared so she couldn't very well take Derek there and kick Finn out.

"I'm ending my eleven year marriage to Addison," Derek replied solemnly. "I can't make her homeless."

Meredith nodded. "Good luck."

Derek gave her one more kiss before exiting the trailer. He got in his car and drove the journey home. When he arrived he sat in his car preparing for what he was about to do. He thought about earlier.

**_FLASHBACK_**

_The time on the dashboard read 8.15pm. He was about to pull away when he came to a halt and unfastened his seatbelt._

_"Sorry, I've forgotten something," he said, as he jumped out of the car and ran back towards the hospital. He headed for the lifts, impatiently pressing on the buttons until the doors slid open, taking what felt like forever. When the doors opened Mark got off and Derek sighed in relief. _

_"Mark, I don't have long," he said. "I need you to go to the ferry port for me. A woman... Meredith Grey... will be waiting there. I need you to stop her from leaving."_

_"Why?" Mark asked. _

_"Just stall her, please. But don't say I sent you," Derek said. _

_"What is this all about?" Mark replied. "I'm still in my scrubs, if I go I'll have to go change first. Are you going to tell me why I'm stopping this woman?"_

_"I don't have time, just please go to the ferry port quickly and stop her." Derek said, turning and returning to his car. _

**_END FLASHBACK_**

He had picked Addison, but as they had been about to drive home he knew he had made the wrong decision. He just knew. And now he had to go inside and tell her. Addison had been his life for so long and he was going inside to end their eleven year marriage. He didn't know what he was going to say, or how he was going to do it. Deciding he couldn't put it off any longer, Meredith was waiting for him, he got out of the car and entered the house.

"Derek?" Addison's voice came wafting through from the living room. Taking a deep breath he entered the room. She was curled up on the sofa reading a book and sipping a glass of wine. When he entered the room she looked up and caught sight of his face. "What's wrong?"

He went and sat down beside her but didn't say anything.

"Derek?" she prompted, sitting up and putting her book and glass down. "Has something happened?"

"Addison, I'm so sorry, I don't know how to say this…" Derek started.

"That you're cheating on me?" Addison finished for him.

Derek looked up sharply, confused. "You know?"

"I'm an intelligent woman, Derek," Addison continued, lifting her glass and taking another sip of wine. "Your mood has been all over the place, we're hardly intimate anymore, and you don't look at me like you used to… like you look at her."

"I'm sorry Addison," Derek tried to take her hand but she pulled away. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen.

"To make it worse, I treated her," Addison continued, laughing bitterly. "I treated the woman who destroyed my marriage."

"Wait," Derek continued. He was confused. "You know about Meredith?"

"That night that you were late home from work, I saw you," she replied, finishing her wine and standing up to pour more. "I walked past the room, and you were giving her… the look. The Derek Shepherd look of love."

"The Derek Shepherd look of love?" Derek asked.

"Yeah," Addison replied, smiling slightly. "You were watching her like you were afraid she might break at any moment. You couldn't take your eyes off her, you couldn't stop smiling. Like you used to look at me…"

Derek suddenly wished he was with Meredith and Addison sensed this.

"I'm not going to beg you to stay," Addison said, sighing. "I should be shouting, throwing you out, going straight to Richard…"

"Addison…" Derek replied, turning right round to face her, concerned.

"I said I should," Addison replied. "But I have no energy to fight. I've been so busy trying to keep our marriage together the past couple of months. Fighting a losing battle. Just go."

Derek tried to keep talking but she just kept shutting him up so he left and drove back to the trailer. When he got there and went inside he found Meredith fast asleep curled up in the bed, so he tiptoed to join her, quietly slipping his shoes off and crawling beneath the covers. She had her hand protectively over her stomach. He smiled and shuffled over beside her and slipped his arm around her waist. He took in the smell of her, and the feeling of her body pressed against his. He felt her stir and she rolled over to look at him.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Did you tell her?"

"I didn't have to," he replied. "She knew."

"How?" Meredith asked, suddenly feeling more awake.

"She saw us together, that night," Derek replied. "The night in the hospital when we talked for hours. She saw us, and said I was giving you the 'Derek Shepherd look of love'".

Meredith couldn't help but let out a small laugh as Derek smiled at her.

"The what?" she asked.

"The Derek Shepherd look of love," he said, his face turning serious again. "When I look at you like I'm afraid you might break any minute, like I'm afraid I'm going to lose you." he put a hand gently on her cheek. "I'm sorry I have been so awful through all this. I was so caught up in worrying what might happen to me, I didn't stop to think about what was happening to you. I _am_ afraid that you might break at any minute, that I might lose you. After the way I acted, I'm not sure I deserve you."

Derek put a hand over his eyes and rubbed his face. Meredith propped her self up on her elbow.

"This is a new situation for both of us," she said softly. "But you're not going to lose me."

Meredith laid her head on his chest and he kissed the top of her head. They were both exhausted so fell asleep quickly, in each other's arms for the first time. Where they were supposed to be.


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: People were asking about drama after the last chapter - don't worry, there are plenty more twists and turns to come! Also, of course we need to answer the "Who's the daddy?" question... Enjoy :)_

* * *

Derek woke up in the darkness of the trailer and for a minute was confused as to where he was. He looked at the sleeping woman beside him and all the memories of the night before came flooding back. He leaned over and gently kissed her cheek before sliding out of the bed. He groped around until he found his watch which told him it was 4am. Putting his coat on, he stepped outside onto the decking and pulled a chair from the table which sat there. Sitting down, he ran his fingers through his hair and looked out into the vast expanse of land in front of him, his land. He and Addison had once upon a time had plans to build a house there, but they had never got round to it. When Addison had found out she was unlikely to conceive naturally, they had put the house plans on hold, not needing the extra space. How quickly things changed. Here he was now with a new woman he had barely known two months and ending his eleven year marriage to Addison. And in one way or another he was going to be a father of sorts. He_ had_ resigned himself to the fact that he would never have kids, and he and Addison had never discussed adoption. But now, here was Meredith with a baby on the way. A baby that was possibly his, but also possibly not. They weren't going to find out until the baby was born. He had only known about the pregnancy for a short time, but he already felt a strong connection to it, the baby. And Meredith…

Well, Meredith was a whole other story. Addison had been right, he was afraid he might lose Meredith. In some ways he didn't deserve her, he had behaved in an unforgivable manner towards her. She was right, he _had_ pursued her that night so to say they had been a mistake was wrong. And now here she was, forgiving him, and letting him into her life. He still had a lot to learn about her, and she had a lot to learn about him. But he didn't feel like they had rushed into things. It felt… right. As he had told her, he knew it from the very first moment he had met her, when he had walked into her hospital room and she had smiled at him for the first time. From that moment he was captivated. In all his years dating and then marrying Addison, he had never once been tempted to stray - but Meredith was different. He knew he loved her and that he had made the right decision. It was complicated, for oh so many reasons, but they loved each other and being together was the right decision. He looked down at his hand, he was still wearing his wedding ring. He twirled it around his finger and slipped it off, putting it in his pocket. And for the first time since he had talked to her the previous night, his thoughts turned to Addison. She definitely did not deserve any of this, to have her life turned upside down. For the love of her life to leave her in such circumstances. He had promised to be with her until death do them part. He rubbed his temples and then looked at his watch again. He had somehow been outside for an hour and decided it was time to go back in, in case Meredith woke up. He stood up and took a minute to stretch and re-entered the trailer.

* * *

Meredith opened her eyes and rolled over, expecting to find Derek there but he was gone. The trailer was pitch black so she assumed it was the middle of the night. She scrambled to the end of the bed and searched for her phone and discovered it was 4.15. Deciding Derek might feel like she did, she decided to let him be in whatever he was doing. She couldn't believe what had happened in the past six months. She had gone from being a happy, healthy woman, to a woman with a life threatening brain tumour. But her life had been saved, saved by a man she had fallen in love with. Yeah, she had loved Finn, but when Derek came into her life she realised what love really was. Her life saving surgery had saved her in more than one way. And now, here she was in another man's bed, with a baby who could belong to her ex or the love of her life. They had been together less than 24 hours but it felt so right. When she had thought he had stood her up at the ferry port, she felt crushed. Yet he had turned up. Her thoughts then turned to Finn. She couldn't begin to imagine what he must feel like, and he had every right to hate her. She had cheated on him, and then broken his foot for good measure. And now he had to live alone while his ex, and possibly his baby, shacked up with the neurosurgeon who had saved her life.

At the thought of her baby, Meredith lovingly rubbed her tummy. She was only just over a month pregnant, but she felt a strong love for whoever was growing in there. Whoever the father was, this baby was going to be so loved. She had never really planned for kids, they had always been a 'wait and see' for her and Finn. And then when her tumour had come along, that had put a halt to any baby talk at all. And it would be her luck to get knocked up when she cheated… Meredith shook her head, she shouldn't think like that. She was starting to think things happened for a reason. As weird as it sounded to her, maybe she had got the tumour for a reason - so she would meet Derek. She soon felt uneasy again - what if Derek wasn't here in the bed beside her because he had changed his mind. If he had gone, however, there was nothing she could do about it. She was stranded somewhere that she didn't know so couldn't go and look for him. She was sure he would come back for her in the morning, and she would return to Lexie's after a brief 12 hours of happiness. She heard movement from outside and pulled the covers up around her head, hoping it was Derek. She let out a sigh of relief as he entered the trailer.

"You're awake," he commented, removing his coat and getting back into bed. "Are you alright?"

"I just woke up," Meredith replied. "My brain was a hive of activity"

"What were you thinking about?" Derek asked.

"You, me, Finn, baby," Meredith said. "Everything."

"Me too," was Derek's reply. "Only I was thinking about Addison, and not Finn."

"You're not regretting this are you?" Meredith asked, biting her lip as soon as she did. She felt Derek shift his position in the bed before he answered. He gave her a light kiss on the lips.

"No," he said, gently running his hand over her cheek. "I just wish things could have happened a little differently, that we hadn't had to hurt people."

Meredith nodded in agreement.

"You should get some sleep," Derek said, kissing her again. Meredith nodded again and rolled over while Derek wrapped his arm around her.

* * *

Meanwhile, Addison woke up for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Sitting up and turning the bedside light on, she looked at the sleeping man beside her. Without opening his eyes, he stirred and smiled.

"Addy, I know I'm a highly attractive man," he said, smirking. "But please, stop staring at me"

"Should I go to the chief?" she asked, folding her arms and looking straight ahead pensively.

"Not this again," the man replied, reluctantly opening his eyes. "That would cause more harm than good, you could cost the man his job."

"Doesn't he deserve it?" Addison replied. "He screwed a patient, and cheated on me - me!"

"To be fair Addison," the man replied, rolling onto his side and running his finger up and down Addison's arm. "You're hardly an angel, and you were doing the same with me…"

"You're not a patient," Addison replied.

"I'm not," the man nodded. "I'm an incredibly talented, and incredibly attractive top notch plastic surgeon."

Addison rolled her eyes. "You're so modest, Mark".

She turned the light off and lay back down in bed. "I'm going to talk to the chief tomorrow."

"We'll discuss it in the morning," Mark said, dismissing her claim and instantly falling back to sleep.

"We'll see," Addison said quietly, rolling over and trying to sleep again.


	20. Chapter 20

The following day Derek drove Meredith to Lexie's flat so she could collect her car and some more of her things. He had to go into work and so it seemed like the perfect opportunity for her to do so. As she opened the car door to get out he put a hand around hers.

"Meredith…" he said, causing her to sit back in her seat and turn to face him. He put his hand onto her cheek and stroked it gently, smiling at her. "Everything is going to be alright, you know."

She smiled back at him and leant in to kiss him. "I know." she said, getting out of the car and waving at him as he drove off. After his late night thinking session a lot of things had become clearer to him and he knew what he had to do.

* * *

Addison sat down in front of her mirror and started to blow dry her hair. Behind her, Mark exited the bathroom dressed in nothing but a towel which was tied loosely around his waste.

"Are you still going to the chief?" he asked, removing the towel and pulling on his discarded clothes.

She continued drying her hair either not hearing him or refusing to comment. When she had finished she proceeded with getting ready for work, not saying a word.

"So, are you going to the chief?" Mark asked again, this time making sure that she could not ignore him by sitting directly in front of her. "Think about what it will do to his career."

She was looking at herself in the mirror and at Mark's final statement she turned around.

"He should have thought about that before he jumped into bed with a patient," she replied, lifting her coat and bag and disappearing from the room. Mark stood up and followed her down the stairs. "I am not doing it to be spiteful, Mark," she commented. "It's for the best."

"How is it for the best?" Mark asked as they reached the bottom of the stairs and Addison went from room to room looking for her car keys. She stopped to look at him.

"If this comes out in two, three, four months, or half a year down the line, think about what is at stake. The consequences could be far worse for him, and us," she said, continuing the search for the missing car keys. "If it comes out now, maybe things won't be so bad."

"But what if the consequences in the future aren't so bad?" Mark asked, not thinking of helping to look for the keys, instead standing with his hands in his pockets.

"Her… Meredith's baby is under my care," Addison said, triumphantly holding up the keys and heading towards the front door. "Meredith is my patient, and I want to do right by my patient. This isn't about her stealing my husband," she said. "This is about making sure that the right thing is done."

"Because you know all about the right thing," Mark replied. "Me and you have been having a thing behind Derek's back for months…"

Addison ignored him and got into the car. She turned the key in the ignition and waved a hand at the empty seat beside her, raising her eyebrow. "Are you coming or not?"

Mark sighed and got into the car. He wasn't due at work for another six hours, but he wanted to try and stop Addison doing something she might regret by going to the chief. As they pulled into the hospital car-park they both noticed Derek's car already there. Mark looked at Addison but she was staring ahead as she parked.

"You don't have to say anything you know…" he said, hoping she would change her mind before she went in.

She stopped in her seat for a moment before getting out of the car and striding off. She entered the hospital and without a moment's hesitation headed for the chief's office. As she raised her hand to knock the door opened and Richard appeared looking troubled.

"Ah Addison," he said, opening the door further and beckoning inside. "I was just about to come and find you."

Confused Addison stepped inside and took a seat in the chair Richard had pulled out for her. He sat down opposite her and removed his glasses, rubbing his temples with his hand. Without saying a word he handed her an envelope. She took it and opened it, removing its contents and smoothing out the letter inside.

_Dear Chief Webber,_

_I am writing to inform you of my intentions to leave Seattle Grace Hospital. In my capacity as a surgeon, and most importantly as a doctor, I betrayed my position of trust by entering into a relationship with a patient. While this relationship did not start with a current patient, I believe I was having an emotional affair with her while she was in my care. It was not until after she was discharged from my immediate care that anything happened, but as she is technically still a patient, I know what I have done is wrong. I have also caused great upset and discomfort to Dr Addison Montgomery-Shepherd, my wife. It would be unfair to expect her to continue to work with me. My inner turmoil over this relationship caused me to become agitated and unpleasant towards other doctors in the hospital, and for that I am truly sorry. I do not want to bring the hospital into any reputation disputes which I believe would be the case if I remained in my post. If disciplinary action needs to be taken against me, then I accept this. But I hope, that as a former employee of the hospital, any action can be directed at me and not inform or harm the hospital._

_Please accept this as my resignation._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Dr Derek Shepherd._

Addison remained silent as she finished reading the letter. When she had done, she re-folded it and put it back in the envelope.

"What the hell is he thinking?" Richard asked, finally breaking the silence. "Sabotaging his marriage, his career for some woman?"

"Richard," Addison replied, taking a deep breath. "It's not just some woman. Look, I don't know why I am saying this, but he loves her. I know Derek, I mean I should having spent a long period of time with him. You know him too, he doesn't enter into things on a whim, without time… without thought. You can't help who you fall in love with."

Richard tilted his head, chewing on the end of his glasses.

"I can't afford to lose the top neurosurgeon in the country," he said, putting his glasses back on and looking at the envelope on the table.

"What would happen to him if action was taken?" Addison asked.

"Well, it depends," Richard said, putting his hands together. "I'm assuming from this letter, nothing actually happened until after she was out of the hospital?" he asked, looking at Addison for confirmation. She nodded her head. "It's technically still against all sorts of rules, but the board might not lean too heavily on him."

Addison sighed and put a hand out to squeeze Richard's. "Keep that letter," she said standing up. "Let me talk to him."

Picking up her belongings she smiled at Richard before turning and leaving his office. She headed for the Attendings' Lounge and found Derek sat at the table in the middle of the room in his scrubs - he was alone. Closing the door, she went and she joined him at the table.

"Richard showed me your letter," she said, tucking her hair behind her ears and then putting her hands together in front of her on the table. "You don't have to leave on my account."

"I do," Derek replied, looking directly at her. "You've done nothing wrong, you don't deserve my constant presence reminding you of what I did."  
"You can't just throw away your job like that," Addison continued. "You've worked hard to get to where you are. You're the best at what you do, you can't just give up."

"Why do you want me to stay?" Derek asked.

"You're not the only one in the wrong," Addison sighed. "Me and Mark… we've been having an affair for months. This morning I was all set to report you to the chief, but Mark tried to stop me, and I realise now it would have been hypocritical of me."

"You and Mark," Derek repeated. "How long?"

"Derek, it doesn't matter how long," Addison replied. "You just need to know that you aren't the only one to blame here and you shouldn't quit your job."

"How long?" he asked again, gritting his teeth.

"About five months," Addison said, reaching out to try and touch Derek's hand, but he pulled it away from her. "I'm sorry."

Derek stood up and exited the lounge, heading straight for Richard's office. He knocked the door and waited until he was permitted to enter and when he did he located his letter on the table and ripped it into four pieces.

"I'm withdrawing my resignation," he said, as Richard watched on. "I will take whatever disciplinary action is thrown at me, but I won't apologise for what has happened. I love Meredith, this isn't some fling Richard. I love her."

Richard merely nodded and picked up the letter and put it in the bin.


	21. Chapter 21

Two months had passed since Derek had retracted his resignation. He had been given a warning by the board and divorce proceedings between him and Addison had begun. He and Meredith were still living in his trailer and as every week passed, Meredith had started to show. The alarm went off, filling the trailer with the sound of buzzing and ringing. Meredith sleepily opened her eyes and stuck her head under a pillow while Derek got out of bed and turned the alarm off. He climbed into the shower and proceeded to get ready for work.

"Derek…" Meredith's muffled voice came from under the pillow.

"Yes?" he replied as he sat down on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on.

"How are things with Addison currently?" Meredith asked.

Derek stopped and turned round. Meredith still had her head planted firmly under the pillow. "Well, we're currently in the middle of divorce proceedings because I ended our 11 year marriage for a woman I fell in love with while still married to her, and you may be having my baby while she is unable to conceive naturally. She is in a relationship with Mark, and I have hardly spoken to them since she told me not to quit my job. I don't think things are so great. Why are you asking me this anyway?" Derek asked, continuing to get ready.

Meredith brought her head out from under the pillow. "Because I have a scan with her today, and I'm nervous."

"Ah," Derek replied. "You didn't mention the scan before."

"Well, I didn't think you'd want to come - at this moment in time the baby could be yours, could be Finn's, the only thing that I'm 110% certain about is that it's mine." Meredith finished, smiling slightly.

Derek climbed back onto the bed until he was hovering over her and looked into her eyes. "Regardless of if this baby is mine or not, I'm still going to be in his or her life. Even if I'm not their real dad I will love them," he said, smiling and leaning down to kiss Meredith. "It will be fine, Addison is extremely professional - it may be awkward but she won't do anything to you."

"I hope not," Meredith replied. "Or I'm holding you responsible."

Derek playfully hit Meredith with his pillow and then crawled off the bed. "I'm off to work, I may see you there later," and with that, he lifted his stuff and left the trailer. Meredith threw her head back onto her pillow and closed her eyes and was soon fast asleep again.

* * *

Meredith walked into the hospital nervously - she'd only seen Addison once since Derek had left her and it had not gone well. Now she would be alone with her while she treated her medically. She went to the correct floor and was taken straight to Dr Montgomery.

"Afternoon Meredith," Addison said, her voice cool and not giving anything away. She forced a smile which was not in the slightest bit sincere, but Meredith recognised it as her way of saying that they were doctor and patient and any personal issues were not going to get in the way. "Can you lie on the bed please?"

Meredith did as she was asked and lay back on the bed as Addison prepared to do the scan. "This may feel cold," she warned Meredith. "Ok, here we go."

Addison studied the screen pressing buttons every so often. "Good strong heartbeat," she said, turning the screen to Meredith. "And there's your baby. Would you like a print out?"

Meredith nodded, as Addison cleaned her up and allowed her to sit up. Without saying anything she set about getting Meredith a print out of the scan and handed it to her.

"Thank you," Meredith said, taking it and tucking it into her purse. "Listen, Addison…"

Addison held up a hand to stop her. "I am your doctor, I will treat you in the same way I treat any other patient, I will not discriminate against you because you stole my husband. But we're not going to talk about it, do I make myself clear? This is my workplace."

Meredith nodded and picked up her belongings. "I understand."

As she was leaving the hospital she bumped into Cristina. "Meredith, what are you doing here?" Cristina asked, hugging her.

"Baby scan," Meredith replied.

"Oh - wasn't that awkward?" Cristina asked, leading Meredith over to some seats.

"It was awkward, but not unbearable. She's a professional woman, she's not going to let this affect her work." Meredith replied, reaching into her purse and bringing out the picture. She showed it to Cristina.

"Oh, is that it?" Cristina asked, peering closely at the scan. "Cool."

Meredith laughed at her friend - Cristina wasn't very good with dealing with sensitive issues.

"What are we looking at?" a voice behind them caused both women to jump.

"I better get back to work, see you later Meredith! Dr Shepherd.." Cristina called as Derek sat down beside Meredith. Meredith handed him the photo and smiled again.

"It's cute," Derek said looking at it and then at Meredith. "Just like you."

Meredith rolled her eyes and took the picture back. "Meredith!" a voice called, causing Derek and Meredith to look up.

"Finn?" Meredith asked, standing up. "What are you doing here?"

"I had a check up on my foot, and Lexie let slip that you had your scan today," Finn said, looking quite sheepish. "I should have called first before just turning up, I'm sorry.." he nodded a hello in Derek's direction.

"No, it's alright," Meredith said, handing him the scan. "Well this is it - this is my baby."

Finn looked at the picture smiling. At that point Derek stood up and kissed Meredith's cheek. "I'll give you two some time alone, I'll see you later."

"Want to go and get a drink?" Meredith asked, taking the picture back from Finn.

He nodded and he and Meredith headed off.

* * *

"So, how are things going?" Meredith asked Finn as she sipped her juice.

"As well as can be expected," Finn replied, playing with a napkin. "Listen Meredith, I wanted to talk to you about the baby."

Meredith nodded. "I think it's a good idea that we do talk."

"I know that there is no way of knowing whose it is until after birth, but until that moment there is every chance that it is mine, so I can't just walk away," Finn started off, ripping the napkin into shreds. "But, if it turns out it's Derek's baby, I will stay well clear, but I'd like to be involved in the pregnancy and maybe, even if it's not mine, we could still be friends?"

Meredith stretched forward and took Finn's hands. "I'd like you to be involved, and I would like to, over time, still be friends."

They smiled at each other and then continued to drink their drinks.

* * *

Later that night, as they were lying in bed, Derek rolled over onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "So, tell me to butt out if it's none of my business, but what did Finn say?"

Keeping her eyes closed Meredith answered. "He wants to be involved with the pregnancy, he would like it if we could still be friends, and if the baby turns out to be yours he will take it in his stride and back off."

"Seems fair enough," Derek replied. "But if it's his baby, do I have to back off?"

Meredith opened one eye and looked at Derek. "No Derek, you will not have to back off."

"So, if it's his, you two aren't getting back together are you?" Derek asked, running his hand up and down Meredith's arm.

With both eyes closed again Meredith replied. "No Derek, if the baby is his we are not getting back together."

"Good," Derek replied, rolling so he was on his back again looking up at the ceiling. "Hey, Mer?"

"What Derek?" Meredith asked, sighing.

"I have been thinking - a trailer isn't really a suitable place to raise a baby, we should maybe look for somewhere else." Derek said. "Or we could build our own house on all this spare land I have."

Meredith sat up and looked down at Derek. "Derek Shepherd, I love you, I won't be getting back together with my ex when the baby is born regardless of who the father is, and no, the trailer isn't suitable for raising a baby in, so yes, we will have to look for alternative living arrangements. I quite like the sound of building our own house, but it's late, I want to sleep - so enough with the questions?" she said, lying back down again.

Derek kissed her and then wrapped an arm around her showing her that he was ready to sleep. They lay in silence for about 5 minutes until Derek whispered "Meredith?" In response he got a kick in the shin. He laughed. "Goodnight."


	22. Chapter 22

Derek was sitting in the Attendings' Lounge eating his lunch when Addison approached him with an envelope in her hand. She sat down across from him at the table and slid the envelope to him.

"What's this?" he asked, putting his food down and picking up the envelope to look at it. He put his head in his hands when he recognised the handwriting.

"You haven't told them yet?" Addison replied, raising her eyebrow. "It's been two and a half months Derek, don't you think it's about time you informed your family that we aren't together anymore? Shouldn't you maybe tell them about Meredith?"

"There has never been an appropriate time to bring it up," Derek replied, opening the envelope and slipping out the piece of cardboard inside. "I can't believe they still do this."

"It's a chance for everyone to catch up," Addison replied. "And I don't think the time is ever going to be right to tell them you dumped me for a pregnant patient."

Derek read the card, although he did not need to. It was the same at it always was - his mother's neat handwriting inviting him and Addison to the same party they had every year, as a sort of catch up with the family.

"So, what are we going to do?" Addison asked. "We can't just all not turn up, and you have to tell them sometime about Meredith and their potential new family member."

"They will have a new family member, there is nothing potential about it," Derek replied, raising his head to look at Addison. "But I can't just throw Meredith in at the deep end and expect her to deal with my family all together in one room, along with friends of the family."

"Well, Mark and I are going to go," Addison replied making to stand up. "Let us know what you decide to do, because whatever happens, they're going to know we're not together anymore."

Addison left the room, leaving Derek to mull over what he was going to do. He knew she was right, he had to tell them at some stage, and he did appear to be hiding Meredith away. He wasn't ashamed of her, he just didn't know how to break it to his family, his mother especially. She was fond of Addison so he didn't think she would take too kindly to his situation. His sisters could be difficult as well. When he got back to the trailer it was 4am and he slipped silently into bed beside Meredith. In the morning, when he woke up, he found her gone with a note on her pillow asking him to meet her at Lexie's flat so he got up and dressed and then drove there. Meredith buzzed him into the building and he took the stairs two at a time, eager to see what it was about.

"Hey you," she said as she opened the door and kissed him. "Sleep well?"

He nodded and entered the apartment and noticed that they were alone.

"Where's Lexie?" he asked.

"She's at work," Meredith replied, nodding in the direction of the sofa and implying that they should go and sit down there. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Well I need to talk to you too," Derek said, sitting down. "But you go first."

"My dad wants to meet you," Meredith blurted out as she played with Derek's hand. "We've been together for nearly three months now, it is probably about time you two met."

Derek took in this information and then he smiled at Meredith, laughing slightly.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"Well," he replied, running a hand through his hair. "Every year my mother throws a big party for family and friends of the family, and I received the invitation in the post this morning. It's a fancy affair, black tie. You see… they don't know about you yet. They don't know about me and Addison. They don't know about Addison and Mark. I don't want to put pressure on you, putting you in a situation like that, but I can't not go…"

"Right…" Meredith said, sighing as she digested what Derek had just said. "You haven't told your family about me?" she asked, removing her hand from Derek's.

"Meredith, it's not that I don't want to," he replied. "I love you, and I am sure they will love you too, but they can be a bit quick to judge and I don't want them to react badly to you."

"If you want me there, I'll come," Meredith replied, sitting up straight. "I'm a tough person, I got through brain surgery for goodness sake. I can take disapproving family members."

Derek couldn't help but smile. "I got you through brain surgery…" he joked. "I would like it very much if you came. Be warned though, Addison and Mark will also be there, it could be a very awkward situation…"

Meredith reached out and placed Derek's hand on her ever growing bump. "The three of us will get through it together."

* * *

The following day Meredith met Cristina for coffee and as they were drinking, Meredith sprung her surprise on her friend.

"I need help," she said. "I need you to help me find a dress."

Cristina put her coffee down and raised her eyebrows quizzically at Meredith.

"Are you sure you want_ me_ to help?" Cristina asked. "What is it for? I'm not sure I am the right person for this job…"

"That's exactly why I chose you," Meredith replied. "I need no fuss, no nonsense, I just need to pick a dress and you can tell me simply yes or no if it looks alright. I need a dress that says I am good enough for a top neurosurgeon and am not a whore who chases married men."

"What is this dress for?" Cristina asked.

"Derek's family have some annual party, it's a big deal apparently. They don't know about me, or my baby, or the fact Addison and Derek split up. So I need to make a great impression," Meredith replied. "I made out to Derek it was no big deal, but Cristina… I'm terrified."

"Hang on, let me get this straight… Derek is taking you to this party without any prior warning…?" she asked. "Sort of like … 'surprise!'?"

Meredith nodded.

"Can I come?" Cristina asked. "It sounds like my sort of party."

Meredith rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively towards Cristina.

"Thanks for the support," she said laughing. "Now drink up, we have a dress to buy."

* * *

Later that evening when Meredith returned to the trailer she found Derek sitting on the decking, talking to a man who looked vaguely familiar to her but she could not place him. When she approached he stood up and held a hand out to her.

"You must be Meredith," he said, shaking her hand. "I'm Richard Webber, Chief of Surgery and a friend of Derek's."

"It's very nice to meet you," Meredith replied, suddenly aware she was in the presence of Derek's boss and mentor, who also had a close relationship with Addison.

He seemed to sense this and he turned back to Derek to say his goodbyes. Meredith hovered near the door to the trailer, not wanting to seem rude by disappearing inside. He nodded a goodbye in her direction before heading for his car and driving off. Meredith then returned to her car to pick up her bags from her shopping trip with Cristina and hunted for somewhere to store them, sighing in exasperation when she realised how little room there was. Sensing her frustration Derek approached her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I have a surprise for you," he said, smiling at her with his eyes shining. "But first, you have to put this on."

He handed her a blindfold and helped her fix it over her eyes.


	23. Chapter 23

Meredith stood patiently and waited, her eyes covered by the blindfold, as Derek helped her get into her coat. He then guided her out of the trailer and towards the car. Letting go of her briefly, he opened the car door and helped her sit down.

"Where are we going?" she asked as he fastened her seatbelt for her.

"You'll soon see," he replied, leaning in to kiss her lips gently before disappearing around the car to get in the driver's side. He took his keys out of his pocket and slid them into the ignition, turned the car on and into gear.

"Is the blindfold really necessary?" Meredith asked as they set off to wherever they were going.

"Yes," Derek replied as he continued to drive without saying another word. After about twenty minutes, when Meredith had given up asking if they were nearly there, they eventually came to a halt. She heard Derek get out of the car and he then helped her out. He took hold of her hand, and put his other arm around her waist, so he could guide her.

"Careful, there's a step here," he warned as Meredith took little steps, afraid of falling over, despite having Derek's strong arm around her. She gripped him harder as she tentatively tried to find the step he was talking about. Derek then removed more keys from his pocket and Meredith heard a door being opened. She was then guided through it and the door was closed behind them. Derek moved to remove her blindfold and as her eyes readjusted to the light, she looked around her. She was standing in the large foyer of a house with stairs directly in front of her and to her left there was an archway.

"Where are we?" she asked, but Derek merely lifted his finger to his lips and led her through the archway into a large living room.

"Your new home," Derek replied, looking around the room with a smile on his face. "If you want it to be."

Before Meredith could reply, Derek had wandered out of the room so she followed him into a spacious kitchen. They walked in silence around other rooms, heading upstairs and investigating the bedrooms and bathroom, before they came to a stop outside one last door.

"The best room of all," Derek said simply as he swung open the door. "Our bedroom."

Both of them stepped inside and Meredith wandered around, running her hands over the furniture, peering into the ensuite. She then went and sat on the edge of the bed, and noticed how soft it was.

"Well, what do you think?" Derek, who was still standing near the doorway, asked, rubbing his hands together.

"It's beautiful," Meredith replied, taking another look around the bedroom. "It's really really beautiful."

"Just say the word Meredith," Derek said, walking towards her and sitting down. "Say the word, and it is our house."

"When you said about finding somewhere else to raise the baby, I thought you meant an apartment, somewhere simple," Meredith admitted, rubbing her bump as she spoke. "Not this."

Derek took her hand in his and turned to look at her sincerely. "Well we could do that," he replied. "But I was thinking about our future, Meredith. I want somewhere where we can start our lives together, properly. Somewhere that has no memories of other people, somewhere we can create our own memories. Somewhere where, if we decide in the future to have more kids, we can raise them. This house is perfect."

Meredith couldn't help but grin at him. "Suddenly everything has become very real," she said, tears stinging her eyes. "A house for the future, for more babies, for us. Let's do it."

Derek leant in and kissed her and Meredith giggled as they fell back onto the bed, their new bed. Their kiss grew to be more passionate and Derek started tugging on her coat.

"I didn't mean do that," Meredith replied. "What if someone comes in?"

"Who cares?" Derek asked as he kissed her neck and moved her so she was sitting up. "I have the keys anyway," he said as he slipped her coat off her shoulders and dropped it on the floor. "It's going to be our house soon enough, we may as well christen the bed."

Meredith contemplated this for mere seconds before pulling Derek towards her and laying back on the bed again. He shuffled her up to the top and started to remove the rest of her clothes. It was the first time they had been properly intimate since they had slept together when he had called at her house having failed to resist her. Something had been hanging over them but now, with the thought of the new house and a fresh start, something had changed. When the last item of clothing had been discarded Derek stopped and raised himself so he could look into Meredith's eyes. The feel of her skin against his felt so right.

"Didn't you know it's rude to keep a woman waiting?" Meredith asked, raising her eyebrow at Derek as he ran his eyes all over her body. Finally he stopped and leaned into kiss her once again.

When they had finished Derek ran his finger up and down Meredith's arm as they lay in silence on the bed.

"Wow," he whispered as he looked at her. "That was amazing."  
"It was," Meredith agreed, nodding and cupping Derek's face with her hand so she could kiss him again.

"You know," Derek said, rolling on top of her once again. "I'm sure there are many other places in our new house we could christen…"

He leaned down to kiss her but stopped when they both heard a key turn in the lock downstairs.

"I thought you had the keys!?" Meredith said, pushing Derek off and rushing to find her clothes which seemed to have been scattered around the bed.

"I do have the keys," Derek replied, also getting up and pulling his trousers on. "The realtor obviously has another set." he said, laughing.

"It's not funny!" Meredith replied, pulling on her top back to front and trying her best to straighten the bed sheets. She couldn't help but laugh herself as she heard people climb the stairs and talking. She was just pulling her coat on when the door opened and a woman in a suit with a couple entered the room.

"Oh I'm sorry, are you in the middle of a viewing?" the woman asked, looking between Meredith and Derek.

"Yes," Derek replied, as his eyes caught sight of Meredith's bra which she had forgotten to put back on. He tried to nudge her to notify her of it but she was not taking the hint. "We were given the keys so we could view the property at our own convenience. We were just finished," he said, as he exchanged a look with Meredith and they both smiled, trying not to laugh. At that moment the woman caught sight of Meredith's bra on the floor at the same time Meredith did. Meredith stooped to pick it up as she flushed red, thrusting it in her pocket and edging towards the door of the room.

"We'll be in touch to make an offer," Derek said as he followed Meredith and they hurried down the stairs. As they made their way out of the glass front door he caught sight of their reflections. "I think it's perfectly safe to say they knew exactly what we were up to."

He tried to smooth his hair down as it was sticking up at all angles. He followed Meredith to the car and opened the door to let her in, before starting to drive them back to the trailer.

"Do you think they'll still let us make an offer on the house?" Meredith asked.

"We probably scared that other couple off," Derek replied, reaching over to rub Meredith's leg. "We'll get it, don't worry."

"Thank you for what happened in there," Meredith said, biting her lip. "This might sound stupid, but I feel like we're free of something that was hanging over us. Being in the trailer made me feel like we were hiding away, like it was still wrong, like we couldn't do anything because of Addison and Finn. But now…" she trailed off, looking at Derek for a reaction.

"I feel the same," he replied. When they arrived back at the trailer, for the first time since they had moved in together Meredith felt comfortable enough to change in front of Derek, without wanting to hide herself away.

"Meredith," Derek said when they were in bed. "When you were out earlier I called my sister Amelia. I told her about me and Addison, about me and you. I'm hoping she will tell the rest of the family about you before the party. Just turning up with you would be too much I think, for everyone. And just so you know, I'm not ashamed of you, I just didn't know how to break it to them."

"I know you're not ashamed of me," Meredith replied. "We'll get through the party, don't you worry."

Derek kissed the top of her head in response and then settled in for a night's sleep.

* * *

_PS. For imagination purposes, the house they're buying is the house 'real' Meredith lived in in Grey's ;-)_


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Apologies that it took so long for this chapter to be uploaded, I've been really busy! Thank you for all the comments, as usual, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story :)_

* * *

The day of the Shepherd's annual party had finally arrived. Derek and Meredith had flown into New York the day before and were staying in what Meredith had described as a palace. She had never experienced a hotel quite as grand as the one where the party would be and where she and Derek were staying. There had been an awkward moment at reception when the woman checking them in and asked about the whereabouts of Addison. It had transpired that she had worked at the hotel for a number of years and was always on the desk when it was time for the Shepherd's party so she had got to know them all over the years. However, as Meredith had warned herself, she had more to come when she finally came face-to-face with Derek's disapproving family. Meredith sighed as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong?" Derek, who had just come out of the bathroom, asked.

"Your family are going to hate me, aren't they?" Meredith replied, playing with the sleeves of her cardigan.

Derek dried his hair with the towel he was carrying and then folded it neatly, setting it on the desk. He then went to sit down beside Meredith and put an arm around her, rubbing her arm reassuringly.

"They won't hate you," he replied, smiling at her and brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "All you have to do is give them one smile and they will fall in love with you like I did, but not in the same_ way_ that I did…"

Meredith couldn't help smiling, despite knowing that Derek was just trying to make her feel better. They both knew that there was the potential his family would not take well to Meredith, especially regarding the situation they now found themselves in with Meredith pregnant and not knowing who the father was.

"Go and get ready," Derek said softly as he cupped Meredith's chin with his hand, leaning down to lay a kiss on her nose. "It will all work out alright."

Meredith sighed again and stood up, lifting her bag and disappearing into the bathroom. Forty-five minutes later when she had not reappeared Derek tapped gently on the door.

"Meredith," he said. "Are you alright in there?"

There was no answer and instead the door was unlocked from the inside and the door opened slowly. Derek let out a low whistle when he saw Meredith who was standing awkwardly by the door.

"Do I look alright? I mean, I don't know how fancy this party will be…" Meredith asked, glancing at herself in the mirror.

Derek looked her up and down. She was wearing a long black dress with a slightly plunging neckline, and a waist which discreetly hid her baby bump so it was not instantly noticeable. Her hair was in loose curls around her face and she had added make-up, which he rarely saw her wear very much of.

"Well, say something!" she urged.

"You look…" Derek replied, holding his hands out. "You look perfect."

He took her hands in his and pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her.

"So perfect that I wish we didn't have a party to go to," he whispered as he kissed her neck.

"Derek, stop," Meredith giggled as his breath tickled her, but he persisted, before landing a kiss on her mouth. He raised his arm behind her head and then nodded.

"We have time…" he said, backing slowly towards the bed as Meredith protested.

"Derek, I have to meet your family soon," she said, feebly trying to push him away as he started unzipping the back of her dress. "I need to remain calm, composed."

"I think this will calm you right down," Derek smiled as he turned and rested her on the bed, as he removed his bow-tie and unbuttoned the top button on his shirt. "Trust me."

Meredith rolled her eyes but did not protest, smiling at him and biting her lip.

Twenty minutes later Meredith was zipping her dress back up and trying to make her hair look more presentable.

"See," Derek said as he put his tie back on, looking at himself and her in the mirror. "Don't you feel more relaxed?"

Merideth had to admit, he was right. For those twenty minutes she had forgotten all about the impending doom she had felt. Soon they were both ready to go and he took her in his arms once more before they left the room.

"Derek!" Meredith exclaimed. "Again?!"

"I just wanted to let you know, that whatever happens tonight, I love you," he said, leaning in to kiss her. "And always will."

"I love you too," Meredith replied, before taking a deep breath and turning towards the door. "Let's do this."

* * *

Meanwhile, Addison and Mark, who were also staying in the hotel had made their way to the hotel bar.

"Well, tonight will be fun," Mark said, as he sipped his drink.

Addison raised her eye-brow at him in response. "Really? A party with my ex-husband's family, our close friends, everyone looking at me thinking 'poor Addison, ditched for a patient'," she replied, taking a large sip of her own drink. "I am going to need a lot of these to get me through tonight."

"Well what about _me_?" Mark asked.

"What about you?" Addison said.

"Well I'm Derek's former best friend, who slept with his wife behind his back, and then shacked up with her," he replied, standing up to straighten his suit. "Not to mention the Shepherds are like family to me…"

"Oh boo hoo, poor Mark," Addison raised a hand to her eyes and pretended to wipe a tear away. "I'm sure you'll survive."

"Addy?" a voice behind them caused Addison to jump. She turned around and then stood up, wrapping her arms around the woman.

"Naomi!" she exclaimed, as Mark embraced Naomi's husband Sam in a hug.

"Where's Derek?" Sam asked innocently, having not been informed of the current situation.

Addison and Mark exchanged a glance. "Well, Derek is probably upstairs right now with his girlfriend, Meredith," Addison replied, as Naomi and Sam's eyes widened in shock.

"And you're alright with this?" Sam asked.

"Sam!" Naomi said, hitting him with her purse.

Addison smiled. "We're not together anymore," she replied. "I'm with Mark now."

"What?!" Naomi replied, sitting down on an unoccupied bar stool. "Have I unwittingly entered some weird parallel universe?"

Addison shook her head, draining the rest of her drink with one final gulp. "I'll explain later. All you need to know is Derek and I are in the process of a divorce, his girlfriend is pregnant but it might not be his baby, and I am with Mark."

"Wow," Naomi replied, taking it all in. "I was not expecting that. We always thought you and Derek would be the ones to stand the test of time…"

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but we have not," Addison said. "You and Sam will just have to go the distance."

It was then the turn of Naomi and Sam to exchange a glance which Addison instantly picked up on.

"You're not…?" she asked, waving a finger between the two. They both shook their heads.

"Well looks like I'm the only one who hasn't had a failed marriage," Mark piped up. "See this is why you don't get married."

Addison, Naomi and Sam all turned to give Mark a look. They then all noticed Derek and Meredith making their way through the bar to the function room where the party was being held.

"Naomi, Sam," Derek said when he reached them, embracing them both in hugs. "Addison, Mark," he said as he nodded at the other two.

"It is great to see you," Naomi replied, rubbing Derek's arm. "And you Meredith, it's erm nice to meet you," she said leaning in to hug Meredith, which turned more into an awkard pat on the back.

"Nice to meet you too," Meredith replied, taken aback by the sudden embrace.

"I'm Sam," Sam said, leaning across to shake Meredith's hand. "We're old friends of Addison and Derek."

Meredith smiled at them both and then the group of six stood in awkward silence until Derek noted that the party was due to start and they should probably not be late. Walking towards the function room Meredith's grip tightened on Derek's hand.

"It's going to be alright," he whispered as he opened the door and stepped inside.


	25. Chapter 25

Meredith took a sharp intake of breath as she entered the room and noticed the amount of people there. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a woman with silver hair striding towards them.

"Derek!" she called with her arms outstretched, embracing him in a hug. She then did the same with Addison, Mark, Naomi and Sam before stopping to look at Meredith. "And you must be Meredith," she said. "I'm Carolyn Shepherd, Derek's mother."

"It's very nice to meet you," Meredith replied, unsure as to whether or not she should shake her hand or offer a hug, but the decision was made for her when Carolyn stepped forward and hugged her.

"It's lovely to meet you too," Carolyn smiled, genuinely. The others had dispersed to greet various other friends and family members, leaving Derek, Meredith and Carolyn standing alone. "I only wish we had found out about you sooner, got a chance to know you before all this madness."

She cast a look in Derek's direction, silently scolding him for not telling her sooner about Meredith. He smiled apologetically and put an arm around Meredith's waist.

"Well, here she is," he said. "Where are the others?"

"Derek!" his question was answered, as a woman with long dark hair approached him and hugged him. Meredith noticed a striking resemblance between the two and stood patiently waiting to be introduced.

"Meredith, this is my youngest sister Amelia," Derek said. "Amelia, this is Meredith."

Amelia smiled at her. "It's very nice to meet you," she said. "So, how did you two meet?"

Meredith appreciated the conversation and despite knowing that Derek had told her how they had met, she was pleased she was not being made to feel like a bad person.

"I saved her life," Derek replied, a smile flickering on his lips. "She fell for my skills and good looks, and the rest, as they say is history."

Meredith, Amelia and Carolyn laughed and Meredith exchanged a look with Derek. He smiled at her, his eyes telling her that she was doing a great job. So far so good, Meredith thought to herself - she felt she had won over his mom, as well as Amelia, but she still had three sisters left to meet and was not sure if they would react quite in the same way.

Carolyn and Amelia disappeared to go and talk to other people and Derek lowered his head to Meredith's ear.

"See, they love you," he whispered, rubbing her back and guiding her towards the drinks table. Meredith lifted an orange juice. "But, I have to warn you, because…" he said, but was cut off as two other women approached him.

"Meredith," he said. "This is Lizzie and Kathleen - two more of my sisters."

They seemed less forthcoming than Amelia and Carolyn had been, but both smiled at her.

"Have you seen Addy?" Kathleen asked and Derek pointed in the direction he thought she was in and then they both disappeared.

"You were saying?" Meredith asked, hoping Derek could finish his warning before they were interrupted again.

"Ah Derek, there you are," Meredith sighed as another woman approached where they were standing and hugged him. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Well, here I am," he replied, running a hand through his hair. "Nancy, this is…"

"You must be Meredith," Nancy said, looking Meredith up and down.

"Nice to meet you," Meredith said, smiling once again and holding her hand out. Nancy ignored the hand and replied with a "hmm…"

She perused the drinks table and then lifted a glass of champagne. "Champagne Meredith? Oh sorry, my bad, I forgot you were pregnant… Does the father of the baby know you're out partying with Derek in New York?" Nancy asked, taking a sip of her glass of champagne.

"Nancy!" Derek said, shooting a look at Nancy, telling her to stop being rude. She shrugged at him and took another sip of her drink.

"The baby might be Derek's…" Meredith replied quietly.

"Well, if you didn't jump from one man's bed to another…" Nancy replied, laughing.

Derek took her by the arm and dragged her away from Meredith.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked angrily, keeping his voice down so as not to cause a scene. "Why is it so difficult for you to be civil towards her?"

"Is it civil to sleep with a married man?" Nancy asked, raising her eyebrows at him. "How could you do that to Addison?"

"We are not talking about this now," Derek replied, letting go of her arm. "Now can you please at least try to be nice?"

"I can try, but I can't make any promises," Nancy said, wandering off to go and talk to Addison and others.

"I am so sorry," Derek said as he returned to Meredith's side. "I was trying to warn you about Nancy… she can be a bit… well, you've met her!"

"It's alright," Meredith replied, setting her drink down as Derek kissed her forehead tenderly. "I'm just going to go to the ladies' room."

Derek nodded and Meredith left the room stopping to lean against the wall as she did. She had been expecting some degree of hostility but nothing quite that mean. She made her way to the toilets and when she got there she found Addison touching up her make-up.

"Hi," Meredith said, not wanting to be rude and ignore her, but also not really in the mood to enter into conversation.

"Hi," Addison replied, continuing to fix her make-up. Meredith disappeared into a cubicle and then heard the door to the toilets opening and someone else entering.

"Can you believe the nerve of that woman?" Meredith recognised Nancy's voice. "Turning up to this, knowing you would be here, and her just waltzing in like she belongs here.."

"Nancy," Addison said, her voice trying to inform her of Meredith's presence, but Nancy paid no attention and continued.

"And have you seen what she is wearing?" Nancy said, leaning in towards the mirror to re-apply lip-stick. "Bit revealing for a pregnant woman don't you think?"

Meredith finished her business and exited the cubicle silently. Nancy shot a look at Addison and the pair looked at Meredith as she washed her hands. Nobody spoke as Meredith then dried her hands and then left the bathroom.

"You could have warned me," Nancy said, turning to face Addison. "Now I'm going to get into more trouble with Derek."

"When have you ever cared what Derek says?" Addison asked laughing, and picking up her bag.

"True," Nancy replied and finished up. Meanwhile Meredith had returned to the party but could not see Derek anywhere. She moved to the far side of the room where a tables had been set up with chairs. She found an empty one and sat down, looking around the room.

"Mind if I join you?" a voice asked. Meredith looked up and found Amelia standing with a plate of food in one hand and a drink in the other. Meredith nodded in response and smiled as she sat down.  
"Are you alight?" Amelia asked, as she took a bite of some of her food. "You look a bit lost."

Meredith nodded. "I am a bit lost. This is a lovely party, but it is all a bit daunting."

"I can understand that, this can't be easy for you," Amelia replied. "Look, I know you're probably taking some stick, under the circumstances, but once people get used to it, everyone will be alright."

"Even Nancy?" Meredith asked, turning to look out to the room. She finally spotted Derek, he was dancing with an older woman.

"I know Nancy can be a bit difficult," Amelia said. "But deep down she just cares for her family and she can get a bit over defensive. Speak of the devil…"

Meredith looked up and saw Nancy making a beeline for where they were sitting. Meredith braced herself for another of Nancy's comments.

"Meredith," Nancy said, hovering in front of her. "I'm sorry for the way I acted. I shouldn't have said what I said, and … I'm sorry."

Meredith had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling. Nancy did not sound in the slightest bit sincere but had obviously been told to come and apologise. Satisfied she had done what she had been asked, Nancy turned and walked away before Meredith could respond. Amelia made her excuses and also left leaving Meredith once again sitting by herself. She wasn't alone for long as Derek soon appeared in front of her holding his hand out.

"I've done my turn with aunts," he said, grinning. "Now I want to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room."

Meredith grinned back at him and stood up, following Derek as he led her to the dance floor. He pulled her close to him and they swayed in time to the music. When they were finished, Derek led her over to where a group of people were standing chatting.

"So Meredith, what do you do for a living?" Nancy asked, as they joined the group.

"I don't actually do anything at the minute," Meredith replied, biting her lip. "I haven't quite found my path."

Nancy let out a snort of laughter, causing people to look at her.

"Oh come on," Nancy said, taking another swig from her glass of champagne. "I tried to be nice, but she doesn't have a job. Bit convenient she has landed herself a top paid neurosurgeon."

"Nancy…" Derek said, raising a warning hand.

"No, it's alright," Meredith said, putting Derek's hand down. "I have had enough of the looks and the snide comments."

Everyone looked uncomfortably between Nancy and Meredith as Meredith approached Nancy.

"My mother had Alzheimer's," Meredith continued. "And eventually we had to put her into a home. We could only just about afford paying the bills, so I worked two jobs while going through college just so I could have money of my own." Tears formed in Meredith's eyes as she continued. "When my mom died she left me money, money I have never touched. I have always paid my own way in whatever I do, and I don't want to spend my life stuck in some career I don't want to do. So Nancy, you can make whatever comments you want about the way I dress, or me being here, but do NOT make comments about my baby or things you know nothing about."

Nancy stood looking shell shocked and before she had time to respond, Meredith had lifted her dress and run from the room. There was a silence, as people did not know what to say or how to react. Carolyn leaned in towards Derek.

"I like her," she whispered, smiling. "She's a keeper."

Derek nodded and then rushed from the room to find Meredith.


	26. Chapter 26

It was two weeks after the Shepherd's party and Derek and Meredith were back in Seattle. The morning after the party, Nancy had approached Meredith at breakfast and had genuinely apologised, and said that she hoped they could start again. Meredith had also apologised for her outburst, but had been told she should not be sorry, as it had shown she was ballsy and should not be messed with. Generally the party had been a success, and Meredith really felt like the family liked her. There had been some awkward moments with Addison, but they had got through them. Upon their return to Seattle, Meredith and Derek had put an offer in for the house and were waiting to hear back from the realtors. One day, when they were out for lunch, Meredith reached across the table and took Derek's hand.

"I have to talk to you about something," she said, biting her lip as she said it. Derek set down his cup of coffee.

"I'm listening," he replied, looking intently at Meredith as she brought her other hand across the table so that she was enclosing his inside both of hers.

"You know how I have my 20 week scan on Thursday?" she asked, tilting her head and giving him the look he had come to know meant that she wanted something from him. He nodded slowly. "Well, how would you feel if.. Well, if Finn came along?"

"Oh, I see," Derek replied, using his free hand to run through his hair, something he always did when he was thinking. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't be fair to say no."

"Thank you," Meredith said, leaning right across the table to kiss him. "I love you."

"You, me, my ex, and your ex," Derek said raising his eyebrows. "It's sure to be fun." He then looked at his watch and realised the time. "I have to go to work, I'll see you later."

He stood up and picked up his belongings and then kissed Meredith's cheek before heading off. Meredith stayed to finish her lunch before paying and leaving. She wandered to her car, peering in shop windows as she walked, and then drove the short distance to Cristina's apartment. She hadn't seen her friend for weeks and Cristina had finally had a free afternoon to fit her in. She didn't have to wait long as Cristina promptly buzzed her up. When the door opened, Meredith took Cristina by surprise by springing a hug on her, as well as she could with her pregnant belly.

"You're cheerful," Cristina remarked as she shook Meredith off and closed the door.

"It's a beautiful sunny day, I am in love, I am pregnant," Meredith replied, taking her bag off and sitting down on a chair. "Why not be cheerful?"

Cristina mimicked throwing up before going to join her friend in the living area of the apartment.

"So, how did the big party go?" Cristina asked as she curled her feet up underneath her and got comfortable.

"It was good," Meredith replied. "I had a go at one of Derek's sisters."

"Oh what happened?" Cristina perked up after hearing this news.

Meredith explained the whole situation and Cristina sat riveted, nodding in all the right places.

"I'm impressed Mer," Cristina replied, nodding in approval. "I'm glad you stood up for yourself."

Meredith did feel proud of herself for not being a walk over.

"Now, I need your help," Cristina said.

"What's up?" Meredith asked, looking at her friend who looked concerned about something. Bracing herself, Meredith prepared to hear some big news.

"Burke proposed," Cristina replied.

"Cristina, that's amazing news!" Meredith said, jumping up and grinning, but upon seeing Cristina's face, she slowly sat down again. "Or not…"

"I don't see why we have to get married," Cristina replied, picking at a thread that was coming from the sofa. "Things are fine the way they are."

"Because you love each other," Meredith said, putting a hand to her heart.

"You've changed," Cristina replied shaking her head. "Don't you remember when you were engaged to Finn you were dead against the whole wedding idea…?"

"It wasn't the wedding idea I was against," Meredith defended herself. "It was the big church wedding, with the frills and the puffy dress. I wanted simplicity."

"Well, I want simplicity too," Cristina said. "The simplicity of not being married."

"So you turned him down?" Meredith asked.

"I said I'd think about it," Cristina replied, shaking her head. "I thought about it there and then, my head was screaming no, then I opened my mouth and that came out."

"Do you want to hear something that will cheer you up?" Meredith asked, raising her eyebrows, realising Cristina needed a distraction.

"Always," Cristina perked up.

"On Thursday I have my 20 week scan," Meredith started, laughing as Cristina's face dropped. "As you know, Addison is my OBGYN, and I will be joined at the appointment by Derek AND Finn."

"You were right," Cristina nodded, smiling. "That_ did_ cheer me up."

* * *

Thursday arrived and the time came for Meredith's appointment with Addison. Patiently she sat in the waiting area between Finn and Derek who were both flicking through magazines. While they were waiting Derek's phone rang and he looked at it, before standing up and disappearing to answer it.

"So, I wanted to tell you something," Finn said once Derek had left. "I've met someone."

"Finn that's great," Meredith replied, turning to smile at him. "I'm really happy for you. What's her name?"

"Erin," he said, smiling at the mention of her name. "It's only been a few weeks, but we really connect."

"Does she know about…?" Meredith pointed at her stomach.

Finn nodded. "I didn't want any secrets.

Meredith smiled and looked up as Derek reappeared with an odd look on his face. Meredith looked at him quizzically as he sat down and he leaned in to her ear to whisper to her, as Finn shuffled in his seat uneasily.

"We got the house," Derek whispered before planting a quick kiss on Meredith's neck just below her ear which sent a shiver down her spine. Not wanting to celebrate in front of Finn, she merely smiled at Derek, and he understood. Soon Addison appeared with a clipboard and beckoned for Meredith to come, and both men stood up too.

"Oh," Addison smiled awkwardly. "It's a full house today."

The three of them followed her in silence into an examination room.

"I'm Finn," Finn said when they had entered and shut the door, leaning forward to shake Addison's hand. "The other spurned lover," he said joking, but nobody laughed and he shrugged and sat down. Meredith got onto the bed and did as she was told, grimacing as Addison put the cold gel onto her stomach. After a few seconds Addison picked up the heartbeat and turned the monitor to show Meredith, as Finn and Derek also huddled around it.

"Your baby is strong and healthy," Addison said smiling. "Would you like to know its sex?"

"Yes," Finn said, as Derek replied with "no" at the same time.

"Well, really it's up to Meredith," Addison said, as everyone turned to look at her.

"Well I hadn't really thought about it," Meredith said looking between Finn and Derek. "I don't know."

"If you knew the sex, you could prepare," Finn said.

"Or it could be a surprise at the birth," Derek followed up.

"Why don't you leave it today?" Addison interjected after nothing had been said for a couple of minutes. "I can inform you at a later stage, if you decide that is the route you would like to take."

Meredith nodded her head in response and Addison started to clean up.

"Erin said I should find out," Finn said.

"Who is Erin?" Derek asked, looking between Meredith and Finn.

"Finn's new woman," Meredith replied. "They've been together for a few weeks."

"Why should she have a say?" Derek asked, helping Meredith off the bed. "She's not part of this."

"She's as much a part of this as you are," Finn retorted.

"What, she may have fathered the baby?" Derek asked, laughing.

"Well, if it is my baby, you're still going to be with Meredith aren't you?" Finn asked. "So, Erin is you, if the baby is mine."

Derek didn't bother replying, instead shrugging and nodding a goodbye at Addison. Meredith said goodbye to Finn and then headed off with Derek. When they had got outside, Meredith wound her arms around Derek's neck and hugged him tightly letting out a little squeal.

"What was that for?" Derek asked.

"We got the house!" Meredith replied, grinning at Derek before kissing him.

"Maybe we should invite Finn and Erin over for a house-warming," Derek said laughing, as Meredith pulled away. She hit him playfully with her bag and started walking towards the car.


	27. Chapter 27

The next month passed in a blur for Meredith and Derek as they started preparing for the big move to their new home. Meredith had taken to visiting the house when Derek was busy working, mentally planning where she would put things and how she would like it to look. When she had lived with Finn, she had moved into Finn's house and it had very much felt like his, despite her having stuff there. But this time, it was a joint move and she was enjoying the freedom of deciding. When Derek returned from work she would discuss her ideas with him, and he would nod his head appropriately and smile as she told him her latest plans. He was secretly pleased that she now had something other than the pregnancy to focus on, as he knew she was becoming restless, and she still had four months of her pregnancy to go.

"Before I forget," Meredith said one night, after she had filled Derek in of her plans for the kitchen. "We're having dinner with my dad, Susan and Lexie on Friday."

"Good," Derek replied. "You've been keeping me waiting quite a while to meet your family."

"Well, I'm afraid they're not that exciting," Meredith said laughing. "While you may have your big family, with your big family parties, I'm afraid it is just the four of us."

"It doesn't matter how many of you there are," Derek replied. "They're your family, so I would very much like to meet them."

"Well, you can on Friday…" Meredith wrapped her arm over Derek, cuddling into his warmth and resting her head on his chest as they lay on the bed. "I must warn you though… dad will probably interrogate you. It'll be like I'm 16 all over again."

Derek laughed. "I'm a big boy, I can look after myself."

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Meredith replied.

"You managed to survive Nancy," Derek said. "I'm sure I can survive whatever your dad has to throw at me!"

* * *

Friday finally arrived and Meredith and Derek arrived early at the restaurant where they had arranged to have dinner. They were shown to their table, and were deep in conversation when they heard someone clear their throat.

"Sorry to disturb you, but…" Lexie said, as Susan and Thatcher hovered in the background. Meredith stood up and hugged her sister and then did the same to Thatcher and Susan.

"Dad, Susan, this is Derek," she said, gesturing and smiling proudly. "Derek, this is my dad and Susan."  
Derek reached across and shook both of their hands.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Susan gushed, settling into her chair. "I've been hearing so much about you from Lexie."

"All good I hope," Derek replied smiling.

Susan nodded and Thatcher looked up from his menu.

"So, you left your wife for Meredith?" he asked, causing Meredith to choke on her water as she was taking a sip.

"Dad!" both Meredith and Lexie exclaimed together, as Susan said "Thatcher!"

"What?" he asked, not seeing what he had done wrong. "I'm just getting the facts."

"Yes, I was married when Meredith and I met," Derek responded, gesturing the waiter over.

"So, do you make a habit of getting with your patients?" Thatcher continued, this time not looking up from his menu.

"Dad!" came the response once again, joined by "Thatcher!"

"Can I take your orders please?" the waiter asked.

"No, I do not make it a habit…" Derek calmly replied. "Meredith is special." he continued, smiling across at her.

"Uh-huh…" Thatcher replied. "How do I know you aren't going to cheat on my daughter? What if someone else 'special' comes along? Are you going to do her too?"

Susan stood up this time, grabbing Thatcher by the arm. "Thatcher!" she exclaimed as she pulled him away. Meredith hid her face behind her menu, as Lexie reassuringly rubbed her on the back. Derek turned to the waiter.

"I think we'll need a moment or two more," he said.

Meredith looked across the restaurant and noticed Susan giving Thatcher a telling off. They soon arrived back at the table.

"So, you're a neurosurgeon?" Thatcher asked, as if nothing had happened.

"Yes, yes I am," Derek replied.

"He's the best in the country," Meredith said, once again beaming proudly at her man.

"So, you're still a neurosurgeon?" Thatcher asked slowly.

"Yes… why would I not be?" Derek asked, confused by the current line of questioning.

"Don't you get punished for sleeping with a patient?" Thatcher asked.

This time Susan lifted her menu and gave Thatcher a swift but effective hit on the arm with it.

"Mr Grey, with the greatest of respect, I don't think this is really a conversation to be having at the dinner table," Derek said. "If you really want to grill me, can we please do so in private?"

"Oh!" Meredith let out an exclamation. "Sorry, the baby kicked," she said, placing a hand over her bump. "I think they agree with Derek."

Lexie and Susan looked expectantly between Derek and Thatcher, whose eyes were locked across the table.

"Shall we order food?" Meredith asked, to break the awkward silence. Everyone nodded so Derek once again beckoned the waiter over.

* * *

Later, when the meal was over, Meredith leaned over to whisper something to Lexie who nodded and stood up.

"We're just going to visit the ladies' room," she said, shooting a look in Susan's direction. Susan instantly picked up on the hint.

"I'll join you," she said, picking up her bag and hurrying across the restaurant with Meredith and Lexie, leaving Derek and Thatcher alone at the table.

"You love my daughter, don't you?" Thatcher asked after they had sat in silence for a minute or two.

"Of course I do," Derek replied taking a sip of his drink. "More than anything."

"I love her too," Thatcher said, nodding. "She's my daughter, and it's my job to protect her. She didn't have an easy time growing up, what with Ellis' illness and whatnot. I probably wasn't the best dad I could be to her, I drank a lot, and then I found Susan. I had Susan to lean on, Meredith was never really happy, not until she met Finn. I don't want her to get hurt."

"You don't know me," Derek replied, setting his drink down, and looking sincerely at Thatcher. "But you will just have to take my word, that falling for Meredith was completely out of character for me. I have never cheated on my ex-wife before, and I will never, ever, cheat on Meredith. It's easy to think, 'once a cheater always a cheater', but I give you my word, that is not the case here."

Thatcher took a moment or two to consider this before reaching his hand out across the table.

"Welcome to the family, Derek," he said, as Derek accepted his hand and shook it. "But I'm warning you, if you ever hurt my daughter, I will make sure you suffer the consequences."

Derek nodded and then looked up as Meredith, Susan and Lexie approached the table again. He gave a small nod in Meredith's direction and she smiled at him, noticing the handshake.


	28. Chapter 28

As Meredith pulled into the driveway of the house she had once shared with Finn, she spotted an unfamiliar car. Since she had been living in the trailer with Derek, and therefore did not have much room, she had kept a lot of her stuff in boxes at Finn's house. Now that it was finally moving day she had arranged for a removal truck to pick the boxes up and move them to her new house, but she wanted to be there to be sure that nothing of Finn's was moved accidentally and that fragile things were handled carefully. Derek was working a shift at the hospital but had promised he would meet her at the new house as soon as possible. Getting out of the car, Meredith looked around but saw no sign of the removal men, or Finn's car for that matter. She walked to the front door and tapped it three times. It didn't take long until she heard locks being opened.

"You must be Meredith," a woman said as the door swung open. "It's so exciting to finally meet you! Hi, I'm Erin!"

Meredith was taken aback as the woman suddenly hugged her. When Erin finally let her go, Meredith peered around her shoulder into the house.

"Is Finn here?" Meredith asked.

Erin shook her head in response and beckoned for Meredith to come inside.

"He got called away on a job," she said, closing the door behind Meredith. "You know how it is."

Meredith nodded as she followed Erin through to the kitchen.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked, opening cupboards.

"No, I'm alright, thank you," Meredith replied, watching as Erin bustled around the kitchen. "So, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here?"

"Didn't Finn tell you?" Erin replied, finally standing still for a minute. "I moved in."

Meredith smiled in response. Erin and Finn had only been together a short time and already they were moving in. But still, who was she to judge? She had moved in with Derek on the night they finally got together. At the thought of Derek she turned to look at the staircase, smiling as she remembered the night he had arrived telling her that he wanted her. Remembering she was in company, Meredith shook her head and turned back to look at Erin, who appeared to be in the middle of a story.

"So, did you find out the sex of the baby?" Erin asked, moving around again, seemingly doing nothing.

"No, we decided not to," Meredith replied, taking a seat on a chair to take the weight off her feet. At eight months pregnant, she didn't like to stand for too long.

"Awwww," Erin replied, moving to sit beside Meredith and placing an uninvited hand on Meredith's pregnant belly. "You should have. Have you thought of names yet? Finn and I can't wait for him or her to arrive - I bet you and Dirk can't either."

"It's Derek," Meredith replied, removing Erin's hand. "Erin, I don't mean to be rude, but you do realise this baby might not be Finn's?"

Erin nodded vigorously. "I know that, but it might be," she said.

Meredith stood up and started to pace around, hoping the delivery people would arrive soon. She was wondering how she would take much more of the smiley, bustling, over-enthusiastic Erin, who seemed nice enough but was starting to get on Meredith's nerves. Finally she heard a knock on the door and instead of waiting for Erin to go and answer it, she did it herself. Relieved, she noticed the man at the door was from the delivery company and she directed him to the room where all her stuff was. When the van was finally loaded up, she said her goodbyes to Erin and headed for the new house.

* * *

After unpacking the last of the boxes Meredith lowered herself onto the sofa and closed her eyes for what felt like a few minutes, but when she opened them again it was dark. She also had a blanket draped over her. Stretching, she sat up and looked at her watch. It just after ten and she had dozed off around four. Standing up, she headed for the hall and started climbing the stairs. She heard a noise above her and froze.

"Derek?" she called, gripping the banister. "Is that you?"

She heard a door open and breathed a sigh of relief when Derek appeared.

"You're awake," he said smiling, beckoning for her to go to him. She climbed the rest of the stairs and hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I met Erin today," Meredith said, pulling away so she could see Derek's face. "She thought you were called Dirk, she's moved in with Finn, and seems over-excited about this baby."

"Dirk?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrow.

Meredith nodded and headed for their new bedroom. "Are you coming?"

Derek remained where he was. "Wait a minute," he said, reaching forward and taking her hand. "I want to show you something."

He turned the door handle to the room he had emerged from and slowly opened the door. He then placed his hands over Meredith's eyes.

"What's going on?" she asked, putting her hands over his, trying to remove them.

Derek guided her slowly forward and used his elbow to flick on the light switch. He removed his hands and stood back as Meredith looked around her. The room had been painted in a cream colour and there was a dark wooden cot in the corner with a mobile hanging above it. In the opposite corner there was a matching bookcase, currently bare, sat beside a large rocking chair. A teddy bear sat on the chair with an envelope tucked under his arm.

"Derek…" Meredith finally said, turning round to face him.

"Go and open the envelope," he replied. Meredith headed across the room and picked up the envelope, opening it carefully. Inside was a 'New Home' card which she opened.

_Meredith,_

_Welcome home. I can't wait to spend my life with you here, making memories. The three of us. You, me, and baby Grey. I love you both, unconditionally._

_Derek._

Meredith turned back to face Derek, her face scrunched up and tears falling down her cheeks.

"Don't cry," Derek said, laughing as he moved to join her and wipe away the tears. He knew the hormones were causing her to react in that way.

"Thank you," Meredith said, as the tears became more frequent. "For this room, for the card, for being here."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head once more in the crook of his neck.

"Now, let's enjoy this last month of freedom before baby appears," Derek said, leading Meredith from the room and to their new bedroom. "I know we christened the bed before, but can't help to christen it twice."

* * *

_A/N: The big reveal is in the next chapter ;-)_


	29. Chapter 29

The next month flew in, and before they knew it, Meredith's due date was upon them. And then it passed. Derek would go to work keeping a close eye on his pager just in case Meredith went into labour when he wasn't there. Every time it went off his hopes would rise, but it was always a page about a consult or a patient needing to see him. When they could, Lexie and Cristina had been going to visit Meredith and keep her company, along with other friends and occasionally Susan would call round.

"Not popped yet?" Cristina asked one day when Meredith opened the door to her looking fed up.

"Do I look like I have popped?" Meredith asked, turning and walking back to the sofa, where she had positioned herself surrounded by food and drinks, so she would not have to get up.

"Can I get you anything?" Cristina asked as she followed her through.

"A massage would be great, my shoulders are killing me," Meredith replied. "Or you could go and get me another pillow. Or a cold flannel - is it just me or is it far too hot in here?"

"I was being polite," Cristina said, sitting down at the other end of the sofa and lifting Meredith's legs and placing them over her knees. "You're pregnant, not an invalid."

Meredith lifted a cushion and threw it at her friend. "Thanks for the support. Ohhhhh…" she groaned.

"What? What is it? Is the baby coming?" Cristina asked.

"I need to visit the toilet and I just sat down," Meredith replied, levering herself off the sofa again.

"Um, Mer…" Cristina replied, screwing up her face. "I don't think it's the toilet you need."

Meredith looked down and then looked back at Cristina.

"The baby's coming!" Meredith exclaimed, a grin spreading across her face. "The baby is coming!"

Cristina couldn't help but grin back at her as she stood up to hug her.

"Where are my bags?!" Meredith asked, frantically looking around her.

"You go and get in the car, I'll find your bags," Cristina ordered, sending Meredith towards the door before locating two bags in the hall. She lifted the keys from the table in the hall, along with the bags, and then went to join Meredith in the car. She drove them to the hospital and then helped Meredith inside, putting her in a wheelchair as she went to find someone to get Addison.

* * *

Twenty hours later Meredith's excitement had waned as there was still no sign of her baby, or any signs that it would be appearing any time soon. Derek had come to see her as soon as he got out of surgery and had stayed as long as he could before having to go to another. Cristina had had to start her shift, so Meredith had been left lying alone for a while when Addison entered the room.

"How are you feeling?" Addison asked as she picked up the chart. "Do you mind if I examine you?"

Meredith shook her head and let Addison do her thing.

"Well, I have good news," Addison soon said. "You're 10cm dilated - baby will be here soon."

"Really?" Meredith asked, instantly perking up.

Addison nodded, removing her gloves and filling in the chart. "I'll be back shortly," she said as she left the room. There was a knock at the door and Cristina appeared.

"How are you doing?" she asked as she sat down in the chair next to Meredith.

"I'm ready to go," Meredith replied, squeezing Cristina's hand. "Can you stay with me? Derek's in surgery and I don't want to be alone through this."

"There must be something wrong with me," Cristina replied. "I willingly got myself put on Addison's service. It may mean I have to, uh, help through the birth, but at least I'm here, right?"

"You're the best," Meredith replied, finding herself being reduced to tears again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be getting emotional."

"You should," Cristina said, smiling at Meredith and brushing the hair back from her fact. "You're going to be a mom."

Meredith nodded through her tears.

* * *

"Where's Derek?!" Meredith asked, as she leaned back against the pillow, the pain washing over her. "I want Derek."

"He's in surgery Mer," Cristina replied, taking a damp cloth and holding it against her forehead. "He'll be here when he's done."

"I want him now," Meredith said, grabbing hold of the pillow and squeezing it with all the strength she could muster.

"OK Meredith, I can see the head, we need you to push," Addison said. "Push Meredith."

Meredith gritted her teeth and did as she was told, squeezing Cristina's hand.

"Good job," Addison said. "Now, stop a minute. Ok, we're ready again."

Meredith continued to push, and suddenly she felt relief washing over her body.

"She's here," Addison said, as Meredith heard the baby cry. "Congratulations."

"She?" Meredith asked, trying to sit up. Addison cut the umbilical cord, and proceeded to lift the baby and place her on Meredith's chest.

"It's a girl," Addison nodded, standing for a minute to look at the pair. Meredith looked at her baby in awe, before looking at Addison. The pair caught each other's gaze, and Addison gave a small smile and a nod. Meredith smiled at her and then the nurse came and took the baby away, cleaning her up and wrapping her in a blanket. She handed her back to Meredith and then the door opened and Derek entered.

"What did I miss?" he asked, still pulling his white coat on, obviously being just out of surgery.

Addison and Cristina headed for the door as Derek approached the bed slowly.

"It's a girl," Meredith said, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. He leant down and instantly kissed her.

"I'm so sorry I missed it," he said, as he kissed her forehead. "She is beautiful, just like you."

"I can't believe she's here," Meredith replied, looking down again at the baby in her arms. "I love her so much already."

"Have you decided on a name?" Derek asked as Meredith shuffled over, meaning he could lay beside her. He put his arm around her shoulder.

Meredith shook her head and then bit her lip. "Her middle name is Grace though."

"Why Grace?" Derek asked.

"Whatever happens, she is still your daughter," Meredith replied, turning her head to look at him. "Ten months ago I came here thinking I was going to die, but instead I met you. We met here, at Seattle Grace hospital. Whether she is biologically yours or not, she will always be a reminder of where we came from, no matter where we end up," Meredith finished.

"Something Grace Grey," Derek said, leaning down to kiss the sleeping baby. "Your mom is quite possibly the sweetest woman I have ever met."

"So you like the idea?" Meredith asked.

"I love it," he replied, pulling her closer to him and resting his chin on her head.

Later on in the morning, Finn arrived at the hospital to see the baby and he and Derek contributed their part to the DNA test. Addison had promised to have the results back the following afternoon.

* * *

The following day Finn and Derek gathered in Meredith's room. Derek was pacing the room, while Finn sat in a chair clicking a pen. Even though she knew it was a big day, Meredith was too besotted with her baby to notice either of them fidget.

"Could you stop that clicking?" Derek asked, as he stopped pacing and thrust his hands into his pockets.

"Only if you stop pacing," Finn replied. Derek sighed and sat down on the edge of Meredith's bed while Finn put his pen back in his pocket.

After what seemed like an eternity there was a knock at the door and Addison entered with a folder. Derek tried to read her face, but she was giving absolutely nothing away. Both Derek and Finn stood up expectantly. Meredith got up and laid the baby gently down in the plastic cot beside her bed. She then got back onto her bed and took a firm grip of Derek's hand, while Finn stood at the other side of her.

"Meredith," Addison said. "Would you like me to tell you first? Or would you rather I just told everyone at once?"

"Just tell us here," Meredith replied, taking a deep breath.

"The baby, your baby," Addison started, seemingly unsure how to break the news. "Your baby is Finn's."

Everything seemed to move in slow motion from that moment for Meredith. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Finn fist pumping the air, before composing himself. He then took out his mobile phone and was furiously typing a text, a grin firmly planted on his face. She felt Derek's hand loosen in hers, before he let go completely to run two hands through his hair. Addison looked strangely disappointed as she surveyed the scene. The sound of a pager beeping interrupted the scene - it was Derek's.

"Congratulations," Derek said, reaching across the bed to shake Finn's hand. "I have to get back to work."

"Derek," Meredith called after him, making a grab for his hand.

"I have to go," he said, taking one last look at Meredith before continuing to stride out of the door. Finn was leaning over the cot cooing at the baby and Addison approached the bed.

"I'm so sorry Meredith," she said, genuinely. "I wish I could have told you something different today, I really do."

She squeezed Meredith's arm reassuringly before also leaving the room, while Meredith lent her head against the pillow, tears filling her eyes. Finn's phone rang and he also disappeared from the room, leaving Meredith alone with her baby. Finn's baby.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_Well, I know people will not be happy with Finn being the father, I wanted it to be Derek's baby too, but _In Another Life_ has run its course and so will reach its conclusion in the next chapter._

_But... I have loved writing this story, so I will be writing a sequel, again focused on Meredith and Derek and how they cope with a new baby, especially a baby that isn't Derek's. _

_Making the baby Finn's will allow me to explore a whole other side to Meredith and Derek's relationship, and I want to see where it goes next._

_The whole premise of this story was Derek struggling when he fell for a patient and whether he would risk his life with Addison and his career to be with Meredith. Well, we've answered that now - he's been with Meredith for six months now, they have just bought a house. _

_So, to sum up: the next chapter will be In Another Life's last, but there __**WILL**__ be a sequel! Details in the final chapter :)_

_Thank you all for reading, commenting, and sharing this journey!_


	30. Chapter 30

_A/N: Apologies for this chapter taking so long to appear - I wanted to get it just right. As expected there was a mix of reactions to the last chapter, thank you to those who didn't decide to stop reading because of it! Anyway, I hope this last chapter of In Another Life does the story justice. Details of the sequel will be at the end - enjoy :)_

* * *

Mark was reaching the end of a long shift and had decided to head for an on call room in the hopes of getting a quick nap before his next surgery. When he opened the door he found Derek sitting alone with his head in his hands. At the sound of Mark entering the room, Derek raised his head, and Mark instantly noticed that his eyes were red rimmed. Derek lifted his hands to his eyes and wiped them as Mark closed the door and sat down.

"Are you alright?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Meredith's had her baby," Derek replied. "And it's not mine."

"Meredith's had the baby? That's great news," Mark replied enthusiastically. "So, what are you doing sitting alone in here?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Derek asked, sighing, and looking straight at Mark.

Mark nodded. "I heard what you said," he replied, moving from his seat to go and sit beside Derek. "But it doesn't explain why you're sitting in here, when the woman you love has just had a baby. You should be with Meredith."

"I don't think you're really qualified to tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing," Derek responded as he stood up and headed for the door.

Mark sighed. "Derek, wait," he called out. "I know I'm not really the person to be dishing out relationship advice, but I can help you with something else - can I give you some advice?"

Derek stopped with his hand hovering over the door handle. He ran his hands through his hair before turning round and sitting down in the chair that Mark had vacated. He leant forward, resting his arms on his knees with his hands clasped together, waiting to head what words of wisdom Mark felt he could offer him.

"You know my mom and dad never had much time for me growing up," Mark started.

"Look, I don't have time for your sob stories," Derek replied, standing up again.

"They didn't have a lot of time for me, so, I spent a lot of time with your family. I didn't know what it was like to have a family. Mrs Shepherd, your mom, was like a mom to me, she treated me like a son," he continued. "She made me feel like I was part of a family."

"Didn't stop you sleeping with my sisters," Derek raised his eyebrows as he once again sat down.

Mark smiled sheepishly. "Anyway, that didn't mean that I loved my real parents any less, but I loved her too. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you may not be that baby's biological father, but that doesn't mean they won't love you. You're a very important part of his or her life."

Derek mulled this over. "It's a her," he said, and he couldn't help but smile as he thought about her. "She's a she - she's beautiful."

He then reached into his pocket and took out his phone, before handing it to Mark so that he could look at a picture of her.

"You love Meredith, right?" Mark asked, as he handed back the phone.

"Of course I do," Derek replied, looking at the picture on his phone, deep in thought.

"She's just had a baby, and you're no-where to be seen," Mark said. "This must be difficult for her too, she loves you, she wanted this baby to be yours too. Derek, Meredith and that beautiful little baby need you. Derek, after everything you risked to be with Meredith, you can't just let that all be for nothing."

"I know, you're right," Derek replied. Before he left the room he patted Mark's shoulder as a sign of thanks. "Thank you."

"No problem, what are friends for?" Mark asked, as he stretched himself out on the bed.

Derek smiled slightly and nodded. The pair of them had barely talked since Derek had found out about Mark sleeping with Addison, but just in those ten minutes, it had felt like it used to.

He headed back to Meredith's room and found her asleep. He felt guilty, he had been avoiding her since they had found out the results the day before. He hadn't known how to act or what to do, and instead had just thrown himself into his surgeries and rounds, so that he wouldn't have time to go and see her. Leaving her to sleep, he headed up to the nursery. He found Addison there standing in front of a huge window, watching the babies. She turned when she heard him approached, but didn't say a word, instead turning back to look at the babies. Derek stood beside her and soon found Meredith's baby, who was sound asleep - she looked the image of her mom.

"How is it possible to have so much love for someone, so quickly?" Derek asked. "Especially someone who isn't mine to love."

"She obviously takes after her mother in more ways than one," Addison replied, raising her eyebrow. "Listen, Derek, I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way you wanted."

"It's not your fault," Derek said. "This just wasn't meant to be."

Addison stood thinking for a minute before turning fully to face Derek. "Technically, babies are supposed to be in the nursery right now, but I could have a word and bend the rules, if you'd like to see her?"

Derek took a deep breath and nodded, following Addison into the nursery. He hung back as she talked to the nurse on duty. Addison then disappeared momentarily, before reappearing with the baby. Derek sat down and Addison placed the sleeping baby into Derek's arms, and then backed off.

"I'll give you two a moment," she said smiling as she walked away.

The baby started to stir. "Don't wake up," Derek said softly, but it was too late as she opened her blue eyes, but she didn't make a sound.

"You are the spitting image of your mom," Derek said, smiling as she curled a hand around his finger. "Which is a good thing, she's gorgeous. You are so lucky to have her. And your dad, well, your other dad Finn, he's a vet," he continued, remembering back to when Meredith had first appeared in the hospital. She had been so proud telling Derek that Finn was a vet.

"One day, when you're a bit older, I'll take you to see the ferry boats, just you and me. You can see the way their lights sparkle in the dark, like your mom's eyes, they sparkle too…"

* * *

Later that afternoon, Meredith was packing up her things to go home when, there was a knock on the door of her room. Thinking it might be Derek finally returning she turned around quickly and expectantly, but she soon discovered it was not him.

"Mr and Mrs Dandridge," Meredith said, forcing a smile as Finn's parent entered the room.

"Meredith…" a woman replied, holding her arms out wide and embracing Meredith in a hug. "Finn told us the news, we wanted to come right away and meet her."

Meredith couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter, disguising it as a cough. Mrs Dandridge had been more than hostile towards Meredith after news of her and Finn breaking up and why had spread. Mrs Dandridge had said some very unfavourable things.

"She's not here right now," Meredith said, returning to her packing. "She's up in the nursery."

"We can't wait to meet her," Mrs Dandridge replied, clasping her hands together. "Our first grandchild. And, now you and Finn can get back together - you'll be the perfect little family."

Meredith stopped in her tracks and turned around. "Back together? What gave you that impression. That definitely will not be happening…"

"But why not?" Mrs Dandridge asked. "She's Finn's daughter, she needs to grow up with her mom and dad, in a loving environment."

"Mrs Dandridge," Meredith replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I don't love Finn, it wouldn't be loving. I love Derek."

"Meredith," Mrs Dandridge replied, moving to sit beside Meredith on the bed and taking her hand. Meredith noticed that Mr Dandridge was still standing near the door with his hands in his pockets, reluctant to get involved.

"Derek has such a challenging, demanding job. Finn would be there, and would support both of you. He could be there for you," Mrs Dandridge continued.

"Derek and I will manage just fine," Meredith replied, removing her hand from Mrs Dandridge's grasp. "He loves us."

"But where is he now?" Mrs Dandridge asked, smiling at Meredith in a patronising way.

"Here," a voice from the doorway said. Everyone turned round to look at Derek as he came into the room, offering his hand to both of the Dandridges, but only Mr Dandridge accepted the gesture.

Meredith felt relief shooting through her at Derek's reappearance.

"I have just arranged to take a month's leave from work, so I can be right there for Meredith and the baby, whenever they need me," Derek said. He looked straight at Meredith, silently telling her everything was going to be alright.

"Oh," Mrs Dandridge replied, picking up her handbag and bustling out of the room, swiftly followed by Mr Dandridge.

Meredith was left standing next to the bed, unsure of what was going to happen next. Derek wasted no time in approaching her and pulling her towards him in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, kissing the top of her head. "For taking off, for not being here when you needed me."

"You're here now," Meredith replied, pulling out of the hug and looking up at Derek. "We're going to be alright?"

Derek nodded and leant down to kiss her. "Now let's get our gorgeous little girl home."

Meredith grinned as he referred to her as "ours" and hugged him again. "Let's get her home".

* * *

_This is the end of In Another Life, but if you'd like to continue reading this story, check out__** Life Goes On. **_

_A new baby, interfering grandparents, Derek's family, Finn & Erin - there is a lot to get used to, but at the end of the day, Life Goes On._


End file.
